Mark Simoneau, Chiefs. Presummed Dead for 3 years, resurfaced to be placed on Injured Reserved. Out.
Chad Henne, Dolphins. Frayed wires in knee, Doubtful. (No one will get this joke)
Chad Pennington, Dolphins. Missing Shoulder, Career Over....Again.
Brett Farve, Vikings. Shoulder, ankle, knee, blue balls. Will play anyways but demanded to be listed on injury report.
Fred Taylor, Patriots. Missing cartiledge in knee yet bothered by toes. We question what this means. Expect more white NFL running back.
Reggie Bush, Saints. Questionable depends on if Karma really is a bitch.
Osi Umenyiora, Giants. Probable knee. Questionable whether or not he finds female to defecate on.
Darrelle Rivas, Jets. Playing with a fat contract. Will play if he feels like it.
Donovan McNabb, Redskins. Probable. undisclosed Air Guitar injury