Thursday, February 10, 2011

Guinness Isn't Heavy

After about 8 years careful research, I have come to the conclusion that Guinness is my favorite beer. This was not an easy decision to arrive at. It's like forcing a parent to proclaim which child is their favorite. Bros don't like Guinness. This isn't your older brother's Natty Ice. Guinness isn't some sort of generic light beer. The Guinness drinker is a certain kind of man. If the Guinness drinker happens to be a woman, get yourself in there. Guinness is the grilled chicken breast of beer. If Jack LaLanne drank Guinness, he would still be alive. Too soon for a Jack LaLanne joke? Doesn't matter, he would want us to drink Guinness. Who is the Guinness drinker?

The Guinness drinker doesn't wear a winter hat in July, nor does he wear a backpack anywhere. Those who drink Guinness don't do so because Guinness is from Ireland. They simply drink Guinness because of it's greatness. Also, those who partake in Guinness consumption are not necessarily of Irish descent. Additionally, a tattoo of the Fighting Irish leprechaun on your calf is not a prerequisite to ordering a pint of Guinness.

Please understand that Guinness isn't heavy. Sugary girly drinks are heavy. Margaritas and White Russians are heavy. White Russians from The Taproom in Haddon Twp are particularly heavy. A pint of Guinness (16 oz.) contains 125 calories. A 1.5 oz. Margarita packs 185 calories. "But, Guinness makes me feel full". Give me a break.

1 comment:

  1. if you think grilled chicken is better than breaded chicken youre just kidding yourself ... or youre a fag.

    -Billy Mumphry