Sunday, May 30, 2010

Robin Hood

I have pretty much covered everything that pisses me off, so I need to press on and discover new things that piss me off.  Typically, this can be achieved by purchasing a ticket to see pretty much any given new movie that the entertainment industry passes off as a quality product.  The Pacific is an excellent product (it's good because it's from HBO), and my review of it is incomplete, as I am more motivated about things I dislike than things that please me.  I was yet again duped into spending ten dollars of my hard earned money (and not to mention over 2 hours of my life) on viddying the new Robin Hood film starring Russell Crowe. What a dull movie this was.  What it lacked in crisp meaningful dialogue, it overly compensated for with sword fights, action, and a shallow romance.  As far as I am concerned, Mel Brooks' Robin Hood: Men in Tights is still the greatest Robin Hood movie ever made.  The latest attempt falls very short.
The dialogue was sparse, the shreds of humor were forced and ineffective, and the characters were uninteresting.  Robin Hood's sidekicks were particularly boring.   They had nothing interesting to say, never made me laugh, and as characters they were vacant.  Cate Blanchett carried her weight.  Max Von Sydow was about the only performer who delivered any sort of effort.
The plot was horribly predictable.  Braveheart is often imitated but never duplicated.  Robin Hood basically ripped off the plot and premise of Braveheart and made a lame effort of repackaging the movie to the public.  Russell Crowe's character becomes an outlaw, steals from the rich, defends against an invasion, has awkward romance, kills his nemesis and blah blah blah.  Essentially, the film turned into a politically charged movie that bashes America and capitalism.  The movie ends with Robin Hood establishing a hippy commune in the woods with Maid Marian.  I want my money back.  My advice to those considering seeing Robin Hood is to save your money, stay home, and put your Braveheart DVD into your state of the art home entertainment system.  Braveheart has basically the same plot and premise but the film was executed with much more depth.  Take my word for it.

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