Source: Jim Tressel Knew Osama's Location

Senator Jim Tressel knew where Osama Bin Laden was hiding but failed to report the information to the CIA.  Tressel denied having previous knowledge of the whereabouts of Bin Laden. 

"I have never met nor contacted Osama Bin Laden.  I had no previous knowledge of where he was hiding."

Previously Jim Tressel was caught lying to the NCAA about emailing and phoning the wrong people.  He had since upgraded to a courier service and was communitcating with Bin Laden.  At this time, the details of Tressel's relationship with Bin Laden are unknown.

An employee of the CIA spoke on the condition of anonimity.  "Coach Tressel has painted himself as a patriot but we now know this is not the case.  We have survalliance footage of Tressel with Osama Bin Laden's courier.  We have also uncovered a letter's at Osama's secret location from Jim Tressel.  It was a thank you note for all the money supplied to the program.  Tressel also incuded a photo of himself.  The photo showed a map tattoed to his back of Osama's location."

The Best Monday Ever

I was wearing my Clint Dempsey USA World Cup Jersey while watching the Phillies game with my roomates when Symon said Osama Bin Laden was dead and it took reading several reports to believe such wonderful news.  The United States Governement took the high road and gave Bin Laden a proper burial. I'm guessing there are some other things they wish they could have done to him.

Things we wished we could have done to Osama

• Mount Head on spike and put in National Mall
• Put Corpse at Ground Zero, allow families affected by 9/11 do as they please
• Keep him alive, tour him around the country to be beaten
• Force him to be on the set of Jersey Shore Season Four and have sex with Snooki
• Hang him from The Empire State Building
• Lock him in a room with Tim McCarver and force him to listen to old baseball stories
• Lock him in the Octagon with Brock Lesnar for 5 minutes

Carmen Sandiego and Waldo will meet for the belt.


 
If you want some more laughs head over to http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2011/5/2/2148672/national-anti-terrorism-championship#comments
They were heavily influential for this thread and material was borrowed from there.