Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Sports Gives Life


You can debate the exact moment when Michigan Football bottomed out, but it was certainly in 2014.  For me it was losing to Rutgers (but covering the spread, which says alot) and looking poorly coached in the process.  The week before Brady Hoke left a clearly concussed Shane Morris in the Minnesota game (he should have never started over Devin Gardner in the first place), and the athletic director Dave Brandon fired off crazy emails to fans complaining such as "Quit Drinking and Go to Bed".  AD Brandon would be fired after the emails became public.  Hoke would get fired at year end.  

I was miserable and hated my boring job and was travelling overnight to towns long forgotten.  Michigan Football was one of my releases and it was failing.  There was no logistical way to make it work but I decided I had to try to coach football.  I was sure I couldn't be worse than what was going on at Michigan and maybe one day I could help.  I am not a great teacher but surely I wouldn't twice in one game have 10 players on specials against Rutgers.  I went to my supervisor and explained that I would travel anywhere they wanted as long as I was kept within driving distance from September to Thanksgiving so I could coach.  She couldn't guarantee it but promised to work with me and that the schedule looked promising to do it.  So in late 2014 I started coaching at my alma mater and more importantly Jim Harbaugh did at his.  

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It was August 2021 and my wife was folding clothes as I was coming into the room and she half-joking/half-serious said "If Michigan beats Ohio St this year will you have a third kid?" I was completely serious when I said "deal" immediately.  It hadn't happened since 2011 when my whole family had attended the game in the Big House, and desperation was reaching critical mass with 2003 being the only other win this century.  My wife knew the odds weren't great, I suggested less than 10% given the 14.5 point spread at the time.  Every year I felt like Charlie Brown (Michigan) running at the football (Ohio St) only for Lucy to pull it away, at least my wife would join me in 2021.

Cade McNamara passed for 44 yards but Michigan dominated Washington on the ground and I thought about running towards that football.  Michigan looked different, but was it real?  The next week Michigan looked like it would blow out Rutgers but failed to score in the 2nd half and similar problems with the offense were festering again.  My Dad, brother, and I attended the game at Wisconsin the next week where Michigan jumped around in between the 3rd and 4th Quarter and won convincingly.  Michigan survived a weird one at Nebraska the following week setting up a top 10 shutdown against Michigan St.  Michigan would lose a brutal game to Kareem Walker and the Spartans.  I still felt good about the team though and hammered Fox Bet 14-1 for Michigan to win the B1G (Fox had really low limits for this).  My buddy Lou and I watched Michigan go down 17-14 at Penn St with under 6 minutes left despite clearly being the better team.  I turned and said how this was a huge narrative drive for the Harbaugh tenure and Michigan to get over a hurdle of can't win the big games.  Thankfully Erik All caught a crossing route and outran Penn St for 47 yards on a bum ankle for the go ahead score and Michigan would close it out.



I did not feel great about beating Ohio St.  They just went up on Michigan St 49-0 at half the week before (Walker was hurt and limited) and Ryan Day had carved up Michigan as OC and HC.  The line as 8.5 but with two wins in the century it felt higher.  Ohio St had an all time offense (47.2 on SP+ , #1) with three first round picks at WR (not including Marvin Harrison on the bench!) and top 2 pick at QB.  11-1 vs 11-1, everything was on the line again.  Lucy holds the football.

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I loved being back on the high school football field.  Nothing can replace playing, but coaching still gives you a rush on gamedays.  Watching film and game planning especially on special teams brought me joy.  Work did not and I felt my supervisor and her supervisor were conspiring against me by sending me to State College, Indiana (PA), Berwick during football season.  There was plenty of other people to go in my place and I had held up my end by traveling often during the winter, spring, and summer.  It was an inflection point in life but it was immensely stressful.  I was done dealing with my bosses, I was tired of being depressed in Hazelton, PA with nothing to do after work.  I started applying for jobs and I had a ton of leave saved up so I used it to go on interviews, to take 3 hours off each day to travel to football practice.  The team and the coaches did not really need me, but I made a commitment and I needed to be there, and I wanted to be there.  

I finally got a promotion in another office and appropriately I found out while I was coaching in the summer of 2016.  I got married in 2017.  Then I got another promotion in 2018 while still coaching until the end of the year.  It's funny how I was able to advance my work career while working a completely different part time job on the side.  We had our first child and I knew my days of coaching were going to go on a long hiatus. 

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Jim Harbaugh immediately turned Michigan competent, but 2015 was not without vicious setbacks.  We attended the trouble with the snap Michigan St game, and the Ohio St blowout.  Honestly the Ohio St game was worse to be at, which should provide you with some context to why it would take me 8 years to return to the Big House after it.  

2016 Michigan was really good but could not stay healthy particularly at QB and OL.  The 2016 Ohio St is the most painful Michigan game I have ever watched and I hope nothing ever tops it.  It was also the last game I would ever get to watch with my grandfather making the memory even more painful.  

2017 Michigan wasn't good and even Jim Harbaugh's best offensive gameplan couldn't overcome the QB play by John O'Korn to beat Ohio St.  In 2018 Michigan was favored but got blown out by Ohio St, and 2019 Michigan was a dropped pass by Maryland against Ohio St away from winning the division before playing The Game, which once again ended in a blow out.  

The 2020 B1G season was cancelled then back on in abbreviated fashion due to Covid policies.  I was devastated when the season was cancelled and gained an even deeper appreciation for the sport when it was back on.  The 2020 Season, especially in hindsight was fairly hollow.  Michigan almost lost to Rutgers again and if they had, I think Harbaugh would have been fired.  Michigan then had the rest of their season cancelled due to Covid policies.  Ryan Day allegedly said they would have dropped a 100 on Michigan that year and yeah maybe.  If Ohio St blasted Michigan again in 2020, Harbaugh would have gotten fired. 

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November 27, 2021 is my favorite day of my life. 



When Hassan Haskins hurdles a fool, I finally let myself believe Michigan was going to do it.  Lucy wasn't able to pull the football in time this day.  We were going to have a third kid.  I will admit it is weird to have a football game, even The Game decide if you have another kid, but it is not insane.  We still gave it alot of thought but both thought it felt like an incredible sign and it was.  The moment shared collectively as a family is one I will never forget.  My son was only 14 months but was all smiles seemingly recognizing something awesome had happened and my daughter was hoping for a little sister.  My entire family had seen their first Michigan win over Ohio St together.  Michigan and my youngest daughter are forever linked and I absolutely love that.  Most people will think its dumb or ridiculous but let them.   

Jim Harbaugh is weird.  His detractors love to make fun of him for being weird like its a bad thing.  He has always struck me as genuine and a damn good football coach.  He got the opportunity to reset the program in 2021 that others with a lesser track record or no ties to Michigan probably would not have gotten.  He brought in his brother's coach to run the defense, fired an experienced OL coach for one who had never been one before and made the staff much younger.  It all worked and Jim Harbaugh's  Michigan was rolling as we all knew it would when he was hired.  Beating Ohio St was all we needed in 2021.   

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Up until 2020, I thought Michigan was going to win a national title again but even I the sports optimist was doubting it being possible.  Beating Ohio St again I knew would happen eventually, but winning a national championship in the playoff era is so incredibly difficult.  You have to recruit at the level Michigan does not recruit at or recruit well enough and have a stud QB.  Losing to Georgia in 2021 playoff was expected and acceptable.  Michigan getting back into playoffs in 2022 was immediately a longshot again the moment Blake Corum and Mike Morris were ruled out and Donavan Edwards entered The Game with a cast.  There was doubt again pregame, there was doubt in the game until Mike Sainistril knocked a touchdown out of Cade Stover's hands and Olu and Zinter paved the way for "The Don!"




So you believe again, like you always should have because Sports teach you so much about what is possible in life.  Down 17 in the 4th quarter, you can come back, I have seen it.  Job sucks and you are miserable, you can change it.  Working and coaching seems impossible, but you can do it if you want it bad enough.  Three kids when two is a challenge, you can do it together, and its worth it.  

2022 TCU was a disaster, Michigan bottled it.  My son was sick, throwing up in the 1st quarter and it really felt like an omen.  I really wasn't that upset though all things considered when Georgia beat Ohio St I could reflect on the season with admiration.  



2023 was the Year.  Even when its the Year, how often does it happen though?  2007 was the Year and Michigan lost to App St.  2023 felt different because a mega power did not appear to be out there.  You completely trusted this team.  JJ McCarthy seemed like the guy, almost everyone came back that could.  Ohio St was at home.  I thought Michigan was best team in the country and I expected them to run the table and get to the title game, but what could they actually win it all?  If not now, then when?

Two Burgers and a Zoom workout led to a three game Harbaugh suspension.  Everyone laughed and got over it, Michigan crushed everyone it was supposed to beat. Then the message board rumors originating on Bucknuts turned out to be somewhat true.  The Michigan and Harbaugh haters decreed Michigan cheaters, talked *, and wanted Harbaugh suspended and Michigan kicked out of the playoff.  Michigan had yet to play anyone of consequence on the season.  So Stallions is now gone and the program is under a microscope.  They beat Michigan St 49-0 at their place.  Harbaugh is suspended midflight on the way to Penn St and an injunction seems like it will come right up until game time, but it doesn't.  

BET! 

Michigan 24-15.  Ohio St is rumored to be at least partially responsible for Stallions saga coming to light and you would be a fool not to believe that.  And if it had to come to light, I'm glad it did when it did.  No more excuses for Ohio St or anyone Michigan played, plenty of time to change up.  Harbaugh suspended for The Game.  

With the end of the four team playoff era, the B1G expansion, and the change up to the title game, this was the final Ohio St game of this magnitude that would occur again in the regular season.  The stakes were as high as they had been for any game in the Big House since at least the 1997 Game.  

I was back at Michigan Stadium for the first time since 2015.  I could not miss it.  I am amazed at how little has changed on gamedays in eight years and think how special that is.  2021 and 2022 were about beating Ohio St.  2023 was about winning a National Championship so the feel is different.  Michigan is somewhat controlling the game until Ohio St goes on an impressive drive running the ball to make it 17-17 and after a big play Zinter goes down with a horrific injury.  The stadium is silent and everyone is thinking about the injury and how much harder the task for today and the future has gotten if Michigan wins.  Then a let's go Zak chant starts and builds until it feels like we are in a sports movie.  The next play, Corum rips off his best run of the year and scores from 22 yards out and throws up the 65 for Zak.  Holy shit! It's an incredible roller coaster ride but it once again feels like Michigan is going to win again right up until a debatable call goes Ohio St. way and they have the ball at Michigan 37 driving with a chance to win.  The pass rush gets home and Rod Moore calls game.  Catharsis! Ohio St has to shut up forever about Stallions.  This is my favorite game I have ever attended in person in any sport.  




Or at least it was.  I had never been to the Rose Bowl for a game before.  The parade was worth checking out and you don't need to get there early.  The walk is not easy to the stadium but once there you are transported back in time (not too dissimilar to Michigan Stadium), where its all about the game, the teams, the fans, and the bands.  The Rose Bowl delivered in every way imaginable.  Michigan was the better team on offense and defense but was uncharacteristically getting dismantled on special teams and found themselves down 20-13 with under 5 minutes left.  I found myself repeating what I said to Lou, when talking to my Dad and Brother that this was a huge narrative drive for Michigan almost trying to will a redux.  Then its 4th and 2 with the season on the line and "The Year" on the line against Nick Saban's Alabama.  I find myself begging please one time, I just want to win one fucking time.  Corum pops wide open as Michigan cleverly counters an earlier play.  Roman Wilson catches a tip pass that doesn't lose its spiral, then scores a TD later.  I immediately flash back to my State Semifinal game in high school where we would lose 20-19 after also uncharacteristically missing an extra point earlier and then fumbled the two point play for the win.  Michigan has to go for 2 but they don't.  Good snap, good hold, good kick.  In overtime Corum has two fantastic runs and gives Michigan the lead.  One time, please, one stop, please.




Michigan's DL which has been the best in college football all year comes up big again.  I squeeze the crap out of my brother who is glad he has been working out more for this moment. It's relief, euphoria, and gratefulness all in one.  To experience it in person is something I will always been thankful for, especially to my wife for allowing me to go with three kids.  




I thought Michigan was going to beat every team they played this season in pregame.  I can't say that about 2021 or 2022.  I was fairly confident Michigan was going to beat Washington but still concerned because their offense was the best Michigan had faced all year.  In the Rose Bowl you can appreciate being there, the build up, but in Houston it was all about getting to kickoff.  I go to this game alone because quite frankly its the most appropriate conclusion to this journey.  I also don't dare ask anyone to fork over the money for tickets that I did.  My fandom is my own, despite the immense support I receive from family and friends.  I look forward to going to games of consequence with my kids or whatever they are into.  This is the end of a long journey for not only Michigan, for college football, possibly Harbaugh, but for me at my peak fandom.  Michigan simply has to win it all.  

My favorite thing about going to a football game at this point is to see the game better than I can on TV.  All-22 vision, seeing Edwards warm up with QBs before Ohio St and think to myself he is throwing a pass today (he did!), and watching Michigan struggle with specials in the sun at the Rose Bowl in warmups.  I love watching the game with my own thoughts not being polluted by the broadcast.  There are tradeoffs where you can't beat the broadcast but I still think if your seats are good enough, you come out decidedly ahead.  So on both on Edward's long TD runs, I saw them happening before anyone watching at home.  Michigan looked like they might blow out Washington but then got too conservative on offense.  The defense was A+ outstanding and I watched Sainristil catch and run back the sealing interception right in front of me.  Corum took Michigan home from there and Michigan is undisputed National Champions!  Sports Fandom Valhalla!





I am tremendously grateful to this team and can cherish the moments and the buildup forever.  Many people will try to tell you sports are not that important, Fuck them.  Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.  My love for football pulled me out of depression, got me two promotions, and most importantly completed my family.  It makes me appreciate smaller moments in life and leaves me worrying less about the future.  





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