Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Your Life Now vs. Your Life in College

This concept is not entirely orginal, it is borrowed from michiganzone.blogspot.com

Happy Monday

Now 6 AM:  Your alarm pierces your ears as you awake from deep sleep.  You hate the damn sound of your alarm, its a sound worse than a vuvuzella being blown in your ear.

College 6 AM:  Sleep bitches, no worries. 

Now 7 AM: You have showered, gotten dressed and are getting your morning coffee at Dunkin Donuts

College 7 AM: Sleep bitches

Now 8 AM:  Your at work, removing the coffee stain from your tie, your first meeting is taking place and you can't figure out the point of it.  Good thing you had your coffee though because you totally needed to be awake for this shit.  Your boss pulls you aside after the meeting and tells you about a special project he needs you to work on.

College 8 AM: Still Sleeping, how does that make you feel?

Now 9 AM:  Your trying to start your special project but your coworker next to you is playing Seal's Kiss from Rose in a special jazz rendition.  Its brutal to sit through this all day, Michael Bolton and Kenny G are coming don't worry.  Stuart made a point to walk over to your desk and unsolicted tell you about how much fun he had this weekend.  Thank's Stuart but I don't care about what you got at the mall, or that episode of Undercover Boss, please go back to your cubicle.

College 9 AM:  You slowly work yourself out of bed because you have your early 10 AM class today.  It's no big deal though just Sociology 101.  You had to pick an elective course and there are plenty of girls in these classes so why not.  You Facebook stalk some of the girls in your upcoming class on your laptop and scrounge for some pop tarts to eat.

Now 12 PM:  Your taking a working lunch to do the extra work that has been dumped on you today

College 12 PM:  Your eating from a buffet at school and it didn't cost you anything but a swipe on your card. 

Now: 2 PM:  Time for another pointless meeting.  You think all this material could have been covered earlier today.

College 2PM:  Your done classes for the day, time to hit the gym.

Now 4PM: Your out of energy, but there is no way your getting out of here at a reasonable hour, time for some more caffine.

College 4PM: Time for some Madden with the roomates

Now 5 PM: Your boss comes by your cubicle on his way out the door.  He stops to ask, "are you done that project yet?"  You want to tell him the many reasons he is a douchebag, but you know you have to play nice.  You say not yet sir, but I will have it completed shortly.  Your not sure you can complete the project without asking some questions but you will have to do it the hard way.

College 5 PM:  Your roomate is outside on his usual long phone call with his girlfriend that lives 600 miles away.  You have plently of time to use your personal computer to relieve some stress.

Now 7 PM:  The office has pretty much cleared out, this has not been your day.  You don't think you are doing the special project correctly but it's not getting better anytime soon.  Time to slap a period on this.

College 7PM: Time for intramurals in the gym and bonus the hot sorority is playing in the next court over.

Now 8 PM: Finally leaving the office, its dark as shit outside, but hey no traffic and you have to appreciate the little things.

College 8 PM:  Back to your co-ed dorms for a shower.  The bathrooms are way down at the end of the hall and you have to take the long walk to the showers in just a towel.  I really hope no girls have to do the same thing.  Well it turns out its just not your day, three sorority pledges have to use the shower the same time as you.  You share a few admiring glances, and stammer to say hi.  The girls return a hi and giggle as they walk by.

Now 9 PM: You get home and have dinner, you debate whether or not you have enough energy to go to the gym.  Gotta keep that body in shape though your not as active as you were in college.

College 9 PM: You crack open some beers with the roomates.  You get a knock on the door.  What do you know its the girls from 4C you saw in the hallway.  They invite you over to watch a movie, it's probably the Notebook or some lame movie but it doesn't matter you are game.  You finish your beers and casually make you way over there.

Now 10 PM: Your workout is less than stellar, you have no energy left, time to head home. 

College 10PM:  Hey the Notebook isn't so bad when when your watching it with the girls in 4C, your trying to figure out which one you can get with.  Who do you make a move on? Will you upset the others with your choice?  Will the girl be up for it?  These are the most stressful and difficut decisions of your day.  College is hard man.

Now 11 PM:  Your getting into bed but you are having trouble sleeping.  Your skimping on heat to save money so its cold.  You can't get work of your mind.  What if I really screwed up that project?  What is my boss going to do.

College 11 PM: You have finished your 4th beer and the girls are crying because the movie is getting real sad.   It's time to console them.  See you are a sweet guy.

Now 12 PM: Finally you fall asleep, up in 6 hours if you can sleep through the night.

College 12 PM:  Your a chicken and can't make a move, damn your inexperience.  Wait it looks like someone is making the decision for you.  Carly is sliding her tounge down your throat and your a guest in her dorm so you don't want to be rude so you roll with it.  Score.

Winner: Work  College

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