Singular Sensations

Winning a championship is the ultimate achievement, no matter what level of what sport you're talking about. In professional and big-time college sports, players and coaches are exorbitantly compensated in the hopes that their ability and expertise can lead to the smorgasbord of confetti, trophy presentations from the commissioner, Queen songs being played on loop, and of course, the ring. If you get there, you're a king, a hero, a winner for all eternity. If you don't, well....not so much. What's interesting is that you can name a good deal of high-profile players and coaches who have gotten a ton of mileage out of one championship. If not for that championship, pretty much all of these guys would likely have a much different legacy.

1. Brett Favre - I hate to do it, but this list has to begin here. Brett Favre conquered some already-existing postseason demons when he led the Packers to victory in Super Bowl XXXI in January of 1997. Since then, he's been known as a World Champion. It was great for him, but not great for the rest of us, since the media uses that Super Bowl as an excuse to give him a pass for all the huge losses over which he has presided in the 13 years since. Just the following year, his 11.5-point favorite Packers were upended by Denver in Super Bowl XXXVII. "Brett" would go on to be, if not responsible for, then at least part of, the following moments:
-Green Bay's first ever playoff loss at Lambeau Field on a frigid Saturday night to a young Michael Vick and the Falcons in the 2002 Wild Card round
-A six-INT playoff loss to the Rams
-The worst interception ever thrown (in overtime, mind you) in the 2003 Divisional Playoffs in Philly, aka the "4th-and-26" game
-His last pass as a Green Bay Packer, which sent the Giants to Super Bowl XLII
-A 1-4 finish that cost the 2008 Jets a playoff spot
-The interception at the end of regulation in last year's NFC Championship Game

I rest my case.

2. Bill Cowher - He gets a ton of notoriety for his scowl, his facial expressions, and his impressively long 14-year tenure as head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Since he won Super Bowl XL (with the gigantic help from the zebras), the legend of Cowher has morphed way out of control. Of course, he can do no wrong from the comfort of the CBS studios, so his name comes up immediately with every NFL coaching vacancy. Conventional wisdom says he'd be the answer to a floundering franchise's problems. I say he lost four AFC Championship games at home in 11 seasons, and came within a Jim Harbaugh Hail Mary (skip to the 7:30 mark of the video) of losing five. In at least two of those games, he clearly had the better team ('94 vs. San Diego and '01 vs. an upstart New England team that had to bring Drew Bledsoe off the bench to finish the game). Let me be clear - I'm not saying Bill Cowher isn't and wasn't a very good coach, I'm just saying the common perception of him would be totally different if not for Super Bowl XL.

3. Joe Namath - Was he a magnificent thrower of the football? Yes. Did he change the landscape of the NFL forever when he guaranteed the biggest upset in football history to that point when the Jets beat the Colts in Super Bowl III? Yes. Did he win another playoff game after that Super Bowl? No. Did he throw 47 more interceptions than touchdowns in his career? Yes. And finally, did he want to kiss Suzy Kolber? Yes.

4. Mike Ditka - Let me first say that Ditka had arguably the best combination of a playing career and coaching career in NFL history. But similar to Favre, Mike Ditka won a title fairly early in his coaching career and seemingly got a pass for everything after that. Not only do many people give Buddy Ryan an equal amount of credit for the dominance of the 1985 Bears, but Ditka had a 2-5 playoff record in his subsequent years with Chicago, followed by a brutal 15-33 record in three seasons with the Saints where he doubled down on a 9 and got a 2 with Ricky Williams in the 1999 Draft. You wonder how even the Superfans would feel about him if it weren't for 1985.

5. Bobby Cox - He would probably be higher on the list if he managed in a more intense sports city, but I have a feeling Atlanta would still have all the love for Bobby Cox even if his Braves didn't capture the 1995 World Series. The 14 straight division titles are maybe the safest record of its kind, but only one championship in that span is rather underwhelming, especially when you consider how good some of those Braves teams were. A few of those losses you could live with - the 1991 Series vs. Minnesota was as good a matchup as you could find, and they ran into a buzzsaw against the Yankees in 1999. But if you're a Braves fan you really have to shake your head at the 1992 loss to Toronto, the 1996 loss to the Yankees, the 1997 and 1998 NLCS losses to Florida and San Diego, and the 2003 NLDS loss to the Cubs.

6. Peyton Manning - I was reluctant to put Manning on this list because he's still active, but you can't deny how many question marks would still surround him if not for the Super Bowl XLI win four years back. While he's possibly my favorite athlete out of anyone that doesn't play for a team I root for, Manning has a lot of postseason woes to his name. Granted, two losses were the direct fault of Mike Vanderjagt, but that doesn't erase the 41-0 Wild Card rout by the 2002 Jets, the consecutive drubbings in Foxboro the two years after that, the 2007 Divisional Round home loss to a Billy Volek-led Chargers team, and the pick-six to Tracy Porter in last year's Super Bowl. How much of any of that was his fault is debatable, but fortunately in this case the one Super Bowl rightfully puts to bed any doubt of Peyton Manning.

7. Lou Piniella - Sweet Lou was a clutch contributor to back-to-back World Series champions with the 1977 and 1978 Yankees. After becoming one of George Steinbrenner's many managerial victims in the 1980s, Piniella guided the 1990 Reds to a wire-to-wire first place finish and a sweep of Oakland in the World Series. After moving on to Seattle, Piniella's teams boasted one of the top lineups in baseball for nearly a decade but never made it past the ALCS, including the 116-win team in 2001 that got bounced by the Yankees in 5 games. By the end of Sweet Lou's run, which consisted of three woeful years in Tampa and two Division Series exits with the Cubs, his legacy was built just as much upon epic ejections as it was on being a good baseball man.

8. Steve Young - Given the task of replacing Joe Montana, Steve Young was in an almost impossible spot. What made it even worse was that Montana remained on the 49ers for two seasons while Young held the starting spot. Whenever he threw a pick or a bad incompletion, 49ers fans would begin the calls for Joe. Even after Montana was sent to Kansas City, it didn't get any better for Young, especially in the wake of consecutive NFC Championship losses to Dallas. When January of 1995 rolled around and Young finally got the 49ers past the Cowboys and delivered a record 6 TD passes against San Diego in Super Bowl XXIX, there was no more vindicated man in America. Winning that championship of his own allowed people to remember Steve Young as an MVP-type player and not merely the guy who came in for Joe Montana.

9. Eli Manning - This was a toss-up between Eli, A-Rod, and Albert Pujols, but there's too big a faction of people who will never give A-Rod a break and Albert Pujols doesn't really have doubters, so Eli Manning gets this spot due to the sheer size of his stage and his brother's shadow. During the Giants' 2007 regular season, Manning had a few terrible games that caused people to ask whether or not he was adopted. So to do what he did in winning three straight road playoff games and punctuate it with a victory over an 18-0 team in one of the three best Super Bowls ever played is nothing short of remarkable. And while he may never fully escape the identity of "Peyton's little brother," the venom from New York fans and media is likely gone forever.

10. Rick Pitino - This list has been limited to pro football and baseball partially because they are my two areas of expertise, but also because college sports create a different dynamic due to coaches constantly losing their top players to graduation and the pros. Rick Pitino has been all over the map, spending 6 seasons coaching the Knicks and Celtics in between taking three different NCAA programs to a total of five Final Fours. Ever since he was the Providence wonderboy in 1987, Pitino has been one of the most consistent winners at the college level, culminating in his 1996 National Championship with Kentucky. But there were some monumental losses with Kentucky along the way, followed by four horrendous seasons as Celtics coach that are most remembered for this tirade. It's easily conceivable that if 1996 didn't happen, Pitino would be labeled as a guy with a ton of talent at his disposal and relatively little to show for it. The debate should go deeper than that, but I promised myself I'd keep the Pitino section short enough that it could be read in 15 seconds.

In conclusion, I'll admit the list was put together rather hastily and off the top of my head, so if there are any people I omitted or included wrongfully, the floor is yours.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

It's the age-old question presented on a pretty regular basis to anyone under the age of 13. What do you want to be when you grow up? It's quite possibly the first real thought-provoking moment of a kid's life when he or she gives the question an honest answer. What do you want to be when you grow up? Ironically, in many ways the answer to the question does more to define the person you are at that instant than it does to define the person you will ultimately become. What do you want to be when you grow up? The answers to that question often define a generation. What do you want to be when you grow up? In post-WWII America the popular answer has gone from firefighter or policeman, to astronaut or President, to actor or ballplayer, to rock star or comedian. What do you want to be when you grow up? You find the answers to this question often without even asking it; all you need to do is look at the posters that line a kid's bedroom walls. What do you want to be when you grow up? In the '50s and '60s it was Mickey Mantle, JFK, and Jim Morrison. In the '70s and '80s it was Mick Jagger, Joe Montana, and Farrah Fawcett. In the '90s and '00s we had Michael Jordan, Britney Spears, and Mike Myers. But I wonder, who's tacked up on the bedroom walls of young people today? What do they want to be when they grow up?

Before I get too deep and/or nostalgic here, allow me to tell you what my point is. Look at the handful of names I threw out off the top of my head in the previous paragraph. All of those people were, at one point or another, at the top of the line in their professions. Not all of them were saints; in fact, many of them either had some questionable habits or found themselves immersed in some sort of controversy. But at the very least, they earned their keep. They did their jobs and did them extremely well. Compare that to today - how many people do we see being richly compensated for what frankly amounts to a job poorly done? And (this is slightly tongue-in-cheek), is it close to reaching the point where making a fortune for either doing nothing, or merely doing nothing well, becomes the new American dream?

It wouldn't shock me to hear kids today say "I want to be the CEO of a failing corporation when I grow up!" I'm writing this partially in light of the news that BP CEO Tony Hayward is headed out the door, and is still in line to collect the the equivalent of nearly $18 million in salary and pension. Funny thing is, the loot that Hayward will receive is a pittance compared to champs like ex-Merrill Lynch CEO Stan O'Neal ($161.5 million including securities and benefits as a thanks for driving Merrill straight into the teeth of the 2008 credit crunch) and ex-AIG boss Martin Sullivan (a package valued anywhere from $35 million to $60 million). The list of similar golden parachutes goes on and on. These guys make JaMarcus Russell (sorry Kevin) look like a lunch pail-toting, hard hat-wearing union laborer.

Although I could go on about the severances given to Wall Street bigwigs who did nothing but make bad decisions and lose money, we've all heard enough about it by now. It's not limited to inept CEO's and NFL draft busts. Remember Anucha Browne Sanders? If the name sounds familiar, it's because in 2007 she got over $11 million from the New York Knicks in a sexual harassment suit. Let me make it clear that I'm not condoning harassment of any kind, but still, being talked to inappropriately by Isaiah Thomas for a few years is not worth $11 million. Take also, for instance, the recent case in Sea Isle City, NJ, where a family was awarded over $500,000 from the police department alone in a racial-bias lawsuit involving the school's treatment of one of their children. I'm sorry, but unless the details of this case come to light and are shockingly beyond what they sound like, whatever happened can not be worth over half a million dollars. $100k I can see, but once you get into the $500k range you're likely going to cost several township employees their jobs so the lawsuit can be paid.

The maxim in this country used to be an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. More and more, the maxim is shifting to getting something for nothing, or at least getting way more than you deserve for doing relatively little. We're heading toward people's goal in life being to get paid handsomely to suck at their job, or to be somehow wronged by a well-heeled party that warrants a big lawsuit. So, I ask, what do you want to be when you grow up?

"Allergic? To dancing?"

I don't get it. I just do not get it. What is so much fun about dancing? And why does it become a seemingly involuntary activity when people go out? Don't get me wrong, being in a fraternity all 4 years in college with countless parties and mixers in my career, I've had more than my share of plastered fun on a dance floor. But that's a different animal. Everyone is out there for the same thing, to get as drunk as possible and hook up as often as you can (excuse me while I wipe away a tear of nostalgia), and sooner or later people are just going to start grinding all over each other. It's a four- or five-year vacation, depending on how you play your cards.

But let's take dancing at face value for a minute. You're moving your body around but not really going anywhere; you are in constant motion yet stay pretty much in the same spot on the floor. Why do people go so crazy about this? Why do we always see a bunch of girls at bars, evidently scorning men for the night and just going to town in their little circle there, acting like they just won the lottery? A theory behind that is they don't want to look too desperate so they're just going to dance "with my girls!" so it seems like they're having fun even if no males approach them that night (an outright lie). And on a side note, why do these groups of women way too often resemble a kickoff return team in terms of physical stature - i.e. there's one good looking one with a nice body (the returner) and 4-5 hulking behemoths around her (the blockers).

I'm not here to knock on dancing. I totally respect it as an art form and skill. And hey, if you've got it in the repertoire, then why not rock the hell out of it at the bar? But at the same time, oil painting is a skill and an art form, and I don't see people rocking their easels and canvasses when they go out on a Saturday night. When you get down to it, people like to dance in bars because they can get some dry humpage out of the deal, and then things go where they may. And that in itself is where the fun actually is - in getting attention or admiration from another person. Bouncing yourself around like a jackass is a means to that end for some people.

I suffer from acute White Man's Disease. Dancing is a skill that probably waved bye-bye to me sometime in the '80s. Even though you can take lessons and such, it doesn't make you "good," it just may elevate you to "doesn't suck." You're either born with the ability or you're not. So don't hold it against me if I don't see the enjoyment in dancing. It doesn't mean I don't like fun; it just means I'm self aware.

I find it funny when girls say "I can't be with a man who can't dance." Why does one particular skill become the deal breaker? You never hear a man say "I just can't be with a girl who can't hit a curveball." When you look at it that way, both statements are asinine, yet the former is somehow a belief that is accepted rather widely. Now I'd just love to meet the guy out there who keeps a wiffle ball set in his trunk and won't let a girl meet Mom unless she gets a piece of the ol' number 2. (Oh no, I think I just gave Matthew McConaughey a new movie idea.....)

"Thanks, I Appreciate It" - Part Two

To round out this latest miniseries (which is code for "I intended it to be one entry but got carried away writing the first part"), we take a gander at hollow gratitude, namely the phrase "I appreciate it."

Appreciation is a sentiment, unlike love or respect, that requires some sort of carried-out action in order to be more than just a word. When someone tells you they appreciate you or something you did for them, it doesn't mean a damn thing if the benefactor does not show their appreciation in some form. Sure, it may sincerely mean that the other person now thinks more highly of you, but since there is no "Kelley Blue Book" for people, that really does nothing for you. To borrow an investment term, paper gains are nice, but you're in it for the realized gains.

If your boss tells you, "hey, thanks for all that extra work you did to cover while we had people out sick this week, I really appreciate it," you just give a half smile and say "no problem, glad I could help, blah blah blah." But what you're really thinking is the boss had better remember times like this when annual reviews and bonuses roll around. It doesn't even have to be sizable. He could just say "hey, I really appreciate your extra work this week, why don't you take next Friday as a free vacation day, on me?" Sold! That's a tangible, low-cost (for the boss and company) method of showing gratitude, and can only help an employee's morale going forward.

Men are like dogs - we just want you to throw us a bone every once in a while and say "good boy, good boy." Ever see how happy a dog gets when he knows he's done something good and he's about to get a few slices of steak and a belly rub? It's all about the two-way street - the dog brings in the newspaper and gets his treat, making the owner happy and the dog happy, creating incentive for each party to do more of the same in the future. I'll use another human example before you get to thinking I'm trying to be an amateur Dog Whisperer.

Say you have a girlfriend and you choose to surprise her one day with flowers sent to her office (or better yet, waiting for her in her room when she gets home), a nice piece of jewelry, whatever. Your underlying hope is that she loves it and is floored by your level of consideration for her, leaving her wanting to reciprocate somehow - maybe tickets to a game, or that Mickey Mantle throwback you'd had your eye on lately. One hand washes the other - this cyclical action will go a long way in strengthening a relationship.

So when she says, "thank you, this is awesome, I really appreciate everything you do for me," she better not be bitching at you 12 hours later because the trash hasn't been taken out. Excuse me? You just said you appreciate everything he does for you, now you're bitching the first chance you get? You, darling, are a liar and do not truly appreciate anything. And you have just eliminated any incentive for your significant other to ever want to do something particularly nice for you again. If you were really appreciative you'd muscle up and take the trash out yourself, or at the very least, ask nicely if you want something done.

If you really wanted to be honest, you could have said "Thanks so much for everything, but I think so highly of myself that I feel that little trinkets like this are periodically necessary just to keep you out of the doghouse." At least then everyone would have a good understanding of each other.

So, in conclusion, thanks for reading, I appreciate it!

"Thanks, I Appreciate It" - Part One

I've spent plenty of time musing about the lack of etiquette (see the award-winning "License and Registration, Please" 3-part series) already, but now we must spend a minute on misplaced and/or phony efforts of gratitude.

Please please please stop the excessive use of "Thank You" at the office. I feel like I hear "thank you" and "thanks" so damn much during the day that it puts that circa-1999 Alanis Morissette song in my head (you know, the one with the piano background, the one where she went pseudo-nude in the music video and officially jumped the shark). I understand being courteous and all, but it's gone over the top. You don't need to thank me for simply doing my job - I get a paycheck deposited into my bank account every Friday that serves that purpose.

It's even at the point that I see a ton of people with "Thanks," preceding their default email signatures. So you're telling me that you find it necessary to thank someone every single time you send an email? Half the emails I send at work involve telling people how or why they've just screwed something up, followed by detailed backup and explicit instructions on how to unscrew the situation. You can bet your last dime those emails do not include the words "thank you" at the end, because I do not believe in thanking people for being inadequate and wasting my time.

Thanking people at every turn, regardless of the quality of their actions, is a fertility drug for mediocrity. It's like having "4th-place" or "Participant" ribbons hanging up on your wall as a kid, or your parents slapping onto the fridge a science test with a nice 80 on it. People should be thanked for exceeding expectations, not for going through the motions. Those who overuse phrases of gratitude are either way too easy to please, or they operate on autopilot and don't pay enough attention to what comes out of their mouth. But maybe I'm the weird one.

Do Yourself Favors

So many things in life hinge on preparation. An extra minute of thought can make a bigger difference than you'd imagine. We've heard the sayings "put your best foot forward" and "allow yourself to succeed" for years, but far too often we don't put those maxims into practice. It's not about trying your hardest or being dedicated, etc., but more about doing the little things to accentuate your strengths and suppress your weaknesses.

I admit that this post was spurred partially by the famous "gym, tanning, laundry" clip from Jersey Shore. Like him or not, Mike "The Situation" has a point there. If you want to feel at your best, then take the necessary actions to reach that point. If your confidence will be high because you feel pumped and fresh, then so be it. Do what you gotta do.

You can take so many measures to optimize your appearance that it bothers me to see people out in public that look like total shit. Your hair doesn't look good when it gets long? Get it cut on a regular basis. You're a few pounds overweight? Don't wear horizontal stripes (and get off the couch, but we'll try to stay on topic). You're below average height? Don't wear excessively baggy pants, they make you look shorter. You're very fair skinned, even in summer? Avoid too many dark colors that make you look even whiter. Finally, keep in mind that while image isn't everything, it's quite often the only thing. Like it or not, we all make unconscious snap judgments about other people based on how they appear to us, no matter the setting. So it never hurts to spend that extra minute in front of the mirror before leaving home.

It's not limited to appearance. If you're habitually late, set all your clocks and watches 5 minutes ahead. If you know tomorrow is going to be a very busy day at work, get there a half hour earlier than usual. If you don't like to dance or simply suck at it (my hand is raised), then don't try to meet girls on the dance floor of a bar or club.

It's simple. Figure out what you're good at and stick to it. Fortune favors the bold, but it also favors the smart.

Pillars of Meaningful Conversation

Have you ever been stuck in a conversation with someone (co-worker, relative, significant other, stranger you just met at a bar and now regret walking over to, etc.) and been so disinterested that you'd consider trading places with this guy just to get to hell out of there? I feel like I have been on the receiving end of entirely too many of these exchanges in recent years. Here are a few pitfalls that can make people sound like a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a yipping 9-lb terrier dog.

1. Understand if you are not interesting -- There is nothing wrong with being on the plain or boring side when it comes to personality. There really isn't. But if you can not recognize that you will not exactly be having Dos Equis commercials made about you anytime soon, then you are now committing a punishable social offense. There are a few interesting things about myself, and otherwise I'm not that exciting of a person. I can live with that. But does it get much worse than people who feel obligated to tell you, without being asked, about their trip to Florida last week, or how they cooked the crab legs they had for dinner the other night, or what time they get up in the morning? Oh wow, so you went on vacation to Florida and it was really warm, huh? You had martinis while lounging under a palm tree? Phenomenal! That is so great you brought that up, because 24 years of life and 16 years spent in school somehow earned me the ability to infer that it's warm in Florida and that makes for an enjoyable time more often than not. Now, if you met Jack Nicholson while you were on vacation, or you swam with dolphins, that is actually interesting. What you had for breakfast, however, is not interesting. Please learn that difference.

2. Talking about people you don't know -- You get this a lot with relatives telling you about their grandkids, who are your 5th cousins or whatever, and in that case you just have to feign interest and deal with it. Oh, so my 2nd cousin once removed whom I've met once and who lives 2000 miles away got a B in high school chemistry? Oh wow, I wonder what the going rates are for billboards, I gotta announce that shit to the world. This happens a lot on holidays and whatnot and usually there's some beer around and something on tv, so you can get through it.

When non-relatives do this, it is 20 times worse. You get this a lot with the self-important career types. I've never met your boss or these 9 co-workers you are talking about, so what significance does this rambling hold for me, your audience? Am I just supposed to be impressed because you had a conference call this morning with these faceless names about cc'ing people on emails? I have an ex-girlfriend (and if you're reading this, which I doubt, well, I don't care anyway) that once cornered John I for half an hour on this rant about how her parents loved her sister more than they loved her, blah blah blah blah blah, while John (who did not know any of the people she was bitching about) and I were trying to watch a baseball game. It got so bad I had to apologize to John afterward for subjecting him to such drivel. Even if he had known any of the people she were talking about, what could he possibly do about the situation? There was no meaning behind that 30 minutes' worth of hot air other than casting a lure for sympathy.

3. Complaining about everyday things -- We all have to deal with traffic. We all have to deal with the cold in the winter. When it rains, it rains on all of us. We all pay more than we'd like to for gas. None of us particularly like getting up for work in the morning or working long hours. We've all waited in a long airport line or had a train get delayed. SUCK IT UP. There are few larger turnoffs than a person who acts as if any sort of transgression or inconvenience that goes against them is the biggest catastrophe in the world. Just because the traffic light turned red on you does not mean that the transit authority has a vendetta against you. On the other hand, maybe they do, if they've ever heard you talk.

4. Overuse of superlatives -- I did not major in English, nor would I consider myself anything resembling a linguist. But what I do know is that the words in our language have stand-alone meanings intended for the efficiency of communication. For example, ever hear someone, often times a newscaster or other dim-wit, exclaim they are "absolutely amazed!" The word "amaze" and all its forms are superlatives - they stand alone. There are no separate levels or degrees of amazement, there is just amazement itself. Saying another word in front of it is a waste of time and of breath. There are other examples - "that was a very key play in this game," "I was totally shocked," "this pizza is so awesome!" "what an incredibly perfect throw!". Those who overuse superlatives or try to further pump up powerful words are often compensating for and/or navigating attention away from the fact that the rest of what they have to say is garbage.

So, until next time, just remember that just because something happened to YOU, does not necessarily make it engaging subject matter for other people.

License and Registration, Please - Part Three

The theme of this series of posts involves the uninformed and oblivious screwing with the time and money of the informed and focused. Thus far, we've looked at ineptitude in the gym and on the golf course, which directly screws with a man's time and indirectly screws with a man's money. In this final installment, we go where the action is, directly to the money - the casino floor.

A great thing about living in South Jersey is the proximity of Atlantic City, our own (very) miniature Las Vegas. While those from North Jersey, New York, Washington, Baltimore, etc. may have a trek of 2-3 hours or more to AC, many a South Jerseyan can make it to the bright lights within 50 minutes of backing out of the driveway. For a lot of us from this area, AC stands as the crown jewel of the 21-and-over life, something we drool over as 18-19-20 year olds like a dog staring at a steak. What beckons to us is not necessarily the bars and club scene, because once you hit college the party life becomes habit. No, I'm talking about gambling.

There's a reason that the gambling age is 21, and whether you believe it should be lowered to 18 is another issue. I don't have a problem with it being 21, because I want the population of gamblers on the floor at any given time to be as SMART as possible. I don't mean book smarts, I mean knowing a.) what their limits are, b.) what their surroundings are, and c.) WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE DOING. Towns like Atlantic City were built on the losses of those with clouded judgment. The casinos welcome you with open arms in anticipation of feeding you drinks and blinding you with visions of jackpot grandeur until your pockets are empty. Understand that going in.

Foremost, if you do not know the game you are playing, you are not only being reckless with your own money, you are being reckless with the money of others much of the time, and that can get you into trouble (or at the very least it will yield you the scorn of everyone around you). The first time I ever played in a casino was in Montréal at age 20 (legal age is 18 there), and I only played roulette (I know, soft) because I knew at least I'd be essentially playing a game independent of those at the same table as me. I was honest enough to admit I didn't know blackjack or craps well enough to deserve a spot at one of those tables. And to this day, I still don't know craps that well, so I have never put one red cent on a crap table. Part of that stems from seeing two acquainted friends nearly come to blows in Vegas over how to bet during a crap game.

But what I have come to know is blackjack, and blackjack possibly above all others is a team game. Everyone sitting at that table is playing against the dealer. And since every decision you make alters the card progression for the rest of the shoe, it is overwhelmingly imperative to know what the hell you are doing. It's not that hard. Spend an hour on hitorstand.net or read the Wikipedia article on blackjack and you'll know enough. There is a right way to play and a wrong way to play, and both are outlined pretty clearly.

John I and I recently won about $600 between us in just one shoe, largely because everyone was playing right. Playing right means hitting a 15 when the dealer shows an 8, even though you know you're probably busting. Even if you do bust, you have to take one for the team, not only because what goes around comes around, but because it perpetuates a mathematically proven winning strategy all the way around the table. For instance, if you chicken out on that 15, maybe the next card is a 10 or face and you do get to live a bit longer when hitting would have busted you. But now the guy next to you rightly hits his 14, gets the 10 you would have gotten, and he's busted. Then the guy next to him with the 10, he doubles down and gets a dog-crap 6. While you cross your fingers for the dealer to bust, she flips over a 10 on her 8 to give her an 18, and now everyone at the table has lost the hand, including you, and now both dudes to your left are giving you the Manning Face. Had you hit your 15 and busted, the guy next to you gets the 6 to give him 20 and the doubled-down guy after him is still in good shape with the next card coming. One decision takes the table from 0-3 to a likely 2-1 on the hand. I've seen it way too many times.

Obviously this case is hypothetical and could easily go the other way, but the two underlying themes are these: 1. karma comes back to you - play right and the cards will fall the way you want over a long enough time period; 2. not playing right screws with other people's money as well as your own. If you don't care so much about your money, that's your business, but I damn well care about mine, even if it's the money that I've deemed expendable enough to cash in for casino chips for an hour or two.

King for a Day

First of all I do not understand giving holidays for remembering a particular person. Columbus? By many accounts the guy was an asshole. However, I do not argue for the recall of these holidays because the working people deserve these days off. We just shouldn't hide them behind some person. Things get tricky after awhile when you start retiring too many numbers in athletics and while there are more options in the calendar eventually your playing with fire.
If Martin Luther King Jr. had not been gunned down would he have his own holiday? Again I'm not complaining because it usually comes in handy around my birthday but would he? It is debatable, but one thing is certain and that's that we would not have been observing the day so soon. King was killed in 1968 and had his holiday first celebrated in 1986.