5 for Sunday

A pretty ugly Week 12 on hand, with only two games this Sunday (Atlanta-Green Bay and San Diego-Indy) that are actually worth watching without something riding on it. Home teams in CAPS.

Jacksonville (+7) over NY GIANTS
Maybe the Jaguars don't get enough credit, or maybe they enjoy relative obscurity. We'll find out at 1:00 at the New Meadowlands, where the Giants are now without their top two receivers (Steve Smith and Hakeem Nicks) as well as possibly three starters on the offensive line. Jacksonville has won 3 in a row while the Giants' two-game losing streak has people mentioning last year's second half nose-dive. I think the home team finds a way to end the skid but the Jags' chances of keeping this close are pretty good.

ATLANTA (-2) over Green Bay
Let's please put the Packers love fest on hold until they play a team that isn't dead in the water, unlike either of their past two games. The critical matchup in this game is the Atlanta rushing attack vs. Green Bay's surging defense, as the Falcons would do well to pound it with Michael Turner and Chris Snelling to eat up clock and keep Greg Jennings and annoying new media darling Aaron Rodgers on the sidelines. Tony Gonzalez might have to have a big day when Atlanta does pass, if Charles Woodson sticks on Roddy White as expected. The Falcons are 5-0 at home this year and something like 18-1 at the Georgia Dome in games started by Matt Ryan.

Carolina (+9.5) over CLEVELAND
My new "just go against Carolina" rule was not instituted with Jake Delhomme in mind. With Delhomme getting the start for the Browns against his old team, 9.5 is just entirely too many points to give, even with the Browns having put together a few respectable weeks. The Panthers themselves have actually been more competitive over the past two games than the scores would suggest, and may be getting Jonathan Stewart back this week. I'll take a flier on the 9.5 points here.

OAKLAND (-2.5) over Miami
I'm going to the well with the Raiders one more time. Miami comes into the Black Hole down to their third quarterback and playing with about half of an offensive line. Considering that Oakland is 4-1 at home this year I'm a bit surprised that the line is just 2.5, but that may be in light of the 35-3 beating they took in Pittsburgh last week. I think Miami's best football is behind them this year unless they find a way to run the ball well again.

St. Louis (+3.5) over DENVER
The Broncos' defense looked miserable in San Diego last Monday night, and they won't have a ton of fun having to tackle Steven Jackson, who continues to run like a cannonball and must be breathing some really fresh air now that his team is a respectable 4-6. The Broncos have lost 5 out of 6 and padded their offensive stats immensely two weeks ago vs. the Chiefs. This has a chance to be a moment of arrival for Steve Spagnuolo's team, as it's been a while since the Rams have gone into a traditionally tough place to play like Denver and put up a great effort. Give me the 3.5 in what has a good chance to be a field goal game either way.

Last Week: 3-2-0
Season: 28-25-2

Cinq Pour Samedi

Insert over-used "Thanksgiving Football Feast" cliché here. In all truthfulness, however, this pretty much the week we've all been waiting for when it comes to college football. Fortunately, the best games of the bunch are split between Friday and Saturday for our ease in consumption. Home teams in CAPS.

West Virginia (+3) over PITTSBURGH (Friday)
The Mountaineers actually come into this year's Backyard Brawl with a better record than the Panthers (7-3 to 6-4), but thanks to their in-conference record it is Pitt with the chance to take the Big East and the undeserved BCS bowl bid to go with it. It's not quite a role reversal from the infamous 2007 Backyard Brawl, which saw a below-.500 Pitt team go into Morgantown as 28.5-point dogs and dash West Virginia's title game hopes, but Pitt does enter this game with a lot more to lose than West Virginia does. One of the only remaining players from that 2007 game is Noel Devine (aka the guy whose 40 you're going to hear about for two straight weeks this winter when the NFL Combine rolls around), and I think (and hope) he'll turn enough corners to spoil the party at the big ketchup bottle.

Auburn (+4) over ALABAMA (Friday)
It doesn't get much better than this. Auburn has its spot in the SEC Championship locked up but can't be caught napping if it wants to play for a national title. Alabama, with two losses, might see a big difference in their caliber of bowl game depending on the outcome of this one. If his performance against Georgia two weeks ago is any indication, Cam Newton isn't bringing his off-field issues onto the field with him. You have to like the four points here as this one figures to be a dandy.

Michigan (+17) over OHIO STATE
If you haven't read it yet, check out the piece that Kevin wrote in regards to what this game means in the course of the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry. If you are really, really a big-time fan of any team in any sport, it will strike a chord with you (I'll even forgive his use of "we"). Rich Rod has the Wolverines bowl-eligible for the first time in his tenure but needs his team to at least keep things close in Columbus for his doubters to get off his back for a minute. Usually you'd love the chances of a team that can score like Michigan getting 17 points, but the Wolverines defense is painful to watch. I'll cross my fingers that Kevin comes back in one piece and that the entire state of Ohio gets Denard'ed.

LSU (+3.5) over ARKANSAS
The Tigers somehow are only playing their third true road game of the year and have not been overly impressive since beating Alabama three weeks ago. Last week's squeaker against notwithstanding, LSU's meal ticket has been its defense, which provides quite the interesting matchup with Ryan Mallett and the Razorbacks. Arkansas averages 340 passing yards per game while LSU only gives up 151. The lower the scoring stays, the better chance LSU has, and vice versa. The hook on this 3.5 line is tougher to pass up than that second piece of pumpkin pie (come on, I wasn't getting through this without at least one lame Thanksgiving reference).

OKLAHOMA STATE (-2.5) over Oklahoma
The Sooners haven't lost to the Cowboys since seemingly the beginning of time (ok, 2002), but I love Mike Gundy's team's chances at home on Saturday night. Oklahoma has appeared to right the ship after A&M snuck up on them a few weeks ago, but Oklahoma State is averaging nearly 51 points a game at home. Like I've said before in this space, this year has a special feeling for Oklahoma State and what better way to go into the Big 12 Championship than by beating the in
-state rival who has played the Marcia Brady to Oklahoma State's Jan for so many years.

Last Week: 2-2-1
Season: 32-24-4

5 for Thanksgiving Weekend

31-27-2 on the Season as we go into the final two weeks.  Slight hope remains to catch Lou after two weeks of gaining ground. 

Texas A&M (-3.5) @ Texas  8 PM Thursday ESPN

I find myself ruining for A&M for reasons I can't really explain except that I like some of their traditions.  The 12th man, the bonfires, yelling practices, kissing coeds, and a huge ROTC program.  Texas needs a win to go bowling which is unthinkable for a team coming off a National Title Game appearance.  A&M has been playing well on defense lately and I think that will see them through here.

West Virginia (+2) @ Pittsburgh Noon ABC Friday

See this is why I check the times.  I wrote this game off as a night game then bam it changes Sunday without me knowing it.  My brother and I are now contemplating attending this game.  I know its at Heinz but if any readers think we should still go on our way to more important things let me know.  If Pitt wins they are in great shape to go to a BCS bowl, if not the door opens for ...UConn?  Yes, UConn.  UConn has tie breakers over Pitt and West Fuckin Virginia and would control their own destiny with all teams 4-2 in the Big East.

Auburn (+4) @ Alabama 2:30 CBS Friday

The Iron Bowl has never been bigger for Auburn.  This will be their toughest test of the season and I'm not sure they will survive.  I don't know which way this one will go or even who to root for. Can Auburn really run the table?  I'm thinking no but damn does that spread seem high?  I know that if you are able to watch this game you should because the Iron Bowl takes center stage this year nationally which isn't always the case.

Michigan (+18) @ Ohio State  Noon ABC Saturday

See my article on the rivalry here.  Well it does mean everything.  My brother and I attended our first Michigan Ohio State game last year at the Big House, this year we follow up with going to the Shoe.  Last year didn't go so well but the Wolverines played valiant, and even covered a 12.5 spread losing 21-10.  This year the offense is better and the defense is worse.  Injuries are in full force for a second year in a row but what do you expect when you play Wisconsin the week before.  It's football, It's a rivalry game so anything can happen but Michigan appears over matched.  However, as I said last week I don't think OSU is the best team in the conference.  Who is the best team they beat all year?  Miami? Iowa?  Yes they have more talent than Michigan, especially on defense.  1 player on Michigan's defense would start at Ohio State, and NT Mike Martin has been battling injury most of the season.  The hope for Michigan is their offense where they are going to put up a fight in any game.  It will be a hard fought football game and I'm thankful I will be there listening to Buckeye fans yelling at me instead of the commentators talking about if Rich Rod will be back next year. Denard, please end our suffering and establish yourself as a Michigan Legend.

Florida @ Florida State (-2.5) 3:30 ABC Saturday

Florida State will finally get the job done this year.  The pain and suffering has been long and brutal for Noles fans. What do you know its also been since 2003.  Lift Jimbo up on your shoulders, your suffering is over. 

It's unfair to pick just 5 games for this weekend when so many other ranked teams play each other.

Barely Legal

Creepers, old men, and college students today is your lucky day.  Miley Cyrus turns 18!  You officially have a legal chance at Hannah Montanna.  Your odds are squarely in line with Lloyd Christmas going after Mary Swanson. 

Just think her parents are going through a divorce and shes confused, you can take advantage.  Also the window is closing before she goes completely off the deep end so time is running thinner than you think.  Good luck, the clock starts now.

Sh*t I Don't Understand: Black Friday

About 8 months ago, I delved into the topic of shopping and originally intended to include the unofficial American holiday of Black Friday, but decided to hold off until this time of year because it really warrants its own post. Someone please explain to me what the hell is so great about Black Friday shopping. I've been to malls on my share of Black Fridays and never really bought into the whole ordeal. And now that this thing has exploded to the point that people are essentially heading immediately out to the stores once the Thanksgiving pumpkin pie is finished, it's really starting to get on my nerves.

Before you say, "but Lou you idiot, don't you realize the huge sales and discounts that are out there to be had on Black Friday?" - I do realize. How can't I? Every piece of advertising anyone sees or hears during the week of Thanksgiving somehow involves a huge Black Friday blowout, as if the day after Thanksgiving is the last day that anyone will ever be able to buy holiday gifts without going bankrupt. I especially love the stores that have the descending discounts as time goes by during the morning, i.e. before 6am you get 40% off, between 6-8 you get 25%, between 8-10 you get 10%, etc. What a joke. You know where I like to be at 6am on Black Friday? Asleep in bed. The last place I'd ever want to be is standing in 30-degree weather waiting for the doors to open at Kohl's or some other dumpy store so I can stampede in with the rest of the herd and jockey for position to save an ultimately inconsequential amount of money. On that note, let's also not forget the 2008 trampling incident at a Long Island Wal-Mart that resulted in an employee's death.

The root of it is that some people place such little value on their time or have no concept of valuing their time altogether. I don't care if I'm apparently a sucker for paying slightly higher prices for gifts because I miss out on these supposedly phenomenal Black Friday deals. Avoiding the throngs of frantic people, the long lines, the traffic, and any other aggravating thing you can think of is well worth it. Of course, there are exceptions - I have a friend who spent 10 hours or so overnight between Thanksgiving and Black Friday in front of a Target last year but got in as soon as they opened and saved something like $250 on an HD TV. If you break it down, that's essentially valuing your time and relative comfort at $25 an hour, which is pretty fair if you ask me. But how many people actually get the kind of deal (on a worthwhile product, mind you) that really computes into a figure that justifies their time and effort?

Another thing we're assured of on Black Friday is the mind-numbing local news coverage that night. You always see some overweight and inarticulate mongo yelping at the camera, bragging about whatever deals they got, and how "I gots all ma shoppin' done ta-day!" Oh really, Lennie, did you? You're telling me you got all your Christmas shopping done today? I'm here to dispute that fact. No matter how much stuff they do buy, no one gets all their shopping done on Black Friday. You know why? Because there's still a month or so left before Christmas; and as December goes on, our consciousness becomes dominated by Christmas songs, cookies, Ralphie Parker, Rudolph, Santa, etc. That, in turn, compels many people to get back out there for "just a few more things here and there," because they want to immerse themselves in the onslaught of holiday cheer - no one wants to feel uninvited to the party. So even if you end up "getting all your shopping done on Black Friday," chances are you will end up spending even more money in the subsequent weeks.

In conclusion, I don't want to come off like a grinch, but I do believe that Black Friday in Western culture is one of the things about life on our planet that causes the aliens to never really stick around when they visit Earth. I'm not telling anyone not to go out and shop to their heart's content this Friday (after all, what do I care, I'll be at work). But just take it with a grain of salt and maybe, just maybe, think to yourself - is voluntarily subjecting myself to all these unsavory people and uncomfortable situations really worth it?

5 for Sunday

Week #11 and all we know about the NFL is that 75% of the teams flat-out stink. Home teams in CAPS.

TENNESSEE (-7) over Washington
In all honesty, how could anyone put money on the Redskins right now? The team is a train wreck, still hasn't won a game on their own this year, is coming off a game in which they gave up 59 points at home, and now has to deal with an offense that boasts Chris Johnson and Randy Moss. Maybe Albert Haynesworth won't take a mid-play nap in his Nashville homecoming like he did against the Eagles, but I still don't think it will matter. Titans by double digits.

Baltimore (-10) over CAROLINA
This one is a layup. Brian St. Pierre starts at quarterback for the Panthers, who are in utter disrepair and are down to their 4th running back as well. The Ravens are coming off 10 days of rest and should throw the kitchen sink at Carolina's offense. On a side note, as easy a target as the Panthers are to bet against these days, you have to feel for Steve Smith as he gets ball after ball thrown at his feet or airmailed over his head.

Oakland (+7.5) over PITTSBURGH
I'm continuing to ride the Raiders, and with good reason. They get after the quarterback, and Pittsburgh's offensive line looked like a set of turnstiles last week against New England. If the Raiders have watched their share of film, they should be able to use the short passing game against the Steelers' over-aggressive safeties and linebackers to create mismatches with their playmakers like Darren McFadden, Michael Bush, and the out-of-nowhere Jacoby Ford. If tight end Zach Miller suits up, the Steelers will have even more to deal with. You have to like the Raiders' chances of at least keeping this a one-score game and maybe even winning outright.

Buffalo (+5.5) over CINCINNATI
The Bills stink but are getting better. The Bengals stink but are possibly getting worse. Losers of six in a row, the Bungles have won only one game this year by more than 5 points, and that was against the Panthers. At the very least, you have to respect Buffalo's ability to keep games close (last four games decided by a total of 11 points), which is much easier said than done when your team is going nowhere. The Bengals play just well enough to lose every week - why should anyone expect them to win this game by a touchdown?

SAN DIEGO (-9.5) over Denver (Monday Night)
Now that Daylight Savings Time has ended, you are now free to lay the lumber with the Chargers. Despite lacking a healthy and/or effective running back all season and possibly being without Antonio Gates for a second straight game, Philip Rivers continues to make stars out of whoever is on the receiving end of his throws. Kyle Orton and co. aren't likely to light things up in San Diego the way they did against Kansas City, a defense who had been playing above its head for most of the season.

Last Week: 3-2-0
Season: 25-23-2

Cinq Pour Samedi

We're closing in on Rivalry Week (or some semblance of what used to be Rivalry Week), and this Saturday's matchups provide a decent mix of games that have meaning for the present and inspire some nice looks to the past. Home teams in CAPS.

Stanford (-6.5) over CALIFORNIA
Call this a bit of an overreaction to Cal's tempering of Oregon last week, especially considering that this line opened at 8.5 and enough Cal money has come in to bring it down two points. I just think Stanford is flat-out better and when you can lay less than a touchdown with a 9-1 team against a 5-5 team, you take that chance. Andrew Luck is going to have to do much of the work for the Cardinal, as Cal allows only 67 rushing yards per game at home. And I'd be remiss not to link to The Play, especially on its 28-year anniversary.

Ohio State (-3) over IOWA
Iowa is coming off two straight clunkers and Ohio State is on a tear. Is either one of these teams all that good? I'm not sure, considering how many Penn State mistakes were needed by Ohio State to put last week's game to bed. A win here likely puts the Buckeyes in the Rose Bowl, and while I don't necessarily want to see it, I just don't think they come up lame against a team whose best football this year is quite possibly behind it.

NORTHWESTERN (+7.5) over Illinois (@ Wrigley Field)
By now you've heard that this tilt will take place at the Friendly Confines, and that the one end zone encroaches so closely upon Wrigley's right field wall that it has been deemed unsafe to run offensive plays or field goal attempts in its direction (here's a look). All offensive possessions will be run in the direction of the end zone on the third base line, no matter the quarter or the possessing team. Some people call it an abomination but I find it pretty interesting. What really disappoints me is that they didn't orient the gridiron from the first base line toward left field as they did at Wrigley in the old days, but the seating configuration doesn't allow for it. As far as the game goes, this is a battle of Big Ten teams that have made a living sneaking up on people this year, with Northwestern breaking through against Iowa last week to show for it. The Wildcats are without QB Dan Persa, but I still think they have enough as a team to at least be close here. I find it funny that Illinois fans are chirping mightily about this game even though they lost to sad-sack Minnesota last week.

CINCINNATI (-13.5) over Rutgers
This is for no other reason than I haven't picked a Rutgers game yet this year, and I really don't like their bogus fandom and program that wants to be treated like it matters but plays a JV schedule. I must be out of my mind laying two touchdowns with a 3-6 Cincy team, but Rutgers does have a big injury list so what the heck.

Army (+8.5) over NOTRE DAME (@ Yankee Stadium)
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Yankee Stadium." It would have been nice to have Bob Sheppard doing the PA for this game, but I like to think he'll be at the mic on high with Mel Allen and Phil Rizzuto. I kind of wish I could have experienced the era during which the Army-Notre Dame matchup was the biggest game of the year, but at least we have the new Yankee Stadium all decked out for football, complete with the diagonal lines in the end zones to simulate a Notre Dame home field. Both teams are playing to seal their bowl bids, but Army has a lot more to gain in this game than Notre Dame does. A win for the Black Knights would be a watershed moment on a big stage, and since their only double-digit loss this year was to a legit 8-4 Air Force team, I'll give them a puncher's chance here. Notre Dame is still likely to win, but 8.5 is a bit too many to cover. Longtime blog follower Tony is attending this game, so if you're reading this, don't forget to send me a picture from your seat.

Last Week: 2-3-0
Season: 30-22-3

NFL Injury Report

Mark Simoneau, Chiefs.  Presummed Dead for 3 years, resurfaced to be placed on Injured Reserved.  Out.

Chad Henne, Dolphins.  Frayed wires in knee, Doubtful. (No one will get this joke)

Chad Pennington, Dolphins.  Missing Shoulder, Career Over....Again.

Brett Farve, Vikings.  Shoulder, ankle, knee, blue balls.  Will play anyways but demanded to be listed on injury report.

Fred Taylor, Patriots.  Missing cartiledge in knee yet bothered by toes.  We question what this means.  Expect more white NFL running back.

Reggie Bush, Saints.  Questionable depends on if Karma really is a bitch.

Osi Umenyiora, Giants.  Probable knee. Questionable whether or not he finds female to defecate on.

Darrelle Rivas, Jets. Playing with a fat contract. Will play if he feels like it.

Donovan McNabb, Redskins.  Probable.  undisclosed Air Guitar injury

5 for Saturday

4-1 Last Week puts me back over .500. 28-26-1 on the season. 

Fresno State (+30.5) @ Boise State ESPN 8PM Friday

Yes this game has almost no chance to be interesting because Fresno State is having a down year, but I'm up for some Boise hate on a Friday night.  Boise State has to come out firing and will have the pressure on to score a point a minute to impress the voters.  If Fresno is in it at half I like my chances for them to hold on against the number.

Wisconsin (-5) @ Michigan ESPN Noon Saturday

You have two options here, lay the points and bet Wisconsin or take Michigan against the moneyline.  Michigan could win this game because they can light up any defense in the country, especially one that won't stack the box.  It's at home on a fast track where Wisconsin hasn't won since 1994.  They even surrendered a 19-0 lead as the #9 team in the country losing to an eventual 3-9 Michigan team the last time they played in Michigan Stadium.  The smart money still seems to be on Wisconsin here.  At the begining of the year you would have said they were at least the 2nd best team in the conference if not the best.  You are saying the same thing now.  It seems likely that Wisconsin will be able to pound the ball down Michigan's throat and execute cutbacks and play actions at will.  If there is hope for Michigan it is because for the first time under Rich Rod they will have virtually no pressure on them and can turn it loose. That and well a killer offense that is capable of scoring 30 points against the Badgers.

Ohio State (-3) @ Iowa 3:30 ABC

Last year's game was epic, even after Ricky Stanzi went down.  Iowa has the chance to play spoiler here and salvage what to Hawkeye fans (read delusional) has been a disapointing season.  I don't see it happening though.  A Ricky Stanzi pick six lets Iowa down one more time.

Virginia Tech (-2.5) @ Miami ESPN 3:30

Pam Ward is calling this game so mute your TV or be prepared do your best Vincent van Gogh impression.  As stated previously, in the land of the ACC roulette you always bet on Va Tech.  Even though they will still win the division whether they win or lose here, the play in Va Tech

Nebraska  @ Texas A&M (+3) 8 PM ABC/Gameplan

I'm not sure where to go here.  Texas A&M has been playing really well since changing QBs.  Nebraska is solid as a rock if not playing Texas.  Coin flip, ok A&M it is.  It's safe to say I wouldn't be picking this game unless I had too.

Contract Negotiations Between McNabb and Synder

NAGAYT has obtained the transcript of the conversation between Donovan McNabb and Daniel Snyder regarding his McNabb's contract extension with the Washington Redskins

McNabb:  You wanted to see me Mr.Snyder? 

Snyder: Yes, please sit down.

McNabb: Please do not fire me.  I promise I will lay off the fast food and go to the gym more often. 

Snyder: Fire you?  No way that's absurd.  I was hoping you would consider extending your contract with us.

McNabb:  Are you serious? I don't like practical jokes.

Snyder:  I'm super serial.

McNabb:  I'll sign.

Snyder: Don"t you want to hear the terms?

McNabb: O yes of course

Snyder: $78 million

McNabb: Done

Snyder: Don't you want to know the length of the deal?

McNabb: It doesn't matter, I assume its a lifetime deal and I will be doing everything from making shirts to tearing tickets eventually. Right?

Snyder: Hahaha, no.  It's five years and all you have to do is play football.

McNabb: You can't be serious.

Snyder: Wait there are incentives too. You can earn up to $88 million!

McNabb: Hahahaha. Where can I sign?

Snyder: Don't you want to read the fine print or call your agent?

McNabb: No, I'm not going to let you change your mind.

Snyder: Great that was the easiest negotiation since Albert Haynesworth!