The Gameplan After Hooking Up

First off all let me straighten something out.  Hooking up means making out, it does not mean having sex, please stop making this mistake in the future.  Moving on here is your playcard after making out with someone and your steps to following up.

Met at the bar and made out there
Don't count on much progressing from this if you actually dig the girl.  This is something I have done in the past but don't plan on doing again.  Everyone sees what your doing and it makes you look bad unless the girl is really hot.  You can give people the wrong idea about what your all about.  Anyways, if you get here number try to follow up but this is likely let it be and move on. No phone number exchange is required here.

Met at the bar made out at either or your places
Girls love to just make out but it can be boring if it doesn't progress after awhile.  If nothing progresses its best to part ways on the night unless you are kinda stuck without a way home.  Sometimes its okay to tread softly and build slowly.  Personally I will always follow up in this case if I ask for the girls number.  Phone number exchange probable.

Met at the bar, stayed the night
You seem more committed at this point.  You hung out all night and woke up next to each other.  It's kind of hard to not have any follow up her from either side.  On paper this should lead to seeing each other again so long as you are not saying what did I do?

Your Friend of Friend and Will See Each Other Again
This is a tricky one and hopefully you thought this one out before you proceeded.  If your not interested and got with them once communicate it to her and come clean.  If its an ongoing thing that's casual make sure you two are on the same page.  You should always be considering your surrounding friends in these cases. If you are really into the girl, then still tread carefully and slowly it will be more rewarding in the end.

Who asked for who's number?  This is one of the few times I will defend the opposite sex.  Generally speaking if a guy wants your number he will ask for it.  If he knows he is going to see you again though it might be in his best interest to wait it out.  When girls offer the number first it can shift the balance of power to the guy.  I won't say it makes you look desperate because it doesn't.  However, it tends to make you seem like the one more interested.  But thanks for taking the pressure off.  When I ask for the girls number, I call or text.  If you stick it into my phone or force me to take your number and force me to say I will call,  your asking to sign a contract under duress.  If I want the number I will ask and if I voluntarily say I will call or text I mean it and most people probably do.

How Important is the Approval of Your Friends?

When you meet a new girl its common to ask for the approval of your friends. Can they get along with your friends? Do they handle themselves well in a group? The friends are a litmus test to see if the guy or girl you have been seeing is as cool as you think they are. Girls want to know if their friends think their new man is hot. For guys its the same. Your friends can provide a stamp of approval.

If your blinded by the fact that your getting laid and can't see the big picture your friends can help you out.  They are not getting the action so they can provide an unclouded judgement of the situation.  If your in a relationship and you want your friends advice, you need to open the door for it.  Most people will not come out and say so and so is a bitch at risk of damaging the friendship.  Ask what do you think of her and you will likely receive a canned answer to some degree.  The friend still is unlikely tell you his true feelings.  Tell him considering breaking up with her and the friend will likely step in an give his honest assessment while covering his ass if she comes back.

For some reason I seek the approval of my friends for not just how a girl may act but how she looks.  As if it mattered because they aren't making out with her.  I puzzle myself with this, but I want to know that I'm not the only one who finds the girl attractive.  The judging of her character is something I can figure out, but even still you want your friends to say she's cool. And I mean the exact phrase "she's cool", because that's what I always hear or say when someone is approved.

Your girlfriend or boyfriend are battling for the same hang out time as your long time friends. Except they can offer you an orgasm that your friends cannot.  So the friends may naturally feel slighted at times.  You and your new special friend have to try to smooth things over.  Hang out together and all but don't always be attached the hip.  You can't have the same conversations with a girlfriend in toe.  That would be like expecting me to act the same way in front of my parents as I do in front of my friends.

If you listen to your friends all the time you will inevitably be single. You should trust your own thoughts and feelings above all else. Its understandable to give in to the girlfriend more than your friends.  Usually they won't go anywhere.  However, your happiness in the long run is key, and if this means ditching the boyfriend or girlfriend everywhere once in awhile then do it.  They can survive a few nights by themselves.  Not everynight is a need to hang out night.  When your girlfriend or boyfriend needs you, trump your friends. When its not a pertinent event though, have your friends back if its and important event.

Finally this blog post is all over the place.  This is part of the reason it has been sitting in the que since March.  Perhaps that shows how complicated this stuff can be, and how much more complicated it gets when your free time shrinks.

Still In Frame

She is on your mind whether you cared about her or not. The girls that you bang or blow your chance with can haunt you. It doesn't even matter if you found the next one, there is always "what if" or man it would be great to see that rack again. The girls we let go, or the ones that let go of us, remain on your mind. It's not baggage, but rather a memory. 

We've all had girls that we cared deeply about at one time or another.  They are a part of your past and experienced your maturation as a person.  You may regret breaking up with them, you may not, but either way they will slip into your mind.  Then there are the girls that you didn't really care about but had enough fun with to hang out with a few times.  She resurfaces because she does something really well.  Either she does that thing with her tounge, but you can't bring her home to your parents or she's increadibly cool but your not that into her. Finally there is the one that got away.

She liked you but you were in a relationship at the time. You liked her but were too chicken to make your move. She was in a relationship and came onto you but your morals stepped in the way (pussy), or whatever other reason.  These issues are likely to foster a crush on the other individual for quite some time.  We want what we can't have.  We torture ourselves over a chance to atone for the missed opportunity.  Whether its your objective to just to get in there, or whether its to sign a multi-year deal, it remains on your mind.  She stays in frame. 

The thoughts are hard to let go because its hard to keep your thoughts on just one person.  You find some flaws with the one your with.  You wonder what Stacy is up to because she never complained about you watching sports.  Or you think man is Kelly great, but the sex was better with Lauren. It's natural because its hard to focus on one person.  And its even harder to completely let go of the past.

The bottom line is she's gone.  Let it go and enjoy what you have now.   It's easier to give your own advice than follow it though.