Wednesday, July 7, 2010

How Important is the Approval of Your Friends?

When you meet a new girl its common to ask for the approval of your friends. Can they get along with your friends? Do they handle themselves well in a group? The friends are a litmus test to see if the guy or girl you have been seeing is as cool as you think they are. Girls want to know if their friends think their new man is hot. For guys its the same. Your friends can provide a stamp of approval.

If your blinded by the fact that your getting laid and can't see the big picture your friends can help you out.  They are not getting the action so they can provide an unclouded judgement of the situation.  If your in a relationship and you want your friends advice, you need to open the door for it.  Most people will not come out and say so and so is a bitch at risk of damaging the friendship.  Ask what do you think of her and you will likely receive a canned answer to some degree.  The friend still is unlikely tell you his true feelings.  Tell him considering breaking up with her and the friend will likely step in an give his honest assessment while covering his ass if she comes back.

For some reason I seek the approval of my friends for not just how a girl may act but how she looks.  As if it mattered because they aren't making out with her.  I puzzle myself with this, but I want to know that I'm not the only one who finds the girl attractive.  The judging of her character is something I can figure out, but even still you want your friends to say she's cool. And I mean the exact phrase "she's cool", because that's what I always hear or say when someone is approved.

Your girlfriend or boyfriend are battling for the same hang out time as your long time friends. Except they can offer you an orgasm that your friends cannot.  So the friends may naturally feel slighted at times.  You and your new special friend have to try to smooth things over.  Hang out together and all but don't always be attached the hip.  You can't have the same conversations with a girlfriend in toe.  That would be like expecting me to act the same way in front of my parents as I do in front of my friends.

If you listen to your friends all the time you will inevitably be single. You should trust your own thoughts and feelings above all else. Its understandable to give in to the girlfriend more than your friends.  Usually they won't go anywhere.  However, your happiness in the long run is key, and if this means ditching the boyfriend or girlfriend everywhere once in awhile then do it.  They can survive a few nights by themselves.  Not everynight is a need to hang out night.  When your girlfriend or boyfriend needs you, trump your friends. When its not a pertinent event though, have your friends back if its and important event.

Finally this blog post is all over the place.  This is part of the reason it has been sitting in the que since March.  Perhaps that shows how complicated this stuff can be, and how much more complicated it gets when your free time shrinks.

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