Thursday, November 4, 2010
Every now and then you have to give ESPN its due, and I'll gladly say the "C'Mon Man!" segments during Monday Night Countdown are pretty funny. For those who did not watch the video I linked to, "C'mon Man!" is something of a blooper reel from the previous day's NFL games, in which each studio guy points out someone who did something stupid, goofy, annoying, or all of the above. Every time I see the segment, I feel obligated to relate it to recent people and happenings from my life and all of our lives. So, here goes:
-The Princeton Junction NJ Transit station, for giving me a $60 parking ticket for parking in the farthest stretch of their lot, in off-peak hours while all the permit holders already had a spot and there were about 100 empty spots left over. C'mon man!
-Jason Garrett and his "I went to Princeton and I want to remind you guys every chance I get how smart I am" approach to playcalling. C'mon man!
-Whoever the decision-makers are behind 75% of this year's especially terrible political commercials leading up to Election Day. C'mon man!
-Roger Goodell and the NFL's higher-ups, who in one breath tell you the game has gotten too dangerous, and in the next breath tell you the regular season should be 18 games long. C'mon man!
-Anyone I've been stuck behind on a golf course in the past 5 months. C'mon man!
-The guy who eats tuna from the can at work and stinks up the whole floor. C'mon man!
-The AL and NL Central, whose champions each got swept out of the Division Series (even though I wasn't rooting for either of them). C'mon man!
-Dudes who do curls while standing in a squat rack. C'mon man!
-Javier Vazquez, AJ Burnett, and pretty much every Yankee pitcher not named Andy, CC, Phil, Kerry, or Mariano. C'mon man!
-Dallas area sports fans and Cowboys season ticket holders, for allowing the Cowboys-Bears game in Week 2 to be played in front of 35-40% Bears fans. C'mon man!
-Anyone who plays softball and yells "left foot!" when a left handed batter comes to the plate. What the hell is "left foot?" That's the stupidest goddamn thing I've heard in my life. C'mon man!
-People who change lanes in a tight spot without signaling. C'mon man!
-Vinny from Jersey Shore acting like a total sucker for that Ramona girl in Miami. She had a body like a 10 but a face like a Yogi Berra 1953 game-used catcher's mitt. C'mon man!
-Anyone who buys jewelry from a store such as Jared, Kay, or anywhere else that makes those putrid commercials that will be consistently polluting my TV for the next 8 weeks. Buying jewelry is fine. Buying from one of those stores? Not fine. You are not only indirectly supporting those commercials, but you are also potentially contributing to more of this utter garbage down the road. C'mon man!
-Those who have lived in the Northeast their whole lives yet still react as if the next Ice Age is imminent once November hits and we see highs of less than 60. Not only does this happen every year, but two months from now you'll be killing for this kind of weather. C'mon man!