Hating the Past: Foreign Language

If you are apart of the we are in America, speak English crowd like me, you probably loathed forced language classes in middle school and high school.  It's always more challenging to learn things you have no interest in, but foreign languages are nearly impossible to learn when you not only don't care but are fundamentally against the course itself.

In middle school I took two years of Spanish for the first time and hated it.  Year one was rather basic and my teacher was moderately attractive so blow ups were few and far between.  Year two Spanish was rather annoying because my Spanish teacher doubled as my homeroom teacher.  You can imagine how annoying this might be.  I didn't really care for her and I put up with alot less shit then.  It was obviously bad seeing her twice a day especially when Spanish class seemed to overlap into homeroom. We had it out a few times.

On the first day of class we were told that we would be picking Spanish names to replace our real names for class.  The teacher would call us our Spanish names and it would be fun!  At least that's what I now suppose the idea was.  This did not go over well with me.  My name is Kevin.  Not Carlos. I'm American and not Spanish.  I'm also not Chinese and named John that would be weird.  So the teacher hands out a list of names and tells me to pick one off the list.  Per usual I suggest something off the list.  "Can I be Magglio?"  "No please pick a name off the list."  It would have been cool to be Magglio Ordonez, but I'll settle for Carlos Lee I thought.  This was well and good for a couple weeks until we had to start writing our Spanish names on our tests.  So after the first test didn't go so well, I didn't want to play her games anymore. 
"Carlos, can you write this sentence on the board?  Carlos doesn't answer.  Carlos, can you write this on the board?
"My name is Kevin.  I don't want to be called Carlos anymore." 
"Everyone in my class goes but a Spanish name."
"Why?  This isn't Spain, this is America and I'm an American and I want to be called by my real name" 
"These are the rules of my classroom, and everyone seems to follow them but you.  Now please write this sentence on the board."

This is paraphrased because my memory isn't quite that sharp but stay tuned for Part 2 of the story know as the Pete Rose incident.

Hating the Past: Dumb Little Child

In Kindergarten, Dickie Noles came to our school for an assembly to tell us drugs were bad, mm'kay.  At one point during the assembly, Noles is giving away prizes.  He asks when did the Phillies win the World Series?  I didn't normally volunteer as a child in these situations but my hand sprang up.  Noles actually called on me, and even as a little guy I knew the answer.  "1980," I shouted.  Noles says that was correct, walk up here and get your copy of a 1980 World Series Program. I was proud that I knew the answer and proud that I won a prize.

I took the program home and was excited to show my parents.  My dad said to hold onto the program, which I did for a little while.  Collage Day game at school soon enough and guess which pictures I couldn't wait to put in my collage?  Unfortunately I was a dumb little child after all and cut apart a piece of memorabilia and posted next to glitter, stickers, and who knows what else.  Good news for me is the programs aren't worth much more today then they were in 1980. 

Kind of a nothing post I know, but you might find it interesting and think of something dumb you did when you were little, not matter how insignificant.

Hating the Past: Group Projects

It was a major trend in college.  Group work seems to be academia's favorite way to do assignments.  Professors would preach the "this is how you do it in the real world" meme. Except it was always bullshit.  If someone doesn't carry their weight in the real world they get axed, plain and simple.  In school, you were lucky to have two people in a group willing and able to work.  How many times did you find yourself in situations where you are carrying the burden of the group? 

The most specific example I can muster is my senior year where I was completing my core business courses with a Business Information Systems Course.  The entire semester you were to work on a group project with a team.  I was placed in a group with two female basketball players and the star men's basketball player.  We were supposed to place everything on a team issued jump drive that the teacher had labeled as if it were some kind of experiment on how to take care of this flash drive.  The flash drive was lost at some point along with some workpapers and the teacher decided to punish the group entirely.  When work was done it was done incorrectly, one of the team members struggled to read PowerPoint's feed to them.  We also had a group test where one of the team members was caught cheating.  It was a disaster.  The teacher said he was giving the group a B- for the year and I flipped.  He immediately threw out the "real world" meme to which I emphatically squashed.  I had internships and a job offer at this point and said that you can see what I am working with.  He didn't care.

College's don't get it.  Not all kids in college are created equal and people should be doing their own work far more often.  Students should also be graded on an individual basis at all times.  And in the "real world" chances are you are going to have better team members especially in a smaller setting where there is no place to hide.  If people don't pull their weight in the corporate world they are fired, or at least prevented from rising in the company. 

Hating the Past: Fads

Magic the Gathering- Never bought or really played.  Game was confusing and generally played by what I would have considered weirdos at the time.  No offense to anyone who played it though.  Looking back it had alot more to offer than most of the things on this list and was probably played by semi intelligent kids.

Pokemon- I can't believe I chose these over buying more baseball cards on a couple of occasions. Granted I was looking to sell them because you always got to be hustling but I owned this garbage and got sucked in.  These cards were really expensive and were a total waste of money and you do not need to catch em all.

Pogs- They were retarded.  They made no sense and yet I found myself buying them eventually. They were cheap so their wasn't much push back from the parents. Never really did anything with them including playing that dumb little game. I once attended a pog and baseball card birthday as a little guy and traded my pogs for 1990-91 proset hockey packs. 

Those Robot Pets (I think Taguchis or something like that)- Never had one but played with other kids during a school day.  Kinda fun for a day but little playback value even for $15 bucks or so.

Beanie Babies- Got in real late and had a few of the so called valuable ones.  We even had some book predicting their value in 10 years and boy was that wrong.  Had the tag protectors and cases for a few of them as well.  So lame to spend my little money or my parents money on anything but baseball cards at that age.  The expenses on these added up as you collected them.

Devil Sticks- Never bought because I'm not that skillful but I know someone in my family had a pair. They were stupid but relatively cheap.

Girls- Cats Cradle thing.  I don't know what this was but the girls seemed to play it alot.  I'd like to here some comments if you played with it.  It seemed rather harmless.

Yo-Yos- They made a comeback with our generation in late elementary school. I can remember the Fireball and I believe Duncan Yo-yos were among the best to have.  My parents bought a couple for me as gifts but my lack of skill and practice with them made them relatively useless.  A legitimate little toy that's cheap and has more staying power than most of this list.  Will probably be a fad again at some point if you can avoid giving cell phones to pre teens.

Paper football- Played quite a bit. Easy to make and I even attempted to sell well made ones for nickels and dimes in 3rd grade.  Obviously that didn't go to well but revenues did clear $1. The game itself was not so enjoyable and it was always more fun to flick them across the room.

Please add more because I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

Most fads I held out until they were near the end of their run and gave in.  Some I was able to wait out entirely and successfully avoid getting sucked in. 

Looking back it was easy to predict that I would be an individual rather than a clone.  I was still wearing hand me downs and sweatshirt and sweatpants in 5th grade because I was comfortable in them at recess. The rest of the day didn't matter too much to me.  In reality nothing has really changed.  I never created a myspace or a facebook just because everyone else was doing it. However I scooped up my name on twitter hoping it would kill facebook in the workplace. So while I take pride in not going with the crowd, I am prone at times to giving in. Don't follow the leader all the time and do what you want to do.

Hating the Past: Writing Style

Remember when your English teacher said you need more descriptive in your writing. Your paper is not long enough so please extend it by painting a picture for the reader. Your job in these classes seems to be to say as little as possible in each sentence. The teacher wants 4-5 pages and your fresh out of ideas so you spice each sentence to fill pages. Mess with the margins, play with the font. You know all the tricks that got you this far. "That's what 90% of people learn from English classes: how to turn a perfectly respectable sentence into something incomprehensible, cliché-ridden, and three times as long."(Mgoblog)

In the real world, you unlearn the nonsense that was past down to you throughout Middle school, high school, and college. Its bullshit and it’s for those who wish to write novels and travesty articles in what some people call journalism. The majority of students should be learning how to write properly and with a concise purpose.(See the word "concise" is uneccesary there) Rather the goal seems to be to stuff as many adjectives and adverbs in a sentence. You wonder why people use “like” so many times to describe something, or “basically”, or finally.” Curriculum Fail. Idea Fail. The school system has failed you because the english teachers can't do much other than teach or write with their degrees. They will torment you because they had to learn it.

My experience’s in business so far has me unlearn everything I picked up in school. Keep it simple stupid. Just like the way I began to write. Short sentences, saying only what you need to say. Because someone has to read that and in our professions we hate to waste time. In writing our reports the rule is no adjectives and I find myself breaking this rule unknowingly. It's burned into my brain. Hopefully some educators will have a clue and stop this vicious pattern.

Hating the Past: Greek Mythology

Maybe I was just a kid with ADD who could not get my facts straight. Maybe I just refused to buy into it once I learned it was all fake. In 6th grade we were learning about the world history, the Pharaohs, and Greek mythology. I was always far more interested in American history and was quick to consume anything regarding the Revolution or Civil War. I was excited to learn about World War I and World War II next. Except that did not happen and I was forced to endure ancient history. This would have been fine if it were about the Alexander the Great and Ghenghis Khan. However, the line between real and make believe was often blurred and I became frustrated when I realized what were learning was mythology. It was similar to finding out that wrestling was fake and that Hulk Hogan truly wasn't larger than life brother. I went on to question other sports as well but ultimately accepted wrestling. Greek mythology had a different fate. It was excommunicated from my mind. If you happen to like Greek mythology fine, but I do not endorse spending great lengths of time on it in schools. Sure there might be lessons to be learned in their tales but their are lessons to be learned in real history as well.

Hating the Past: Adolescence

It was 6th grade in Mr.Houdart's class (he's an ass or maybe was) when I first realized I was losing my grip on some of my friends. Some kids were so afraid to tell each other who they liked. Everyone said Aimee Stahl as far as I can remember. Some kids started dressing differently while I still rocked sweat pants because I was more concerned about recess than anything else.
Needless to say middle school hit me like a ton of bricks. Despite awkward warnings issue by my dad when he had me isolated "you know boys and girls are going to start kissing," or this gem "girls are going to start to grow boobs". It was as hilarious then as it is now. I'm sure it was difficult for him to bring it up.

I entered middle school to find hundreds of new students and a ton of girls I couldn't talk to. Some girls that knew me before asked why I was so quiet all the sudden. IT WAS AWKWARD. I didn't know how to handle things. I didn't watch MTV, live on AIM, or shop at Aeropastle. As far as I was concerned wrestling was still cool and ESPN was the only channel that mattered. Shopping for clothes didn't sound like much fun. I was hesitant to change and didn't know what to do about the pimples on my face and back. A landmark victory in middle school was working up the courage to speak to Alyssa H*rn or sneaking a peak at Christina T*rtu's panties (locker next to me). I was always trying to find my traction in middle school but it came and went in two years and I had to start all over. It wasn't until my junior year in high school that I started to look normal and assemble any kind of idea of what was going on.

Hating the Past: Outlines and Rough Drafts

Remember in Elementary school and middle school and high school and even college when teachers forced you to do outlines and rough drafts.

For some people this may have actually been helpful but for me it was always a nuisance that I have dreaded. It was bullshit that got in the way of the finished project. Stuff like this should have been optional because for some kids it did not help organize shit. Teachers should have been worried about the finished product and not how you got there. If you can successfully complete the finish product you don't need to complete mundane tasks. If you can't and the outline helps you then have at it.

I bring this up because today at work I am being told to write an outline for a half page summary of a 10 page report. Really I wrote a 10 page report and you don't trust me to write a half page summary. Needless to say I wrote my summary and didn't do the outline only to bitched at after the fact. Forgive me for cutting the bullshit.