Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Sports Gives Life


You can debate the exact moment when Michigan Football bottomed out, but it was certainly in 2014.  For me it was losing to Rutgers (but covering the spread, which says alot) and looking poorly coached in the process.  The week before Brady Hoke left a clearly concussed Shane Morris in the Minnesota game (he should have never started over Devin Gardner in the first place), and the athletic director Dave Brandon fired off crazy emails to fans complaining such as "Quit Drinking and Go to Bed".  AD Brandon would be fired after the emails became public.  Hoke would get fired at year end.  

I was miserable and hated my boring job and was travelling overnight to towns long forgotten.  Michigan Football was one of my releases and it was failing.  There was no logistical way to make it work but I decided I had to try to coach football.  I was sure I couldn't be worse than what was going on at Michigan and maybe one day I could help.  I am not a great teacher but surely I wouldn't twice in one game have 10 players on specials against Rutgers.  I went to my supervisor and explained that I would travel anywhere they wanted as long as I was kept within driving distance from September to Thanksgiving so I could coach.  She couldn't guarantee it but promised to work with me and that the schedule looked promising to do it.  So in late 2014 I started coaching at my alma mater and more importantly Jim Harbaugh did at his.  

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was August 2021 and my wife was folding clothes as I was coming into the room and she half-joking/half-serious said "If Michigan beats Ohio St this year will you have a third kid?" I was completely serious when I said "deal" immediately.  It hadn't happened since 2011 when my whole family had attended the game in the Big House, and desperation was reaching critical mass with 2003 being the only other win this century.  My wife knew the odds weren't great, I suggested less than 10% given the 14.5 point spread at the time.  Every year I felt like Charlie Brown (Michigan) running at the football (Ohio St) only for Lucy to pull it away, at least my wife would join me in 2021.

Cade McNamara passed for 44 yards but Michigan dominated Washington on the ground and I thought about running towards that football.  Michigan looked different, but was it real?  The next week Michigan looked like it would blow out Rutgers but failed to score in the 2nd half and similar problems with the offense were festering again.  My Dad, brother, and I attended the game at Wisconsin the next week where Michigan jumped around in between the 3rd and 4th Quarter and won convincingly.  Michigan survived a weird one at Nebraska the following week setting up a top 10 shutdown against Michigan St.  Michigan would lose a brutal game to Kareem Walker and the Spartans.  I still felt good about the team though and hammered Fox Bet 14-1 for Michigan to win the B1G (Fox had really low limits for this).  My buddy Lou and I watched Michigan go down 17-14 at Penn St with under 6 minutes left despite clearly being the better team.  I turned and said how this was a huge narrative drive for the Harbaugh tenure and Michigan to get over a hurdle of can't win the big games.  Thankfully Erik All caught a crossing route and outran Penn St for 47 yards on a bum ankle for the go ahead score and Michigan would close it out.



I did not feel great about beating Ohio St.  They just went up on Michigan St 49-0 at half the week before (Walker was hurt and limited) and Ryan Day had carved up Michigan as OC and HC.  The line as 8.5 but with two wins in the century it felt higher.  Ohio St had an all time offense (47.2 on SP+ , #1) with three first round picks at WR (not including Marvin Harrison on the bench!) and top 2 pick at QB.  11-1 vs 11-1, everything was on the line again.  Lucy holds the football.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I loved being back on the high school football field.  Nothing can replace playing, but coaching still gives you a rush on gamedays.  Watching film and game planning especially on special teams brought me joy.  Work did not and I felt my supervisor and her supervisor were conspiring against me by sending me to State College, Indiana (PA), Berwick during football season.  There was plenty of other people to go in my place and I had held up my end by traveling often during the winter, spring, and summer.  It was an inflection point in life but it was immensely stressful.  I was done dealing with my bosses, I was tired of being depressed in Hazelton, PA with nothing to do after work.  I started applying for jobs and I had a ton of leave saved up so I used it to go on interviews, to take 3 hours off each day to travel to football practice.  The team and the coaches did not really need me, but I made a commitment and I needed to be there, and I wanted to be there.  

I finally got a promotion in another office and appropriately I found out while I was coaching in the summer of 2016.  I got married in 2017.  Then I got another promotion in 2018 while still coaching until the end of the year.  It's funny how I was able to advance my work career while working a completely different part time job on the side.  We had our first child and I knew my days of coaching were going to go on a long hiatus. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim Harbaugh immediately turned Michigan competent, but 2015 was not without vicious setbacks.  We attended the trouble with the snap Michigan St game, and the Ohio St blowout.  Honestly the Ohio St game was worse to be at, which should provide you with some context to why it would take me 8 years to return to the Big House after it.  

2016 Michigan was really good but could not stay healthy particularly at QB and OL.  The 2016 Ohio St is the most painful Michigan game I have ever watched and I hope nothing ever tops it.  It was also the last game I would ever get to watch with my grandfather making the memory even more painful.  

2017 Michigan wasn't good and even Jim Harbaugh's best offensive gameplan couldn't overcome the QB play by John O'Korn to beat Ohio St.  In 2018 Michigan was favored but got blown out by Ohio St, and 2019 Michigan was a dropped pass by Maryland against Ohio St away from winning the division before playing The Game, which once again ended in a blow out.  

The 2020 B1G season was cancelled then back on in abbreviated fashion due to Covid policies.  I was devastated when the season was cancelled and gained an even deeper appreciation for the sport when it was back on.  The 2020 Season, especially in hindsight was fairly hollow.  Michigan almost lost to Rutgers again and if they had, I think Harbaugh would have been fired.  Michigan then had the rest of their season cancelled due to Covid policies.  Ryan Day allegedly said they would have dropped a 100 on Michigan that year and yeah maybe.  If Ohio St blasted Michigan again in 2020, Harbaugh would have gotten fired. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 27, 2021 is my favorite day of my life. 



When Hassan Haskins hurdles a fool, I finally let myself believe Michigan was going to do it.  Lucy wasn't able to pull the football in time this day.  We were going to have a third kid.  I will admit it is weird to have a football game, even The Game decide if you have another kid, but it is not insane.  We still gave it alot of thought but both thought it felt like an incredible sign and it was.  The moment shared collectively as a family is one I will never forget.  My son was only 14 months but was all smiles seemingly recognizing something awesome had happened and my daughter was hoping for a little sister.  My entire family had seen their first Michigan win over Ohio St together.  Michigan and my youngest daughter are forever linked and I absolutely love that.  Most people will think its dumb or ridiculous but let them.   

Jim Harbaugh is weird.  His detractors love to make fun of him for being weird like its a bad thing.  He has always struck me as genuine and a damn good football coach.  He got the opportunity to reset the program in 2021 that others with a lesser track record or no ties to Michigan probably would not have gotten.  He brought in his brother's coach to run the defense, fired an experienced OL coach for one who had never been one before and made the staff much younger.  It all worked and Jim Harbaugh's  Michigan was rolling as we all knew it would when he was hired.  Beating Ohio St was all we needed in 2021.   

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Up until 2020, I thought Michigan was going to win a national title again but even I the sports optimist was doubting it being possible.  Beating Ohio St again I knew would happen eventually, but winning a national championship in the playoff era is so incredibly difficult.  You have to recruit at the level Michigan does not recruit at or recruit well enough and have a stud QB.  Losing to Georgia in 2021 playoff was expected and acceptable.  Michigan getting back into playoffs in 2022 was immediately a longshot again the moment Blake Corum and Mike Morris were ruled out and Donavan Edwards entered The Game with a cast.  There was doubt again pregame, there was doubt in the game until Mike Sainistril knocked a touchdown out of Cade Stover's hands and Olu and Zinter paved the way for "The Don!"




So you believe again, like you always should have because Sports teach you so much about what is possible in life.  Down 17 in the 4th quarter, you can come back, I have seen it.  Job sucks and you are miserable, you can change it.  Working and coaching seems impossible, but you can do it if you want it bad enough.  Three kids when two is a challenge, you can do it together, and its worth it.  

2022 TCU was a disaster, Michigan bottled it.  My son was sick, throwing up in the 1st quarter and it really felt like an omen.  I really wasn't that upset though all things considered when Georgia beat Ohio St I could reflect on the season with admiration.  



2023 was the Year.  Even when its the Year, how often does it happen though?  2007 was the Year and Michigan lost to App St.  2023 felt different because a mega power did not appear to be out there.  You completely trusted this team.  JJ McCarthy seemed like the guy, almost everyone came back that could.  Ohio St was at home.  I thought Michigan was best team in the country and I expected them to run the table and get to the title game, but what could they actually win it all?  If not now, then when?

Two Burgers and a Zoom workout led to a three game Harbaugh suspension.  Everyone laughed and got over it, Michigan crushed everyone it was supposed to beat. Then the message board rumors originating on Bucknuts turned out to be somewhat true.  The Michigan and Harbaugh haters decreed Michigan cheaters, talked *, and wanted Harbaugh suspended and Michigan kicked out of the playoff.  Michigan had yet to play anyone of consequence on the season.  So Stallions is now gone and the program is under a microscope.  They beat Michigan St 49-0 at their place.  Harbaugh is suspended midflight on the way to Penn St and an injunction seems like it will come right up until game time, but it doesn't.  

BET! 

Michigan 24-15.  Ohio St is rumored to be at least partially responsible for Stallions saga coming to light and you would be a fool not to believe that.  And if it had to come to light, I'm glad it did when it did.  No more excuses for Ohio St or anyone Michigan played, plenty of time to change up.  Harbaugh suspended for The Game.  

With the end of the four team playoff era, the B1G expansion, and the change up to the title game, this was the final Ohio St game of this magnitude that would occur again in the regular season.  The stakes were as high as they had been for any game in the Big House since at least the 1997 Game.  

I was back at Michigan Stadium for the first time since 2015.  I could not miss it.  I am amazed at how little has changed on gamedays in eight years and think how special that is.  2021 and 2022 were about beating Ohio St.  2023 was about winning a National Championship so the feel is different.  Michigan is somewhat controlling the game until Ohio St goes on an impressive drive running the ball to make it 17-17 and after a big play Zinter goes down with a horrific injury.  The stadium is silent and everyone is thinking about the injury and how much harder the task for today and the future has gotten if Michigan wins.  Then a let's go Zak chant starts and builds until it feels like we are in a sports movie.  The next play, Corum rips off his best run of the year and scores from 22 yards out and throws up the 65 for Zak.  Holy shit! It's an incredible roller coaster ride but it once again feels like Michigan is going to win again right up until a debatable call goes Ohio St. way and they have the ball at Michigan 37 driving with a chance to win.  The pass rush gets home and Rod Moore calls game.  Catharsis! Ohio St has to shut up forever about Stallions.  This is my favorite game I have ever attended in person in any sport.  




Or at least it was.  I had never been to the Rose Bowl for a game before.  The parade was worth checking out and you don't need to get there early.  The walk is not easy to the stadium but once there you are transported back in time (not too dissimilar to Michigan Stadium), where its all about the game, the teams, the fans, and the bands.  The Rose Bowl delivered in every way imaginable.  Michigan was the better team on offense and defense but was uncharacteristically getting dismantled on special teams and found themselves down 20-13 with under 5 minutes left.  I found myself repeating what I said to Lou, when talking to my Dad and Brother that this was a huge narrative drive for Michigan almost trying to will a redux.  Then its 4th and 2 with the season on the line and "The Year" on the line against Nick Saban's Alabama.  I find myself begging please one time, I just want to win one fucking time.  Corum pops wide open as Michigan cleverly counters an earlier play.  Roman Wilson catches a tip pass that doesn't lose its spiral, then scores a TD later.  I immediately flash back to my State Semifinal game in high school where we would lose 20-19 after also uncharacteristically missing an extra point earlier and then fumbled the two point play for the win.  Michigan has to go for 2 but they don't.  Good snap, good hold, good kick.  In overtime Corum has two fantastic runs and gives Michigan the lead.  One time, please, one stop, please.




Michigan's DL which has been the best in college football all year comes up big again.  I squeeze the crap out of my brother who is glad he has been working out more for this moment. It's relief, euphoria, and gratefulness all in one.  To experience it in person is something I will always been thankful for, especially to my wife for allowing me to go with three kids.  




I thought Michigan was going to beat every team they played this season in pregame.  I can't say that about 2021 or 2022.  I was fairly confident Michigan was going to beat Washington but still concerned because their offense was the best Michigan had faced all year.  In the Rose Bowl you can appreciate being there, the build up, but in Houston it was all about getting to kickoff.  I go to this game alone because quite frankly its the most appropriate conclusion to this journey.  I also don't dare ask anyone to fork over the money for tickets that I did.  My fandom is my own, despite the immense support I receive from family and friends.  I look forward to going to games of consequence with my kids or whatever they are into.  This is the end of a long journey for not only Michigan, for college football, possibly Harbaugh, but for me at my peak fandom.  Michigan simply has to win it all.  

My favorite thing about going to a football game at this point is to see the game better than I can on TV.  All-22 vision, seeing Edwards warm up with QBs before Ohio St and think to myself he is throwing a pass today (he did!), and watching Michigan struggle with specials in the sun at the Rose Bowl in warmups.  I love watching the game with my own thoughts not being polluted by the broadcast.  There are tradeoffs where you can't beat the broadcast but I still think if your seats are good enough, you come out decidedly ahead.  So on both on Edward's long TD runs, I saw them happening before anyone watching at home.  Michigan looked like they might blow out Washington but then got too conservative on offense.  The defense was A+ outstanding and I watched Sainristil catch and run back the sealing interception right in front of me.  Corum took Michigan home from there and Michigan is undisputed National Champions!  Sports Fandom Valhalla!





I am tremendously grateful to this team and can cherish the moments and the buildup forever.  Many people will try to tell you sports are not that important, Fuck them.  Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.  My love for football pulled me out of depression, got me two promotions, and most importantly completed my family.  It makes me appreciate smaller moments in life and leaves me worrying less about the future.  





Sunday, December 15, 2013

An Open Letter to Dallas Cowboys Ownership, Management, and Coaching Staff



Dear Jerry Jones, et al.,

Good evening.  I sit here on a brisk Sunday night, sipping an entirely-too-strong-for-a-Sunday Crown Royal and ginger ale, and I have you to thank.  Your team, which happens to be the one that I root for and have spent countless dollars and hours on, has just blown a 23-point halftime lead to the Green Bay Packers (sans Aaron Rodgers, mind you) and suffered its third one-point loss of this 2013 NFL season, and I have you to thank. Your team, your pride and joy, your medium for exhibiting every last ounce of your despicable and laughable hubris, now sits 7-7 and clutching frantically to its hopes of winning the dreadful division in which it has the good fortune of playing, and I have you to thank. Your exorbitantly talented team, with its salary cap strife and aging core, remains the picture of mediocrity that it has been over the past 6 seasons.  And I have you to thank.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?  I became a Cowboys fan at the beginning of the 1992 season.  My Dad has been a Cowboys fan for nearly 40 years and while the easy narrative would be to say I was brought up that way from the womb, it's not exactly true.  My earliest football memories are "we root against the Eagles."  That's basically all I knew until about age 6.  To provide a frame of reference, I spent the first 25 years of my life living in Southern New Jersey, never more than 25-30 minutes outside of Philadelphia.  Odd, you may say, that I grew up virtually in the shadow of Philly and was taught nothing but disdain for its football team from as early as I can remember.  But, as I always say in my own defense, spend enough time around Philadelphia Eagles fans, and you'll understand the incentive to root for someone, ANYONE else.  But being a Cowboys fan was not necessarily forced on me.

Dallas opened the 1992 season on Monday Night Football against the defending-champion Washington Redskins.  On the opening drive, the eventual #1 defense in the league promptly forced a 3-and-out and then blocked Washington's punt through the back of the end zone for a safety.  I remember getting out of the shower at one point later in the game (hey, I was 6...I showered when I was told to), and quickly getting dressed and running to the living room to see Kelvin Martin return a punt 79 yards for a touchdown to put the game on ice.  From that point, on the evening of September 7, 1992,  I was hooked.

From the kid a few months shy of his 7th birthday and about to start second grade that I was then, to the 28-year-old financial professional working in New York City that I am now, I've never wavered.  Granted, it sure helped that this franchise captured three Super Bowls in four seasons right as I started to become old enough to understand football and actually play the game myself.  But from 1992 on, during the months of August through January, I've devoted the vast majority of my emotional capital to this team.  I vividly remember the 1992 NFC Championship Game in San Francisco.  In 1993, my Dad took me down to Dallas for my 8th birthday, and I actually got to meet you. I sat in the 700 Level at dirty old Veterans Stadium on a freezing cold day on my 9th birthday in 1994 to watch Darren Woodson return an interception 94 yards for a touchdown to beat the Eagles. In those days, I thought the loss in the 1994 NFC Championship Game six weeks later to those same 49ers, in which Dallas fell down 21-0 in the first 8 minutes thanks to three turnovers, was as bad as it got.

The truth is, 1994 was merely a harbinger of what awaited.  1994, as you sure remember, was the first year that your Cowboys played under a head coach not named Jimmy Johnson.  No, not the race car driver - the other one. You know, the guy more responsible than anyone for taking the old and decrepit 3-13 team you bought from Bum Bright in early 1989 and turning into a young, fast, swarming 13-3 juggernaut of a World Champion within 47 months? And who, for good measure, went back and won a second Super Bowl immediately after that, despite you having your hand in his pocket and your mouth in his ear the whole season? Remember that guy?

I'm sure you do.  You couldn't stand the fact that Jimmy Johnson was hailed as the mastermind and you were considered the check-signer, despite the truth in it all.  After the two of you parted ways, you sought to it that if and when your team ever won again, it would have your fingerprints all over it.  Yes, you did win a third championship in 1995 with coach Barry Switzer, the first of several go-with-the-flow head coaches you have brought in since Johnson, but everyone with half a brain knows that that team won with your former Arkansas teammate's players.  But make no mistake, this team was now completely yours, and it showed. The number of off-field incidents, drug busts, and underachieving locker room malcontents, things you can look past when you win, all went up. The inmates were running the asylum, and this time most of the inmates weren't the best football players either.  Two years later your team was 6-10 and replaced Switzer with Chan Gailey, whose two early and unceremonious playoff exits brought about the Dave Campo Era, a three season, 15-33 stretch that saw the swan songs of Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and anyone else not named Larry Allen or Darren Woodson who had previously had a hand in winning you a Lombardi Trophy.

Oddly, I'm proud of the Dave Campo Era -. The Dave Campo Era is what I point to if ever called a frontrunner.  Dumb as I was, I justified it all to myself, "you have to stink for a while to pay for past success.  The stars got old and the team is in salary cap hell. I can handle this!" The day I broke my collarbone playing high school football, I refused to take any of the pain medication until late that night because the Cowboys were playing on Monday Night Football in Washington, and no way was going to risk falling asleep. Six days later, I sat in a dumpy South Jersey bar with sawdust on the floor, arm in a sling and barely able to dress myself from that freshly broken collarbone, to watch a game that featured the unquestioned highlight of the Dave Campo Era - George Teague knocking T.O. down on the star. Fittingly, it was a blowout loss.

Now, let me be fair.  You, Mr. Jones, are anything but a man who will stand around and abide losing.  So you had just the right phone number on speed dial to get a franchise turned around.  Bill Parcells put an immediate end to the Dave Campo Era in 2003 and promptly went 10-6 with an abysmal roster.  The Tuna drafted two future Hall of Famers in Jason Witten and DeMarcus Ware, cleaned out the dead wood, took on a project of a quarterback from Eastern Illinois, and had the team trending upward for the first time in a decade.  By 2006, the Cowboys were ready to make waves in a relatively weak NFC.

You know what's funny about the crushing Wild Card loss in Seattle that ended that 2006 season? It's only about the fourth or fifth worst loss in the past seven years.  Parcells' tenure ended after that game, because he'd had enough of working for you.  So there went the only other real head coach you've ever had. There went, for the second time, the man who'd taken your team from laughingstock to contender. But according to you, he was only brought in so you could ensure yourself your new stadium. More on that a little later.

Naturally, you brought in Wade Phillips, just the "by-golly, sure thing Boss" coach you wanted on your sideline. God bless him, but we all knew at the outset that Wade was the last person who should be brought in to pilot a team with Super Bowl aspirations. Stop me if you've seen this movie before, but Phillips took Parcells' roster in 2007, stocked with 13 Pro Bowlers, and went 13-3, only to get massively outcoached by Tom Coughlin and the Giants at home in the Divisional Playoffs.  You know what didn't help either, Mr. Jones?  The fact that you handed out NFC Championship Game tickets before that ill-fated divisional game.  2008 brought a team heavily favored to go the Super Bowl, only to go 9-7 and miss the playoffs thanks to a 44-6 obliteration by the Eagles in Week 17.

But you had bigger things on your mind, for 2009 would see the christening of Cowboys Stadium, a venue so magnificent, such a standing definition of the word "ostentatious," that it was almost immediately nicknamed JerryWorld. Having been one of your patrons to make a pilgrimage there, I must say the place is knocked out.  It's spectacular. Congratulations, Mr. Jones, because your stadium truly is a palace.  You know what else it is?  It is the #1 vacation destination for opposing fans in the NFL.  I'm sure you see it at every home game - an easy 25%, and sometimes an easy 40%, of the 90,000+ fans in the place are rooting AGAINST the Cowboys. Most weeks, the pageantry of the stadium renders your team's home-field advantage virtually nil, to the point where your home fans have to be reminded on your giant video board to be quiet when the Cowboys are on offense and to be loud when the opponent has the ball.  Your treasured stadium is sterile and embarrassing, all the way down to the air conditioning inside the place that must be stuck on the "MORGUE" setting.  How about this for a fun fact?  Twice in the past 3 seasons, a visiting team has come into Dallas and either tied or set the record for their franchise's biggest comeback win - Detroit in 2011 and Green Bay just this week.

The stadium befits the franchise - a high-profile, star-studded team that does incredibly many little things wrong.  Outside of a four-week stretch at the end of the 2009 season, which featured a win in New Orleans against the then-undefeated Saints and back-to-back revenge-drubbings of the Eagles in Week 17 and in the Wild Card round, your Cowboys have routinely failed to get out of their own way.  After Wade Phillips was mercifully dismissed in 2010, you made your hot shot alleged-genius and former Dallas backup quarterback Jason Garrett the head man.  It was a job he'd basically been assured of in early 2008, when you gave him $3 million a year to stay put as your offensive coordinator when Baltimore came calling trying to hire him as their head coach (that sound you hear is an enormous "THANK GOD" coming from central Maryland).

How many brutal losses has your Princeton clipboard caddy presided over as head coach?  2011, a year in which your team lost out on the NFC East in a win-or-go-home Week 17 game, brought a blown 14-point 4th quarter lead against the Jets, a blown 24-point lead at home against Detroit, a game in Arizona in which Garrett ICED HIS OWN KICKER, and a blown 12 point lead at home against the Giants the very next week.  Let me remind you that your team missed the playoffs by one game that year.  One game.

Nothing has changed since Garrett took over for Wade Phillips.  Your team is consistently near the top of the league in penalties, has a crippling lack of depth on both lines and in the linebacking corps, and has exhibited no killer instinct. Inability to overcome defensive injuries left the Cowboys out of the playoffs by one game again in 2012, and thanks to this latest abomination against Green Bay, they will be lucky to even make it into a third straight Week 17 de facto NFC East championship game.  Under Garrett, the coaching staff has time and again gotten away from what works in such a hurry that you'd think there was a rule limiting the amount of times you are able to run the ball in a game.  It is rare that coaches with seemingly such little grip on the flow of a game and such little ability to identify and attack an opponent's weakness get to keep their jobs for this long.

Here's the thing, Mr. Jones, and this is what it all boils down to.  I can handle the losing.  It's a part of life and a part of being a sports fan.  You can't enjoy the wins if you don't also get beaten down by the losses.  But it's the way it's all gone down that is irritating.  I've often said that if the Cowboys were simply a flat-out bad team, life would be easier.  Before you decided that you were going to run the show, the Cowboys were arguably the most consistently successful team in the post-merger era.  Since then, they have been a punchline, a joke, a 20-car pileup on the interstate.  Under your management, and under your hand-picked yes-man coaches, your team has invented ways to lose. It's one thing to feel like a loser, but it's another thing to feel like a sucker.  And that's what you've made your entire fan base out to be.  Suckers.  We're all suckers.  Your team is that hot girl in the bar who lets you buy her drinks all night only to tell you at 2 AM that she has a boyfriend.  Every Sunday I plant myself in front of my TV or on a bar stool, decked out in Cowboys gear and amped up for the game as if I were playing in it myself.  And more often than not, I saunter off afterwards wondering what it was all for.

And I have you to thank.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

60 Minutes 'til "See You in April"

In an odd twist, the Super Bowl hype hasn't been nearly as tiring as expected this year, despite the standard Eli/Peyton/Brady/Coughlin/Belichick/rematch/revenge/Gronkowski's ankle/Bibi Jones storylines still being beaten to a pulp. Somehow another football season has come and gone, and the only thing left to determine is who gets to hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy in Indianapolis. At the very least, we should be in for a close game, if not a very good game. After fighting with myself for two weeks over this, the pick is in....

NY Giants (+3) over New England
From a personal standpoint, I have a tough time rooting for the team who single-handedly eliminated mine. However, I would have an even tougher time rooting for a team based in the greater Boston area. Geographical and baseball-related loyalties aside, I truly think that from a football perspective this game is there for the Giants' taking. Overall they do more things well than the Patriots do, and their trio of Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham, and Victor Cruz can only be covered for so long by the patchwork New England defensive backfield. The Pats can try to blitz Eli Manning, but he is at his best when under pressure, something that the 49ers found out two weeks ago and the Patriots certainly know by now. Both of these teams make their living on the quick passing game and yards after the catch, which, in light of the way the rules are enforced in the league today, makes it no coincidence that they have each come this far. That being said, you wonder how much the Patriots truly lose due to Rob Gronkowski's high ankle sprain, considering that Aaron Hernandez and Wes Welker can easily catch 10 passes each without a healthy Gronkowski on the field. Both of these teams present matchup problems for the defense, but the difference lies in the Giants' ability to rush the passer without blitzing. If the Giants can rush four men and keep seven linebackers and defensive backs to cover Brady's receiving options, then this will be their day, yet again. Giants, 24-20.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Conference Championships

The beginning of the end of the football season has two fairly intriguing matchups, fortunately only accompanied by one week of speculation and hype. Savor it everyone, because after this weekend the football season is essentially over, since the Super Bowl and all it entails often leaves the game lost in the mix. On another note, after last week's 0-fer, I really suck. Home teams in CAPS.

NEW ENGLAND (-7) over Baltimore
I violated one of my biggest rules on Divisional weekend, and that is I bet with my heart and not with my head. While I really want the Ravens to pull this sucker out and leave all the Chowderheads out there counting down until April. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that the AFC Championship will play out this way. Had the Ravens not been facing TJ Yates last week, they could have easily lost their game to the Texans. While the New England defense won't present the challenge that Houston's did, I don't know that Joe Flacco and the Baltimore offense has enough (outside of Ray Rice) to expose the Pats' D to the extent that it is going to need to. On the other side of the ball, what more really needs to be said about Tom Brady and his treasure chest of targets? While the Ravens' aging defense still has plenty of punch to it, and I'd be shocked if New England throws up another 40-spot, I just think Brady, Wes Welker, Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, Deion Branch, etc. are too good. Patriots (with a grimace), 27-17.

NY Giants (+2.5) over SAN FRANCISCO
Another instance of having to overcome my biases and rooting interests. Last week I couldn't see past the fact that the Giants eliminated my own team, and picked against them even though my writeup on the game ended up outlining just how good a chance they had against Green Bay. The most interesting part of this game is that neither the Giants nor the 49ers will make the mistakes that played a large part in allowing both of them to advance last week. San Francisco tackles extremely well and plays a much more disciplined brand of defense than the Packers did. Can you imagine the 49ers having the type of breakdowns that led to both of the touchdowns scored by Hakeem Nicks at Lambeau? Neither can I. On the other end, Alex Smith brought the 49ers down the field twice in the last four minutes to overcome the Saints, thanks largely to New Orleans selling out on blitzes when it really wasn't necessary. The Giants have proved that they can get to your QB with their front four and don't need to get blitz-happy. So something has to give. And what will that be? Well, long story short, Eli Manning is too tough to bet against right now, especially if you figure the game to be close late. Top to bottom, the Giants are probably a little bit better of a team, so I'll take the better team and a few points any day. Giants, 24-20.

Last Week (avert your eyes): 0-4-0
Postseason: 2-6-0

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Divisional Weekend

The last great football weekend of the season brings a sad reality that the Winter Doldrums are lurking just a few weeks away. Until then, home teams in CAPS.

New Orleans (-3.5) over SAN FRANCISCO
I don't care that this game is outdoors. I don't care that this game is on grass. I don't care that the playing surface at Candlestick Park is often less than optimal. I don't care that the 49ers had a bye week. I don't care how good San Fran's defense is. I don't care how susceptible to the run the Saints' defense can be. The Saints are the better team in this game. If they were the typical dome team who can't run the ball or play in elements (although, for the record, 62 degrees and sunny in the Bay Area for game time), that would be one thing. But New Orleans can run the ball almost as well as they throw it, and you can't tell me the Saints are being held under 24 points in this game. You could line the '76 Steelers up against this Saints offense and they'd still manage to get into the mid-twenties. They'd probably even get 21 off of the '85 Bears. The 49ers have had a great year, but if they ask Alex Smith to match touchdowns with Drew Brees, that's just asking too much. Saints, 24-16.

Denver (+13.5) over NEW ENGLAND
It's Christ against the anti-Christ in Tim Tebow vs. Bill Belichick and the evil-machine Patriots. These teams met in Week 15 in Denver, a game that the Broncos controlled before turning the ball over to the Patriots and their automatic-30-point offense like it was a bodily function. The weather will be cold but clear in Foxborough, which should allow the Pats' passing game to operate cleanly, albeit against a sturdy Broncos defense that may keep New England from reaching their usual totals of points and yardage. No one in the world will expect the Denver offense to watch wits with that of New England, but the Patriots defense is beyond soft and will allow Tebow to do enough of the Lord's Work up and down the field the keep this game competitive. Patriots, 28-17.

BALTIMORE (-7.5) over Houston
The Texans have made their mark and won their opening playoff game, which is all anyone could have asked of them. Meanwhile, the Ravens, who are 8-0 at home this year, have been sitting back and licking their chops in preparation for this game. More than a touchdown is a lot of points to give up with a Baltimore team that doesn't score like the Saints, Patriots, or Packers do. However, Ray Rice should be able to find enough holes in the Houston defense, and as long as the Ravens merely play their game they should minimize any threat presented by the Texans. If the Ravens are meant to go anywhere at all this year, they win this game handily. Ravens, 20-10.

GREEN BAY (-7.5) over NY Giants
This was the toughest game of the week to make a selection on. The Giants have all the momentum you could possibly want, while the Packers have been the league's world-beaters all season. Much has been made of the Green Bay defense and its susceptibility to a pounding running game and big plays over the top. However, that only occurs when the Packers have a big lead or if the opponent has a lead that they are trying to grind out. I don't put too much stock into the layoff that Aaron Rodgers and his offense have had since clinching the NFC's top seed. What I do put stock into is the return of Greg Jennings to the Pack's already-lethal passing game. Eli Manning will get the ball down the field plenty to his deep WR corps, leaving it up to the Green Bay defense to force a mistake or two (paging Clay Matthews and Charles Woodson) in order to make the difference. Can the Giants come up with enough big plays on defense to keep themselves in the game? If their front four can get to Rodgers enough, then they certainly can. However, I think that the Packers will be ready for the challenge presented by the Giants' pass rush and will adjust their attack accordingly. Packers, 38-28.

Last Week: 2-2-0

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Wild Card Weekend

Arguably the year's best weekend of football, Wild Card Weekend never seems to fail. This year it gives us two very intriguing games and two other games that would be complete shockers if the underdog were to win outright. After 17 Weeks of regular season football that saw passing yards pile up more quickly than Greece's budget deficit, get used to see more of the same in the playoffs. Home teams in CAPS.

HOUSTON (-3.5) over Cincinnati
I can't believe I'm saying this, but the return of Wade Phillips to the Texans' sideline this week should be the difference maker. Ol' Wade takes back the reigns of the formidable Houston defense that he transformed this year, which should only make matters more difficult for Cincy rookie QB Andy Dalton facing a fired-up Reliant Stadium crowd in the franchise's first ever postseason game. Does that mean I'm picking T.J. Yates to win a playoff game? Well, all I'm doing is picking him to not lose it. Arian Foster and Andre Johnson should provide enough offense to keep this one out of the reach of the Bengals, who did not beat a winning team all season.

Detroit (+10.5) over NEW ORLEANS
The more I think about this pick, the less I like it. But I'm going with my gut here because the points, especially with the hook, are too many to pass up. Detroit's defense is something out of the original Tecmo Bowl video game - if you don't sack the quarterback, you're giving up a big play. Despite an embarrassing barrage of dirty plays and personal fouls, the Lions hung around with the Saints in the teams' Week 12 meeting, a game for which Ndamukong Suh had been suspended. It's no question whether or not the Saints will put up a ton of points, it's just a matter of how long the Lions will be able to get the ball downfield and keep up. My prediction is that the Saints settle for a few more field goals than normal, they score "only" 38 points, and the Lions add a late TD to make the final score 38-30.

Atlanta (+3) over NY GIANTS
Neither of these teams are great, but the Falcons are more consistent overall. Giants backers and media members keep conjuring up thoughts of 2007 - but what does that team have to do with this one? Well, the Giants do have a lethal pass rush, but their secondary is still very vulnerable down the field, which is where Tony Gonzalez, Julio Jones, and Roddy White will have to play key roles for Atlanta. The Falcons need to find a way to contain Victor Cruz in the open field and keep Hakeem Nicks from getting deep. It would go a long way for Atlanta if they can do so, because otherwise the Giants have, statistically, the worst rushing offense in the league. And before anyone gets all crazy about a dome team playing in winter weather, the forecast for this game is sunny and a relatively mild 45 degrees. Another note? Yes, day games, and especially daytime playoff games, are typically when the older, calmer set of Giants fans use their tickets, so don't be shocked if the Metlife Stadium crowd is less raucous then expected.

DENVER (+9) over Pittsburgh
Thanks to the overall ineptitude of the AFC West, CBS gets to broadcast another Tim Tebow game to all of America, and we get to wonder "is anyone going to score in this game?" The Steelers have Ben Roethlisberger banged up and now have Rashard Mendenhall on IR, plus they lose safety Ryan Clark for this game due to his sickle cell condition preventing him from playing at Denver's altitude. When Denver has the ball....well, we all know plenty about the trials and tribulations of that offense in the past two months. I highly doubt that the Broncos will pull this game out, but think their crowd can help keep them in it for a good while. 17 points will be plenty to win this one, but I just can't see the Steelers' defense allowing more than one touchdown drive to Tebow. Let's say a final of 17-10, with Pittsburgh winning a real black-and-blue matchup.

Last Week: 2-2-1
Regular Season: 36-42-7

Monday, January 2, 2012

Cinq Pour Samedi (Bowl Game Edition)

In what brings a merciful end to my 2011 NCAA season, the BCS Bowls and National Championship Game provide five intriguing matchups spread out over a week's time. As always, the games are played at neutral sites so there are no official "home" teams.

Wisconsin (+4.5) over Oregon (Rose Bowl)
In a classic Big Ten-Pac 10 (oh wait, it's now "B1G-Pac 12") matchup, it's all about the ground game. Also as you'd expect, it's Wisconsin who wants to run through you and Oregon who wants to run around you. Despite the big-play ability of Oregon, I think the Badgers can control the game with the fresh legs of their massive offensive linemen. On the other side of the ball, Oregon's defense is not the better of the two and they tend to have trouble stopping opponents when the game stays close late.

Oklahoma State (-4) over Stanford (Fiesta Bowl)
In what may be the most entertaining, if not the best, of all the big bowl games this season, the Cowboys look to make 2011 the year of "what might have been." while Andrew Luck makes his final dress rehearsal before he becomes the most mentioned name in all of sports this April. Picking a side in this game was simple - Oklahoma State just never stops scoring (in games played outside of Iowa, that is) and taking anything less than a full touchdown against them is not a bet I'd like to be a part of.

Michigan (-3) over Virginia Tech (Sugar Bowl)
In the game of borderline at-large BCS bids, the Wolverines present an interesting threat to the Hokies. Virginia Tech's only two losses this year have come to Clemson and dual-threat QB Tajh Boyd. Now let's ask ourselves, who is Michigan's top offensive player, what does he bring to the table, and isn't he even better overall than Boyd? That's right, Denard Robinson figures to give Frank Beamer's defense fits. There is a lot to like about Michigan's new-look defense and in an odd twist, Virginia Tech is now down to a third kicker for this game.

West Virginia (+3) over Clemson (Orange Bowl)
The Mountaineers, who bear the honor of "Tallest Midget" coming out of the Big East, meet a Clemson team that is as Jekyll-and-Hyde as they are. The Tigers backed into the ACC title by virtue of having Virginia Tech's number. Truth be told, this game is going to be very ugly and will most likely be the least watchable of the bunch. In that case, give me the points because I still think Clemson peaked about 8 weeks ago.

LSU (+1) over Alabama (BCS National Championship Game)
In the rematch that no one wanted but everyone is secretly looking forward to, SEC haters cringe as a sixth straight national champion will emerge from the conference. To be objective, this truly is a matchup of the two best teams, although the argument can be made that since LSU already beat Alabama in Tuscaloosa this year, why should they have to beat them again for the championship? Whether this game plays out like the 9-6 field goal fest from November or a more conventional, higher-scoring game, I think LSU is better equipped to handle either situation. Their defense is too strong and their offense just a bit more multi-faceted than that of Alabama. Let's hope for a dandy in the Superdome to close out the season.

Last Week: 3-2-0
Season: 31-37-2

Sunday, January 1, 2012

5 for Sunday

Week 17 has arrived, and with it my last half-ass column of the regular season. Due to no one wanting to stare at a computer screen and worsen their New Year's hangover (or a smart phone screen for that matter, but if you're reading this blog on your phone then may God seriously bless you), this week's picks will be explained in one sentence each. I promise that actual game handicaps will return for the playoffs starting next week. Home teams in CAPS.

Tennessee (-1) over HOUSTON
Because the Titans have something to play for and the Texans are merely trying not to further injure themselves.

San Francisco (-12.5) over ST. LOUIS
Because the Rams have tee times on their mind and the 49ers need to win to secure the #2 seed and a bye.

Detroit (+6.5) over GREEN BAY
Because Matt Flynn will start in place of Aaron Rodgers, and the Lions need to win to avoid a trip to New Orleans for Wild Card Weekend.

Kansas City (+2) over DENVER
Because if 2011 may have been the Year of Tebow, according to the Chinese, 2012 is the Year of the Neckbeard.

Dallas (+3) over NY GIANTS
Because despite the extreme lack of confidence that I have in the Cowboys, Felix Jones will benefit from what was essentially a week off in Week 16 and after watching the Giants bumble around with the Jets last week for 3 and a half quarters, I just cannot imagine Dallas losing to those two teams a combined three times in one season.

Last Week: 1-4-0
Season: 34-40-6

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

My Sports Moment of the Year 2011

Last year it was Goal Goal USA with Landon Donovan sending the United States to the top of the group and into the knockout stages of the World Cup.  This year its back to business as usual, Michigan.  However, its not the moment you might suspect. 

Michigan's first night game under the lights in Michigan Stadium produced agruably the most entertaining game of the year in college football.  Michigan came back from a 24-7 deficiet in the 4th quarter only to blow the lead with 30 seconds left, then Jeremy Gallon used his cloaking power up to disappear and set up a 22 yrd touchdown throw to Roy Roundtree to defeat Notre Dame.

Highlights

It was the best game I had witnessed live in my lifetime, but its still not the moment of the year.

No the sports moment of the year can only be reserved for ending the nearly 3,000 day drought to Ohio State.  When Courtney Avery intercepted Braxton Miller's 4th down pass to seal the game for Michigan I couldn't control my excitement.  I was uncontrolablly shaking my brother up and down and jumping around.  It was the kind of pure ephoria that only 7 straight defeats to your bitter rivals could produce.  Michigan finally became Michigan again. We slowly made our way onto the field to celebrate to commerate the moment and the best trip ever to Ann Arbor.

2011 Sports Moment of the Year: Michigan beats Ohio State - Zero Day in Ann Arbor

Other more national moments of the year:
-Derek Jeter hits 3,000 and goes 5 for 5 in Yankees win- Lou, myself, and half the readership took this in from the rightfield bleachers and it was probably the most excited I have ever been at an event where I had no rooting interest.

-The last day of the baseball regular season saw the Red Sox choke, and the Rays complete a wild comeback to go to the postseason

-Game 6 World Series-the Cardinals were down to their last strike twice and facing elimination but David Freeze was always there to save the day.

-Wisconsin and Michigan State played two classics this fall.  MSU beats Wisconsin on a Hail Mary then blows the Big Ten Championship on a roughing the punter penalty.

-Butler Pitt NCAA Tournament Second Round (Not calling it Third round)- Two inexplicaple fouls in the last 1.4 seconds saw a crazy finish and a worthy winner in Butler.

-Mavericks defeat Heat in NBA Finals- The Heat were expected to get it done, but instead it was the Mavs playing well late in games and capturing their first title.

There are plently more to mention, but I will allow you to mention your favorite in the comments.

Friday, December 23, 2011

5 for Sunday (Christmas Eve Edition)

Winter is officially here, fantasy leagues are in their championship weeks, everyone is hustling to get those last-minute gifts, and our Jewish friends everywhere are planning out their annual Chinese-food-and-movies day. What else? Oh yeah, it's Christmas, and the NFL has a full Sunday's slate of games taking place this Saturday, Christmas Eve. And since this is the season of bonuses (hopefully all of my fellow office-dwellers out there were made happy in that regard), I'll be comparing each game to a certain facet of the Christmas holiday. Home teams in CAPS.

NY JETS (-3) over NY Giants - Opening the Presents
Since this is part of the first set of games for Saturday, and is clearly the most hyped, the quadrennial (yeah I looked that word up) New York meeting has the clearest counterpart of all: the presents. People have been looking forward to this game since the schedule unveiling, and just like with Christmas presents, it will leave people either extremely delighted or terribly disappointed. The winner of this game stays alive in the playoff hunt, and the loser will be all but done. At the end of the day (CAUTION: Antrel Rolle tweak ahead), the Jets play very well at home and should have the favorable balance of the crowd on their side, while the Giants are three Cowboys mistakes away from being on a 6-game losing streak. The real difference is that the Jets are capable of ratcheting up a good defensive performance when they wake up on the right side of the bed, while the Giants don't have the bodies or the cohesiveness on defense to be trusted.

NEW ENGLAND (-9.5) over Miami - Reading Christmas Cards
You say this one's a formality, right? Well, it is. That's why this game is equivalent to reading Christmas cards. To be courteous, you have to read the card before opening the gifts, but 90% of the time you just glance at the thing for 12 seconds until you can attack the wrapping paper. And while in many cases people spend a good deal of time and effort picking out just the right card and writing just the right thing inside, there's no two ways around the fact that it's still a mere card. Similarly, the Dolphins will put up a solid effort in Foxboro, but the outcome will still boil down to the fact that the Patriots are a significantly better team who does not stop scoring. Close early, lopsided late.

Arizona (+4) over CINCINNATI - Spending Time with Family
You know how not every part of the holidays is full of fun? That's this game. It will very likely not be pretty between the Cards and Bengals, much like how you typically just have to grin and bear it through Christmas family gatherings. And how do you get through what can be several agonizing hours, or even several agonizing days? By doing the prudent thing - you say "please" and "thank you," you offer help when needed, and you try your absolute best at the small talk. How do you get through this ugly game between surging Arizona and boring Cincinnati? By taking the points, of course!

San Diego (+2.5) over DETROIT - 24 Hours of A Christmas Story
Some things about the holidays are so nicely tried and true that I honestly hope they never change. One of them is the fact that A Christmas Story gets run on TV for 24 hours in a row. Another December rite is the strong late-season play of the San Diego Chargers, who are so sadly stricken with Norv Turner Syndrome for the first three months of the season. Now that Philip Rivers is no longer an interception machine, it's irresistible to take the Bolts plus points against a team that they are at least even with, if not better than. I still don't buy the Lions and don't see another miraculous comeback materializing on Saturday.

NEW ORLEANS (-6.5) over Atlanta (Monday Night) - The Mall on Dec. 26th
There are some places that are just horrifying to try to invade. The Superdome on the night of a primetime game is one of them. Another one is the mall on the day after Christmas. Yet neither the Falcons (because they're in the same division) nor the average American gentile (because they never learn their lesson) can avoid this fate year after year. Expect the scoreboard to be lit up on Monday night (ever so conveniently for this analogy, the night after Christmas), but in the end the Saints have the quick-strike ability that the Falcons have yet to master. With Drew Brees just 305 yards away from breaking Dan Marino's single-season passing yardage record of 5,084 (which he very nearly broke in 2008), a Saints victory by something like 34-24 sounds about right.

Last Week: 3-2-0
Season: 33-36-6

Saturday, December 17, 2011

5 for Sunday (A Photo Essay)

Nobody wants to actually read during this time of year, what with all the shopping, wrapping, party-attending, imbibing and Christmas movie-watching that there is to be done. Plus, after last week, my words are about the equivalent of dog excrement on a computer screen, so this week will be a mere photo essay with one picture describing why I'm taking each game whatever way I'm taking it. Home teams in CAPS.

Dallas (-7) over TAMPA BAY (Saturday Night)









Green Bay (-13.5) over KANSAS CITY













Seattle (+3.5) over CHICAGO









Carolina (+6) over HOUSTON













DENVER (+7.5) over New England













Last Week: 0-4-1
Season: 30-34-6

Sunday, December 11, 2011

5 for Sunday

Well, that was fun while it lasted. Back to .500 on the nose heading into Week 14. Home teams in CAPS.

BALTIMORE (-16.5) over Indianapolis
In what is considered a pretty decent rivalry, would you be surprised if I told you that the Ravens haven't beaten Indy since 2001, a time span consisting of nine meetings between the teams? That streak is highly likely to end right here if the Ravens, who are undefeated at home, play to form. The Colts made things interesting late against the papier maché defense of the Patriots last week, but don't count on that happening in Baltimore this week. Last week was a fluke.

TENNESSEE (+3.5) over New Orleans
The Titans are coming on strong lately, thanks in large part to Chris Johnson's resurgence. The Saints do not play nearly as well on the road as they do at home, and despite their ability to run the ball, their type of game still does not translate to grass the way that it does to turf. I'll take a blind stab with the 3.5 at home for the Titans, because this is a team that is suddenly in the hunt and it could be a field goal game either way.

MIAMI (-3) over Philadelphia
The Dolphins are 4-8 getting better, while the Eagles are 4-8 getting worse. Mike Vick does come back this week, sparing drunk Eagles fans all over the Delaware Valley from passes like this. However, the return of the starting quarterback does not a victory guarantee, especially when the Eagles' defense has been putting on embarrassing displays of tackling for most of the season. The Dolphins are a team that nobody wants to play right now and the only thing they have in common with the team that started 0-7 is their uniforms.

Kansas City (+10.5) over NY JETS
I firmly believe the Jets will win this game, but they have way too many kinks in their offense for me to give up that many points with them. Give Kansas City some credit for the fight that they have shown in the past few weeks when they could have easily folded after losing Matt Cassel. The Chiefs play respectable defense, so I just don't think enough points will be scored in this one to justify anything but taking the underdog. Jets by a 17-10, 14-6 type score.

DENVER (-3) over Chicago
In what could have been the Jay Cutler Bowl, we're left with an early Christmas present instead. Wait a second - Tebowmania and a Broncos team with a ton of momentum is at home against a Bears team that is anemic with Caleb Hanie under center, and all you have to lay is the standard 3 points? Thank you, where do I sign? It's simple: don't kick to Devin Hester, and let God's QB sort things out in the last 5 minutes.

Last Week: 2-3-0
Season: 30-30-5

Saturday, December 3, 2011

5 for Sunday

Finally back over .500 after last week. I wanted to take Seattle plus the 3 at home against the Eagles on Thursday night, but I didn't get it in on time so it won't count. Home teams in CAPS.

Cincinnati (+6.5) over PITTSBURGH
When all is said and done, the Bengals just play close games. Do they have enough to win at the Big Ketchup Bottle in December? Maybe not. But I think they have enough to keep things close. The Steelers will not light up the scoreboard and Ben Roethlisberger is clearly not yet back to 100%, as anyone who saw last Sunday night's squeaker in Kansas City would attest. Now that Andy Dalton has A.J. Green back on the field, the Bengals might be able to take the shots against Pittsburgh's depleted secondary that the Chiefs weren't able to.

NEW ENGLAND (-20.5) over Indianapolis
If you needed any further reason to take the Patriots in this game, be advised that Dan Orlovsky is starting this game for the Colts. Moving on....

Tennessee (+2.5) over BUFFALO
The Bills had plenty of chances against the Jets last week, but Stevie Johnson spent more time orchestrating touchdown celebrations than catching the ball. Chris Johnson is seemingly back to being the Chris Johnson of 2009, which measures up favorably against the Bills' 4.5-ypc run defense. Simply put, Tennessee is a decent team and Buffalo is a fraud. Take the points and enjoy not watching this game.

Denver (+1.5) over MINNESOTA
Does Tebowmania continue? A lot of people are saying it will not, now that God's quarterback will be faced with the Metrodome. However, with Adrian Peterson ruled out again for the Vikings, I have no real reason to back a team that has lost 5 of 6 over a team that has won 5 of 6 and seems to have something supernatural on their side.

Green Bay (-6.5) over NY GIANTS
I guess there are people out there who have some blind faith that the Giants will just pull one out of their ass against the unquestioned best team in football. Those people must not have seen either of the Giants' past two games. It's not that I don't think the Giants have a good team. The Giants do have a good team. It's just that too many of those players who make up that "good team" are either injured or playing hurt (Ahmad Bradshaw, Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham, Justin Tuck, Michael Boley, and Osi Umenyiora just to name a few). Even if the December wind starts whipping around MetLife Stadium, you can't tell me that Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, on 10 days' rest, don't have another field day.

Last Week: 4-1-0
Season: 28-27-5

5 for Championship Weekend

1-4 last weekend after a very puzzling overturned replay decision in the Michigan game.  Good thing Michigan hung on or a some blood would be on my hands.  32-33 on the season in the race for .500.

All games Saturday

Conference USA Championship
Southern Miss @ Houston (-13.5) Noon ABC

The Cougars are one game away from the BCS.  Will they be distracted by impending departure of their head coach or will they keep rolling divisional foes?

Texas @ Baylor (-2.5) 3:30 ABC

Is this Mack Brown's swan song?  Rumors are he could be retiring.  Is RG3 banged up after last week?  Answers are probably and probably not respectively.  I am pulling for a Texas win hard but I think Baylor takes this one at home.

SEC/ National Championship
LSU (-13.5) vs. Georgia in the ATL 4 CBS

Georgia is on a roll as predicted with their soft conference schedule and the best QB in the SEC.  They have a shot against LSU and should be able to score in the high 20s but they will need to break 30 to have a shot in this one.  Georgia's defense is going to have to win this one.  Meanwhile if LSU wins this one they will have earned the National Championship in my view.  They will have one of the most impressive resumes in recent history and most importantly beat Bama in Bama.  Conversation over, fuck you Bama.

Big 12 defacto Championship

Oklahoma @ Oklahoma State (-3.5) 8 ABC

This is a straight toss up but I think OK State will snap their drought in this series and keep their faint title hopes alive.  Chances are this is one of the more entertaining games of the day.

B16 Ten Championship

Michigan State (+10) @ Wisconsin 8 FOX

I'm with Lou on this one.  How do you not like MSU +10 even if you think Wisconsin will win.  Wisconsin should be out for blood because they were o so close to a magical season stop by miracle plays surrendered in East Lansing and Columbus.  This game is sold out depsite what a brilliant Craigslist scheme had us believe.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Cinq Pour Samedi - Championship Weekend Edition

Championship Weekend should be the most anticipated slate of the pre-bowl season, but this year it is shaping up to be bit of a dud. Or are they? After all, the games aren't played on paper. (But who are we kidding, some of these matchups might really blow). Home teams in CAPS unless the game is at a neutral site.

OREGON (-31) over UCLA (Friday Night)
UCLA thought so highly of Rick Neuheisel's work in taking them to the Pac-12 Championship Game that they are letting him coach the game despite his dismissal this week. Yes, that was sarcasm. The truth is that the Bruins don't belong in this game, nor do they even belong on the same field as Oregon. But the rules are the rules, and the Ducks will have a nice chance to run some sprints down the Autzen Stadium sideline with the football in hand before giving way to their second-teamers at some point in the 4th quarter. You can't make this spread too big. You really can't.

LSU (-13.5) over Georgia (neutral site - Georgia Dome)
If this game weren't a quasi-home game for the Bulldogs, LSU would probably be a favorite by 16 or 17. That's no insult to Georgia, who has won 10 in a row and made everyone forget about Mark Richt supposedly being on the hot seat going into this season. LSU is just on another level. Their defense does not stop flying at you and the offense and special teams seem to take advantage of any little mistake their opponent makes. The Tigers have been put through the gauntlet this year and are still standing at 12-0. Expect a close game after two or three quarters (take Georgia for the halftime line, any of you gambling degenerates out there), but like they have against Arkansas and West Virginia, LSU will pull away late.

Virginia Tech (-7) over Clemson (neutral site - Bank of America Stadium)
These are not the same two teams that met on October 1st, which was a 23-3 win for Clemson. The Hokies have gotten stronger at the right time while the Tigers are, well, in the words of Dennis Green, "what we thought they were." Frankly, I don't see why this line is single digits. Another year, another ACC title won in Charlotte for Virginia Tech.

OKLAHOMA STATE (-3) over Oklahoma
Bedlam will most likely be the best game of the weekend, despite being merely a regular season game and not a conference title game. OK State has not beaten Oklahoma since 2002, and if they don't do it this year, then they may never do it. The Cowboys' sloppiness on offense against Iowa State will spell doom against Oklahoma if they repeat it. I don't think, however, that people put enough stock in the fact that Oklahoma State has just suffered the tragedy of another plane crash within its athletic department on the very day that they lost to Iowa State. This should sure be fun to watch however it unfolds, as the winner may very well be the last team to have the ball.

Michigan State (+10) over Wisconsin (neutral site - Lucas Oil Stadium)
Can anyone tell me why, at a neutral site, this line is this high? I know Wisconsin has appeared to return to its early-season form in the past few weeks, but 10 points? To a Michigan State team who is 10-2 themselves and happened to beat Wisconsin (albeit on a Hail Mary) earlier this season? I know that Wisconsin's running game resembles a fleet of bulldozers on the right day, but both of these teams play good enough defense to keep this game relatively low-scoring. I'll take the points all day and all night.

Last Week: 2-3-0
Season: 28-35-2

Saturday, November 26, 2011

5 for Sunday

A lot of big spreads out there this week, thanks to injuries accumulating throughout the league and the simple economics of betting against the several flat-out terrible teams in the NFL. From the looks of the remainder of Week 12, the best football of the weekend likely took place on Thursday. Home teams in CAPS.

NY JETS (-9.5) over Buffalo
Wait, both of these teams are 5-5? Could have fooled me. Ordinarily it would be insane to give up this many points with the Jets, but Buffalo is in an all-out free fall and now will be playing without Fred Jackson for the rest of the season. If Darrelle Revis locks up on Stevie Johnson, how will the Bills score at all? This is purely a bet against Buffalo, for whom the clock struck midnight three weeks ago.

ATLANTA (-9.5) over Minnesota
All you need to know about this game is that Adrian Peterson is doubtful with the high ankle sprain suffered in last week's loss to Oakland. I still don't think Atlanta is a very good team, but they are arguably an ill-advised 4th down call in overtime away from being on a 5-game winning streak, and their strong run defense figures to be even stronger without AP on the field for the Vikings. Fun fact? This is the seventh straight game that the Falcons have played in a dome.

Carolina (-3.5) over INDIANAPOLIS
It really says something when a 2-8 team is a 3.5 point favorite on the road, but that is the point that the 2011 Indianapolis Colts have reached. The Panthers jumped out to a big early lead on Detroit last week, only to blow it in giving up a total of 49 points. Should Carolina put up anything resembling the first half they played against the Lions, then you can turn the lights out on Indy once again. The Colts have not scored more than 10 points in a game since October 16.

Denver (+6) over SAN DIEGO















NEW ORLEANS (-7) over NY Giants (Monday Night)
I guess nobody ever woke the Giants up and told them how important their game against the Eagles was last week. Their offense was never in sync, their defense let Vince Young go on an 18-play drive to win the game, and Brandon Jacobs thought the result was a good opportunity to bad-mouth his team's fans. The Saints will have had 15 days of rest coming into this Monday Nighter in the Superdome, where they are 4-0 (straight up as well as ATS) this year. Should Ahmad Bradshaw miss yet another game for the Giants, their running game woes will only get worse.

Last Week: 1-3-1
Season: 24-26-5

Friday, November 25, 2011

Cinq Pour Samedi

Some of the biggest rivalries in the land will be renewed over the next few days, so if you can't get at least some enjoyment from college football this weekend, then you don't have a pulse. Either way, a hell of a weekend of football is ahead of us, and if we get games that are half as good as they were last week with the matchups on tap for this week, then we'll remember this weekend for a long time to come. Not to mention, we could be facing an excruciating BCS debate where the top 3 teams could all be from the SEC West. Home teams in CAPS.

Arkansas (+12.5) over LSU (Friday afternoon)
Tough to see the Tigers losing, but this seems like it's just too many points to give. Arkansas has gone almost unnoticed in its rise to the #3 ranking, and they have a chance to blow the BCS picture up completely with a win in Baton Rouge on Black Friday, just like the Darren McFadden/Felix Jones-led team did in 2007. Despite the overrated Bobby Petrino being the Razorbacks' coach, I like their chances of giving LSU all they can handle.

WEST VIRGINIA (-7) over Pittsburgh (Friday night)
Which Mountaineers team will show up? West Virginia has looked excellent at times this year, and less than pedestrian at other times. You have to think they come out swinging in the Backyard Brawl at home, but the money must have come in hard on Pitt this week since the line opened at 10.5. That opens my eye a bit, but West Virginia can be tough to stop on their fast track at home, so I'll grit my teeth and lay the points against a see-sawing, mediocre Pitt team.

MICHIGAN (-7.5) over Ohio State
Can the tables finally be turned this year? Michigan hasn't beaten Ohio State since 2003, but this year they boast the defense that has been, for the most part, sorely lacking over that 8-year drought. The Buckeyes are especially weak this year on offense, which isn't much of a surprise. Will this be close at halftime? Extremely likely. But eventually Ohio State will run out of solutions for the versatility of Michigan's offense, and once the Wolverines get up by 10 or more, you can say goodnight.

SOUTH CAROLINA (-3.5) over Clemson
Well, it was fun while it lasted for Clemson, who got beaten badly last week by NC State and seem light years away from their 8-0 start. South Carolina has handled things as well as team that kicked its quarterback off the team in Week 6 and lost its star running back in Week 7 could possibly handle things, thanks largely to their strong defense. We'll see if the book is truly out on Tajh Boyd, as the Gamecocks' defense is especially suffocating at home.

STANFORD (-7) over Notre Dame
I've been going back and forth on this game all week. Neither the Irish nor the Cardinal looked impressive last week in close victories over Boston College and Cal, respectively. Since I've done terribly with these late West Coast games this year, I thought of going against my gut and taking Notre Dame. But I can't shake the idea that this game is still the men vs. the boys. Has Notre Dame done anything to make you confident that they can travel out west and beat a team like Stanford, who will likely be in their last pre-Heisman showcase for Andrew Luck? Not helping matters for the Irish is last week's injury to RB Jonas Gray. Overall I don't think the Irish will have enough answers for the Stanford offense, to the tune of something like 35-21.

Last Week: 2-3-0
Season: 26-30-2

Thursday, November 24, 2011

5 for the Weekend

3-2 Last week puts me at 31-29 on the season.

Friday

Arkansas (+12.5) @ LSU 2:30 CBS

Well the majority of these games have been close and I'm betting that this one wont be different. Arkansas will battle for 4 quarters as they have so much to play for. LSU by 10.

Saturday

Alabama (-21) @ Auburn 3:30 CBS

Penn State (+15) @ Wisconsin

*****Lou pinch-hitting for Kevin here for the remainder of the column, as he is on a pilgrimage to Ann Arbor this weekend. I assure you that the remaining two picks are his.*****

Michigan (-8) over Ohio State

Virginia (+5) over Virginia Tech


Come on, you guys really didn't think he was taking OSU, did you?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

5 for Saturday

4-1 Last week and for the third consecutive week has put me above .500 for the first time all year.  28-27 on the season.

Nebraska @ Michigan (-2.5) Noon ESPN

Well these two teams are very evenly matched on paper.  Running QBs with questionable arms.  Some talent on both sides of the ball but little depth.  I feel like this game is a toss up and as a Michigan fan I badly want next weeks game more so I'll make that deal right now.  Take the home team when teams are evenly matched.  While both teams are unlikely to get a crack at the divisional title, they can put themselves on the cusp of a BCS game with two straight wins.

SMU @ Houston (-19.5) 3:30 FSN

College Gameday comes to Houston where they are selling out there third game of the season.

Kansas State (+9.5) @ Texas 8PM FX

Is Texas even better than Kansas State?  I might eat those words but I will take my chances with the spread at 9.5.  Bill Synder is a freaking genius and its remarkable how what he has done in his second stint at K State.  Mack Brown's squad is still struggling after last years debacle and are still a year away from being Texas again.

Oklahoma (-15.5) @ Baylor 8PM ABC/ESPN Gameplan

USC @ Oregon (-15.5) ABC/ESPN Gameplan

Saturday, November 19, 2011

5 for Sunday

After somehow pulling a winning week out of my you-know-where in Week 10, I'm back to .500 on the nose with seven weeks to go in the regular season. Not the prettiest slate of games scheduled for Week 11, but hey, play the hand you're dealt. Home teams in CAPS.

Carolina (+7) over DETROIT
Both of these teams threw up absolute turds last week, but I'm willing to give Carolina a pass for their loss to the Titans because Chris Johnson morphed back into Chris Johnson all of a sudden. After all, the Panthers aren't supposed to be very good. The Lions appear to be in free fall, and cannot keep Matthew Stafford or any of their running backs healthy for any extended period of time. It would make sense for Detroit to try to be very aggressive in getting after Cam Newton, but I think Newton's raw play-making ability may show itself if the Lions get too greedy on defense.

Dallas (-7.5) over WASHINGTON
So many things about this game are screaming at me to stay away, but there just aren't enough decent games this week to avoid my usual homer pick here. I really think this is too many points to give, especially when you see that the Cowboys have beaten the Redskins by 8 or more just once in their past ten meetings. But Dallas has been so tough to stop on offense in the past month (not counting the blowout at the hands of the Eagles in Week 8, where the Cowboys fell behind so quickly that their normal offense was moot) that an objective observer would figure them to have little problem taking care of business at FedEx Field. The Redskins seem to get worse every week and have now switched back to Rex Grossman at quarterback. That fact plus Washington's sore lack of receiving threats outside of TE Fred Davis makes you forget that Dallas is still missing its top cornerback in Mike Jenkins. If things go as they should, it will be another banner day for the rookie DeMarco Murray and the Cowboys improve to 6-4 without giving me a heart attack.

Cincinnati (+7) over BALTIMORE
Yankees radio play-by-play man John Sterling must love the Baltimore Ravens, because ya just can't predict them, Suzyn. How can a team that just got trounced by Seattle be 2-0 against Pittsburgh? When you look at the Ravens' last four games as a whole, huge red flags pop up about their offense. The Bengals are right in the thick of the AFC North race and played the Steelers very tough last week. One interesting note: that 24-17 loss to Pittsburgh was the Bengals' largest margin of defeat all year. Cincy is without AJ Green, but Baltimore will likely be playing sans Ray Lewis for the first time in four years. A full touchdown is just too many to lay with the Ravens right now, and the Bengals do tend to play close games so I'll take my chances plus the points.

GREEN BAY (-14) over Tampa Bay
Not that it really really matters because you can pencil Aaron Rodgers in for 350 yards and 3 touchdowns basically every week, but should Green Bay find any lack of smoothness at all in their passing game, they have the Bucs' miserable, 6.1-yards-per-carry run defense to feast upon. And Josh Freeman, who has hit bit of a wall this year for Tampa, won't be the one to expose the Packers defense enough to beat them. It's becoming a bit of a cop-out to simply take the Packers every week, but at this point how can you not? They're simply that good.

CHICAGO (-3.5) over San Diego
This line seems about 2 points too low - and God bless you if you were able to get it when it opened at 2.5. What could possibly possess someone to put money on the Chargers right now? Philip Rivers has been an interception machine this year, the team has lost 4 in a row, and now they must come east (again) to play in what may be less-than-ideal conditions in a late afternoon game at Soldier Field. The Bears have come on very strong in the past month and are still flying under the radar a bit thanks to the unstoppable Packers. Consider this game another nail in the coffin of Norv Turner's job.

Last Week : 3-2-0
Season: 23-23-4