We're all familiar with the different variations of irritating Facebook statuses. What they're missing is a suitable soundtrack that heightens their drama. It isn't enough to just read the status and soak in the occasional emoticon, the plight of the whiner should be colorized with a dramatic score. To sarcastically embrace these incessant updates of whining, ranting, and general nonsense, I suggest posting a musical clip in the status comment area so that all mutual friends can play the clip while reading the update. I believe this will definitely enhance the Facebook experience. Below are some suggested pairings of status genre and what I believe would be an effective corresponding score.
1. The woe-is-me sort of status that usually has some sort of bitching about the weather, how tired someone is, traffic, work, or some other bullshit nobody cares about. This sad violin music really conveys the plight of the pathetic whiny sod.
2. The trivial accomplishment status update. This is the sort of status people put up when they proclaim they're going to the gym, eating a salad, doing laundry, or completing the dreaded adult chores.
3. Statuses involving inside jokes amongst buttbuddy friends, boyfriend or girlfriend, etc. Look, inside jokes are cool, but please keep them inside, because people on the outside don't get it and they will often become confused. This musical score could also accompany statuses that convey excessive lovey-dovey details of a couple.
That is all I have at the moment on this topic, I encourage everyone to come up with their own ideas, and to start posting these clips to any status updates that warrant musical scores.