Showing posts with label 100% Best Thing Ever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 100% Best Thing Ever. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Things You Should Definitely Do: The Preakness


Kevin, despite already being easily the most well-traveled of the three contributors to this blog, is always looking for the next trip, the next experience, the next event to cross off the list. So when we were discussing potential trips for the 2011 baseball and college football seasons, it came as little surprise to me that he also threw in the word "Preakness." After reading that text, my eyes were more lit up than Lindsay Lohan on 4/20.

A back story, if I may. Back in college, one of our fraternity brothers would organize a trip down to the Preakness Stakes every year. (For the lesser-informed, the Preakness is the second leg of the famous Triple Crown of horse racing, sandwiched every May between the Kentucky Derby and the Belmont Stakes.) Simply put, purchasing a general admission infield ticket to the Preakness is an entry into the biggest college party of the year. There are several schools within fairly easy distance of Pimlico Raceway (just outside Baltimore) - Towson , University of Maryland, Johns Hopkins, James Madison, and University of Delaware are some examples off the top of my head. The timing is perfect. The race is held around the third week of May or so, right near the time when most colleges are finishing up for the year, which leads many groups of college kids and early 20's hangers-on to treat the Preakness as their last big bang before everyone parts ways for the summer or for the treachery of post-graduate life. Couple that with the fact that it doesn't become consistently warm in the Northeast anymore until around May 15, and you've got nearly 100,000 people in a rough age range of 19-30 chomping at the bit for some good old fashioned outdoor daytime drinking. Oh, and another thing - under the old BYOB rules (which have since been abolished, and then brought back in modified form), you could bring as much booze, food, and whatever else that you could manage to wheel into the place. And believe me, they're not carding 100,000 people, either.

There is a rare dynamic to The Preakness. It is a combination of landmark moments in one's sports fandom as well as his partying career. I say that because, when you have infield tickets, you obviously get to walk across the racetrack as you enter and exit. Just think, for a mere general admission ticket, you are allowed to transverse the very surface on which one of the biggest sporting events of the year takes place. To me, that's the horse racing equivalent of the days when spectators were allowed to exit the old Yankee Stadium to the subways after games by walking across the field.

Once you get to the infield, what you enter upon is a collision of Bourbon Street, Hamsterdam, spring break in Cancun, an SEC tailgate, and the last 20 minutes of the Atlantic City Beer Festival all in one. And there's also a bunch of horses running around you periodically. If you want visuals, here's a link to the Google image search for "Preakness infield." The first beers were cracked circa 6:45am as we met up with the charter bus to head down to Pimlico. There were 30s for the way down, bushels of 30s for the day, and 30s for the way home. Once we found a spot on the infield near the 1/8 mile marker and next to a group of old people with no idea of what was in store, the melée began. The beers didn't stop, the food was there when we needed it, and the infield betting counters (a fantastic way to get drunks to part with their money) weren't too far away for the ill-advised amateur handicappers in the group. Eventually, someone whips out a bottle of something, and then things get hazy. People begin to pass out on the ground (mid-day naps, they'll call it), and inevitably those in their group will see how many objects (empty cans, coolers, lawn chairs, etc.) they can stack on top of their slumbering friend before he wakes up and notices anything. Girls will start making out with each other. You're certain to see a near-fight break out before 3:00 in the afternoon. Someone is bound to lose their phone. One of this blog's loyal readers puked before 11am and wound up passing out in the back of a U-Haul (if he wishes to identify himself in the comments section, then he certainly may). After the last race, it took us nearly two and a half hours just to get out of the parking lot and head home, and it didn't seem to bother anybody.

If you go, a charter bus (WITH A BATHROOM) is a must if you're making a trip of an hour or more. Bring twice as much food (of the PBJ/lunchmeat type) and water as you think you're going to need. Also, hand trucks are a huge plus. It's one of the longest walks of your life from the parking lot to the infield on the way in, and it's THE longest walk of your life from the infield to the parking lot on the way out, so you want to ease the carrying load as much as possible. And finally, sunscreen. You'll take one look at the obligatory sun-crisped friend at 4:00 and thank me, unless you end up being that sun-crisped friend.

Which year did I go, you ask? Well, I was an infield spectator at the 2006 running of The Preakness, more famously known as the day that Barbaro, the winner of the Derby just two weeks prior, broke his leg on the initial straightaway and became a worldwide story for the next 8 months during his ill-fated recovery. Why did I not mention it earlier in this post? Because, even though I was probably standing less than a 7-iron away from Barbaro when it happened, I did not become fully aware of the situation until 1AM after we got back home. That's the Preakness for you.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Jim Rome Show: Jim Nantz Interview

Rome: Clones, we have a huge interview for you today, the biggest name in broadcasting, Mr. Jim Nantz.  Jim, welcome to the jungle.


Nantz: Thank you Jim, glad to be here


Rome:  Let's start with the NCAA Tournament. There was alot of upsets and it lead to a less than satisfying Championship game between the Butler Bulldogs and the UConn Huskies. Was that the worst championship game you have called?


Nantz:  The game was definitely went to the dogs, early and often.  Butler just couldn't hit any shots, and UConn's athleticism carried them in the second half.  Everyone talked about the dog fight coming in, and one thing was very clear in Houston, Connecticut won best in show.  It certainly wasn't one of the best finals but it was a great NCAA tournament.


Rome: How long do you think the NFL Labor strife will continue for?


Nantz: Well it is hard to say really.  Both sides would be crazy not to come to an agreement in the next month or so.  They need to be able to go full boar after draft, preferably even before it.  The last thing the NFL needs is a strike.  The strike will be over in short time frame.


Rome: What are you going to do with yourself if there are no NFL games?


Nantz:  I will probably play alot of golf (chuckles cautiously).  See Jim that's how you tee up a segway.


Rome:  Speaking of Golf, the Masters start today, who do you look forward to seeing?


Nantz: Well I think I am like everybody else, I look forward to seeing what Phil and Tiger are going to do.  It's wonderful to see all the old greats like Jack and Arnie.  It truly is a tradition unlike any other...not just in golf but in sports. 


Rome: How do you think Tiger is going to do? Can he get things rolling again and be the Tiger he was before his wife beat him with his own clubs?


Nantz:  Well boy do I know what a divorce feels like.  I think his wife took half his golf game too (nervous laughter).  I think Tiger will roar back this weekend at Augusta.   He lives for the Masters tournament, his career really took off here with his first major tournament victory.  The course suits him well and by the end of the tournament it wouldn't surprise me to see him battling for the green jacket.


Rome: So are you picking Tiger?  Or do you have someone else you are going with?


Nantz:  No I think Tiger will contend but I'm actually picking an upset this year.  I think an amateur will win the Masters and make history.  Lion Kim will be the king of the jungle. 


Rome: Nice. Well thank you for joining the program, your welcome back anytime, I always need show to fill.


Nantz:  Thanks and remember to watch the Masters on CBS.


The show continues after the break....


Rome:  Welcome back clones.  Big ups to Jim Nantz.  That guy is the man (dead air)..............................Let's go to emails.


Rome,


I didn't get fired from CBS, I fagged out on Jim Nantz because of his brutal puns.


Signed, Billy Packer


Multiple sound bites play over and over again.


Rome:  Dead air...........Were going to have a monster smack off after the break.  Casper The unfriendly Ghost defends his title against Reid from his mother's basement.  Stayed tuned.


You have now turned your radio dial.......

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Rocky IV Drinking Game

Everyone loves pregaming. It's a science and an art form at the same time. But sometimes the usual mix of beer pong, flipcup, and whatever overrated card game is being played are not enough. This was the case back in the fall of 2004 on the campus of The College of New Jersey, at which time an idea was born, almost by accident. One night while watching Rocky IV and making Keystone Lights disappear, a few of us got to discussing how the fourth installment is so bad that it's good. What evolved over the early part of that semester is still talked about - and vehemently endorsed - today. The game is played as follows:

-Drink the entire time the robot is on screen
-Drink the entire time someone is down on the mat (yes, that includes when Apollo gets killed)
-Drink every time Paulie makes you laugh (i.e. every one of his lines in the movie)
-Drink every time Adrian is a huge bitch (i.e. every one of her lines in the movie)
-Drink every time Apollo's death is foreshadowed
-Drink for the duration of the "Living in America" scene before the Creed-Drago fight, or at least half a beer
-At least half a beer every time Ivan Drago speaks
-Drink every time Duke jumps over the top rope
-Finish your beer during the "No Easy Way Out" montage
-Half a beer or so during "Burning Heart" and the first Russia training montage
-Drink for the entire duration of the "Hearts on Fire" montage, and be prepared with a second side beer in case you finish your current beer
-Half a beer after Paulie's teary-eyed "You're all heart, Rock" speech before the Drago fight and into the Russian national anthem (because it's badass)
-Drink steadily during the Rocky-Drago fight (remember, Rocky gets knocked down about 30 times)
-Finish your beer at the end when Rocky gives the "If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!" speech

If played right, the game should yield you between 9 and 12 beers over the hour and 40 minute running time of the movie. It's pretty much a must to use light beer, as you'd assume. Also, be careful what you eat beforehand. Senior year in college, my buddy (and the game's co-creator) Collins once threw up that night's entire seafood dinner all over his shirt during "Hearts on Fire." But, true to form, we paused the movie, he cleaned himself up, and less than 5 minutes later he rejoined us, and not only finished the game, but set a still-standing record of 13 beers and change. Such is the level that the Rocky IV drinking game will inspire you to reach.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Bracket: Miss AsGoodAsYouThink


Marissa Miller is your champion. She is deemed the hottest girl in the blogosphere 2009-2010.  She is hot enough to have sex with in front of your own family on christmas morning.  They are opening up gifts but you already have everything you want and need in life.  Miller was victorious by a mere vote, proving the women did not get out to the polls.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Ultimate Golf Foursome

Recently a celebrity golf tournament took place in Windermere, FL. Tim Tebow, Bob Knight, John Daly, and Mike Leach were placed in a foursome. The winner of each foursome is entitled too $18,000 for a charity of his choice, everyone else will recieve $9,000 for his charity.


The hosts of the event asked each member what charity they will be play for

A sober John Daly: For fucksake I didn't have a drink all day because I really need this money and your telling me this is for charity?

Host: I'm sorry for the misunderstanding Mr. Daly but I informed your agent this was for charity.

Daly: Can I at least drink on the course?

Host: Yes we will bring you a couple of drinks

Host: Your charities sirs?

Knight: American Heart Association

Leach: Adam James Memorial Scholarship

Tebow: Uncle Dick's Philippine Orphanege Support ( That's real)

Leach, Knight, and Daly snicker.

Tebow: "I promise you one thing. A lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play in this tournement"

Leach: I guess well have to play our best to make sure some poor hodgie doesn't get a knife to his johnson.

Daly: I will be playing for.....the Human Fund.

Tee Off:

Knight: Hey John I bet you $100 that Jesus Freak over here can outdrive you.

Daly: Your On, I'm only one drink in Bob.

Knight: You will address me as Coach Knight, Mr. Knight, or General. Youtube Clip

Tebow: I really don't think you should gamble Mr. Knight.

Tebow, sporting an unortodox swing, drives first and hits the ball 285 yrds. Daly rips its over 300 yrds and lights his first cigar.

Daly (Still Sober): You can owe me.

Tebow: Smoking can kill you Mr. Daly.

Knight: It's a long day I'll make it back sooner or later, after all I'm the only one here who has steady paycheck so I can afford it. What are you up to nowadays Mike?

Leach: Coaching Spring Football for Pee Wees because damnit I want to coach. I don't have my daddy's legacy keeping my job.

Knight pulls his rifle that he keeps in his golfbag (he keeps in there just in case, ya know) and Leach draws a sword.

Tebow: Mr. Knight, Mr. Leach, you guys shouldnt use weapons.

Daly: You're right Timmy, I think they better put the weapons down and just make fun of your Christain Ass all day.

Leach and Knight are ammused and put away their weapons.

After 6 holes Daly leads Tebow by one stroke with Knight and Leach 6 and 7 shots back respectively.

Tebow is approached by two scantly clad women who are charging towards him after he sinks his putt. Natuarally he is unable to handle the blitz and is tackled by the women who begin disrobing and attempt to have their way with him. He is able to fend them off before they touch his no-no spot.

Daly: Whats the matter with you I haven't seen women like that since Cancun in 91. Don't you like women? Are you a fag?

Tebow: I love all creatures Mr. Daly, but the Lord does not condone such behavior.

Tebow can be seen kneeling in prayer as Daly, Knight, and Leach attempt to talk to the women. Daly is disgusted that the women are taken away by course officals.  He proposes a another bet with Coach Knight.

Daly (now working on a buzz): Coach, you have been driving the ball like a senior citizen all day.  I bet I can outdrive you off this beer can.

Knight: You call me a senior citizen one more time I take my Driver and shove it right up your fat ass. But your on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWsg4p-BNdI

Knight is out driven by Daly for another $100 dollars.  After 9 holes Daly leads Tebow by one.  Leach is 10 back and Knight is 12 back.

Daly tees off at hole 10 and decides to call it a day.  Leach and Knight decide to follow having had enough of the charity work. Tebow decides to stay on the course determined to win and contribute to charity.

Knight: I got your tab covered up to $200 John.
Leach: Shit that is not going to be enough to cover his acoholic ass.
Bartender: What will you have?
Daly(Pretty Drunk): I'll have a fifth of Jack.
Leach: Hot Toddy
Knight: Miller

John Daly is asked to give an interview and obligies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6HXfA__e14 

30 minutes passes by and Tebow has turned in his scored card recording a 71 (-1) proving he is indeed infalliable. Tebow claims victory and heads to the clubhouse for some southern cooking. 
Leach: Timmy your back soon, decided to hang em up?
Tebow: No I finished my round and broke par
Leach: Fuck me.  How long we been drinking?
Knight: It can't be more 30 mins I guess you really are superman. 
Daly: What will you have Timmy?
Tebow: Arnold Palmer, please

Daly orders another having used his credit with Knight at this point.  He buys drinks for the boys and two of his signature John Daly's (Vodka, Ice Tea, Lemonade and Rohypnol) for two women at the bar.
Daly approachs the Women and calls for a ride.

10 minutes pass.  Daly is trying to close on his girl that is enjoying her drink. Meanwhile is having trouble with his girl. Suddenly Timmy colaspes when talking to Coach Knight.
Leach( 3:50 minute mark): Looking at the Woman says Fuck You, turns to Tebow and Says Fuck Me, and Fuck Everybody.


Bartender: Mr. Daly your ride is here.
Knight: We better grab Timmy and get to a hospital.
Daly: That won't be neccesary I think the bartender slipped something in the wrong drink
Knight: What the fuck are you talking about?
Daly: Roofied, it was meant for the other girl
Knight: You stupid fuck, well what do we do now?
Daly: Let's go to Mons Venus.
Leach: I got first lap dances.

Leach grabs Tebow and they load him into the town car and are driven to the World Famous Mons Venus.

The girls are all over a barely audible Tebow as soon he arrives like moths to a flame.  Smitten with the attention the group takes advantage of the girls attention to get some of their services.  As soon as they get what they need they instruct the girls to attack Tebow.  Suddenly Tebow touches his first breast unknowingly in a night of firsts for him. When he comes to in the morning the group explains what happened last night.

Tebow: All that stuff is for my image guys, I get more pussy than Tiger Woods.


THE END

Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Bracket: Who's Your Champion?


This combo won by a mere three votes.  For the record I voted for Carrie Underwod and Reese Witherspoon.  Well here is your final. Vote to crown Miss AsGoodasYouThink.  Kinda hard to choose between the two but I'm going with Carrie Underwood.  Vote and Get Laid.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Bracket: Final Four

#1 East Region Champion -Carrie Underwood















Natural beauty, all american girl. Self built, talented performer who can actually sing. Has her own money, so she would ask for any from you.
VS.
#1 South Champion -Heather Vandeven















Fitness is not an issue for her. She can run a 7 minute mile, served in the army, has a masters in nutrition. Yea she's a nude model mostly but seems to be more than just a body and a face.

The Bracket: Final Four

#3 Marisa Miller Midwest Champion

Marisa is certainly the most mainstream model in this competition. She is American too so bonus points and all. I don't really have anything else to say other than she's hot.


#3 Reese Witherspoon West Champion
Reese is one of the most respected actresses in the biz and is considered a bankable star. If you have never seen Walk the Line beware you can fall in love with her on screen. Avoid Legally Blond though or you might have to choke a bitch.


Friday, March 26, 2010

The Bracket: Elite 8



Midwest

#1 Sloan Defeats #4 Sharapova and #2 Kelly Kelly #3 Marisa Miller


#1 Sloan vs. #3 Marisa Miller

West

#1 Miranda Kerr defeats #12 Hilary Duff and #3 Resse Witherspoon Defeats #10 Stacey Kiebler

# 1 Miranda Kerr vs. #3 Resse Witherspoon

East

#1 Carrie Underwood defeats #4 Lisa Ann and #6 Gemma Massey defeats #2 Audrey Bitoni

#1 Carrie Underwood vs. #6 Gemma Massey

South

#1 Heather Vandeven defeats #4 Giada and #2 Cheryl Cole defeats #14 Isla Fisher

#1 Heather Vandeven vs. #2 Cheryl Cole

So there have been some tough decisions and naturally I would like to have some people back in the competition. The toughest decision this round was Kelly Kelly vs. Marissa Miller. No voting this round. That will be back for the final four. Who do you think will advance?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Bracket: The Very Sweet 16

And we are down to the Sweet 16. Now its time for you to cast your vote and have your say for who advances. The voting links are suitable for work. Its merly a poll hosted by another site. Clicking on a woman's name however, is not advised at work.


Midwest
1. Sloan vs. 8.Blake Lively Winner: Sloan Vote 1v4 Sloan vs Sharapova
5. Charissa Thompsonvs.4 Maria Sharapova Winner: Maria Sharapova
6.Lindsey Vonn vs. 3. Marissa Miller Winner: Marissa Miller
7.Scarlett Johansson vs. 2. Kelly Kelly Winner: Kelly Kelly Vote:3v2 Miller vs Kelly

West
1.Miranda Kerr vs.8.Hannah Hilton Winner: Miranda Kerr Vote:1v12 Kerr vs Duff
12.Hilary Duff vs 4.Rachel Glandorf Winner: Hilary Duff
6.Kat Sadler vs.3.Reese Witherspoon Winner: Reese Witherspoon
10. Stacy Kiebler vs. 2. Adriana Lima Winner: Stacy Keibler Vote:3v10 Kiebler vs Witherspoon

East
1. Carrie Underwood vs. 9.Penelope Cruz Winner: Carrie Underwood 1v4 vote Underwood vs Lisa Ann
5. Megan Fox vs.4. Lisa Ann Winner: Lisa Ann. Some will call it blasphamy but oh well.
6. Gemma Massey vs. 3. Jennie Finch Winner: Gemma Massey 6v2 Vote Massey vs Bitoni
7. Christiana Cindrich vs. 2. Audrey Bitoni Winner: Audrey Bitoni

South
1.Heather Vandeven vs. 8. Emily Scott Winner: Heather Vandeven Vote: 1v4 Vandeven vs Giada
5.Erin Andrews vs. 4. Giada De Lauremtiss Winner: Giada
6. Beyoncé Knowles vs. 14.Isla Fisher Winner: Isla Fisher continues her George Mason run
10. Jennifer Aniston vs. 2. Cheryl Cole Winner: Cheryl Cole Vote:14v2 Fisher Vs. Cole



Yes I would rather have Lisa Ann than Megan Fox. To some of you this may seem like taking Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan knowing Jordan would become one of the greatest players of all time. However, no one plays the Milf role and Sarah Palin role better than Lisa Ann. Megan Fox comes off as a bitch to me and her ultimate fall will be stronger than her rise.

The upset of Jennie Finch comes as a suprise I'm sure but her time in the spotlight is fading and she only looks great in a softball uniform and at some point that's gotta come off. Hilary Duff and Rachel Glandorf was very close. Duff emerged because of consistency and an ability to support herself. Stacey Kielber edged Lima on a backdoor cut.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Bracket 1st Round Results




The Matchups

Midwest
1. Sloan vs. Patrick Winner: Sloan
16.Danica Patrick vs 16.Ava Devine Winner: Patrick in an high scoring affair.
8.Blake Lively vs. 9. Tanith Belbin Winner: Blake Lively
5. Charissa Thompson vs. 12.Shyla Stylez Winner: Charissa Thompson
4.Maria Sharapova vs. 13. Sarah Chalke Winner: Maria Sharapova

6.Lindsey Vonn vs. 11. Carmella Bing Winner: Lindsey Vonn
3. Marissa Miller vs. 14. Alicia Sacrimone Winner: Marissa Miller
7 Scarlett Johansson vs. 10. Yvonne Strahovski Winner: Scarlett Johansson
2. Kelly Kelly vs. 15.Kelly Ripa Winner: Kelly Kelly

West
1.Miranda Kerr vs. 16.Capri Anderson Winner: Miranda Kerr
8. Hannah Hilton vs. 9.Jessica Biel Winner: Hannah Hilton
5. Madison Scott vs. 12.Hilary Duff Winner: Hilary Duff
4.Rachel Glandorf vs. 13 Malin Akerman Winner: Rachel Glandorf

6.Kat Sadler vs. 11.Gina Carano Winner: Kat Sadler
3.Reese Witherspoon vs. 14. Cytheria Winner: Reese Witherspoon
7. Hillary Fisher vs. 10. Stacey Kiebler Winner: Stacey Kiebler
2. Adriana Lima vs. 15. Chelsea Handler Winner: Adriana Lima

East
1. Carrie Underwood vs 16. Meghan McCain Winner: Carrie Underwood
8.Lanny Barbie vs. 9.Penelope Cruz Winner: Penelope Cruz
5. Megan Fox vs. 12. Charlize Theron Winner: Megan Fox
4. Lisa Ann vs. 13.Katy Perry Winner: Lisa Ann

6. Gemma Massey vs. 11. Odette Yustman Winner: Gemma Massey
3. Jennie Finch vs. 14. Holly Hogan (Extreme Holly) Winner: Jennie Finch
7. Christiana Cindrich vs. 10. Mila Kunis Winner: Christiana Cindrich
2. Audrey Bitoni vs. 15.Taylor Swift Winner: Audrey Bitoni

South
1.Heather Vandeven vs. 16. Brandy Taylor Winner: Heather Vandeven
8. Emily Scott vs. 9.Shay Laren Winner: Emily Scott
5.Erin Andrews vs. 12. Jessica Simpson Winner: Erin Andrews
4. Giada De Lauremtiss vs. 13. Leighton Meester Winner: Giada

6. Beyoncé Knowles vs. 11.Natalie Gulbis Winner: Beyonce
3. Brittney Skye vs. 14.Isla Fisher Winner: Isla Fisher!
7. Gisele Bundchen vs. 10. Jennifer Aniston Winner: Jennifer Aniston
2. Cheryl Cole vs. 15. Sasha Cohen Winner: Cheryl Cole

The First round did not have many upsets but Hilary Duff stunned Madison Scott and Isla Fisher, the best part of Wedding Crashers, shocked Brittney Skye. Look forward to the Sweet 16 coming out over the weekend in which we hope to implement a voting system for the readers.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Bracket


I don't think this is a great picture but I did the best I could. Click on it to enlarge. The Number One seeds are Carrie Underwood, Miranda Kerr, Heather Vandeven, and Emmannulle Chriqui (Sloan). Again even though there is no nudity in the links do not click on them at work. The majority of links will be from Chikipedia because again this is taking way too long.

The Matchups
Midwest
1. Sloan
16.Danica Patrick vs 16.Ava Devine
8.Blake Lively vs. 9. Tanith Belbin
5. Charissa Thompson vs. 12.Shyla Stylez
4.Maria Sharapova vs. 13. Sarah Chalke

6.Lindsey Vonn vs. 11. Carmella Bing
3. Marissa Miller vs. 14. Alicia Sacrimone
7 Scarlett Johanson vs. 10. Yvonne Strahovski
2. Kelly Kelly vs. 15.Kelly Ripa

West
1.Miranda Kerr vs. 16.Capri Anderson
8. Hannah Hilton vs. 9.Jessica Biel
5. Madison Scott vs. 12.Hilary Duff
4.Rachel Glandorf vs. 13 Malin Akerman

6.Kat Sadler vs. 11.Gina Carano

3.Reese Witherspoon vs. 14. Cytheria

7. Hillary Fisher vs. 10. Stacey Kiebler

2. Adriana Lima vs. 15. Chelsea Handler

East

1. Carrie Underwood vs 16. Meghan McCain

8.Lanny Barbie vs. 9.Penelope Cruz

5. Megan Fox vs. 12. Charlize Theron

4. Lisa Ann vs. 13.Katy Perry

6. Gemma Massey vs. 11. Odette Yustman

3. Jennie Finch vs. 14. Holly Hogan (Extreme Holly)

7. Christiana Cindrich vs. 10. Mila Kunis

2. Audrey Bitoni vs. 15.Taylor Swift

South

1.Heather Vandeven vs. 16. Brandy Taylor

8. Emily Scott vs. 9.Shay Laren

5.Erin Andrews vs. 12. Jessica Simpson

4. Giada De Lauremtiss vs. 13. Leighton Meester

6. Beyoncé Knowles vs. 11.Natalie Gulbis

3. Brittney Skye vs. 14.Isla Fisher

7. Gisele Bundchen vs. 10. Jennifer Aniston

2. Cheryl Cole vs. 15. Sasha Cohen

Sunday, March 14, 2010

March Madness: Touch Yourself

Do not under any circumstances click on the links at work. However the links will not lead to any nudity, for that we recommend doing your own research.

Introducing the March Madness of Totally Unobtainable Women! 65 Women vying for the title Miss AsGoodAsYouThink. They will be seeded from 1-16 just like the NCAA bracket and their will be some random auto bids thrown in. You the reader can help determine who advances by voicing your opinion but the bloggers have final say. Hotness is not everything in this competition so anything can happen. Also don't bitch about people getting left out because putting this together was hard enough and obviously their are many gorgeous women we don't know.

The field and their respective conferences.

Actresses (11) (Must have some level of esteem and be fairly active)-Blake Lively, Scarlett Johanson, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Charlize Theron, Emmannuelle Chriqui (Sloan), Jessica Biel, Leighton Meester, Penelope Cruz, Mila Kunis, Isla Fisher
Not Real Actresses (3) -Megan Fox, Yvonne Strahovski (Good Luck Chuck), Stacey Kiebler
Musicians(5)-Carrie Underwood, Beyonce Knowles, Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift , Katy Perry
Pornstars (8)- Audrey Bitoni, Madison Scott, Carmella Bing, Britney Skye, Lisa Ann, Shayla Stylez, Hannah Hilton, Lanny Barbie
Models(10)- Heather Vandeven, Hilary Fisher, Marisa Miller, Shay Lauren, Gemma Massey, Capri Anderson,Miranda Kerr, Odette Yustman, Malin Akerman, Emily Scott
TV Personalities(5)-Erin Andrews, Kat Sadler, Giada De Lauremtiss, Kelly Ripa, Charissa Thompson
Athletes(10)-Jennie Finch, Lindsey Vonn, Danica Patrick, Natalie Gulbis, Maria Sharapova, Tanith Belbin, Gina Carano, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Sacramone, Sasha Cohen
Guilty Pleasures (7) (Auto Bids)- Ava Devine, Holly Black, Brandy Taylor, Cytheria, Sarah Chalke, Chelsea Handler, Meghan McCain
Player's Wifes (6)(Exceptions, engaged or have a kid together) - Christiana Cindrich (Oguchi Onyewu), Rachel Glandorf (Colt McCoy's fiancée) Gisele Bundchen, Hilary Duff (Mike Comrie) Cheryl Cole, Adriana Lima

Think about where these ladies might be seeded and wait for the unvailing of the bracket. There were several girls whose bubbles burst when the final cuts were made. Jessica Alba, Eva Angelina, and Angelina Jolie were among the most suprising cuts. Abigal Clancy is out to being a known coke head. Eligibility Issues- Jennifer Lopez is out due to being over the hill and Hannah Montana is out due to being underage. For that tournment you will have to turn to our Canadian sister site where 14 is the new 18. Athletes must be at least Semi-active so Anna Kornikova is out.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Pam Ward Interview: Sit On This Grenade


Today is an exciting day at notasgoodasyouthink. We landed our first interview today from famous ESPN announcer, Pam Ward. The opportunity was available for us to do an in person interview but we opted to do a phone interview for obvious reasons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZUMXkHLqAI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9Nfla0CmH0&feature=related

KG: Good Morning Mrs. Ward.

PW: Good Morning.

KG: Thank you for taking a few minutes from your busy schedule to answer some questions.

PW: Oh its really no big deal. I live with 6 cats its just nice to have some human contact even if its over the phone. You sure I can't drive to do the interview in person? Where do you live?

KG: NO. NO. This is for the best. Besides it sounds like your voice is a little hoarse. Are you sick?

PW: No I feel 100%.

KG: O...ok. Well let's just start the questions. How did you manage to get a play by play job at ESPN?

PW: Well I started out as a sideline reporter but was soon told I might be better suited for play by play and radio. These Erin Andrews types are ruining TV. I mean what does she have that I don't?
silence........
PW: Anyways I am better as a play by play announcer.

KG: Yesss. You previously partnered with Andre Ware on ESPN 2's Noon Big Ten Game. Many people were disappointed when you two were split up. What were your feelings with ESPN's decision to pair you with Ray Bentley instead?

PW: Andre and I were the best broadcast team in the business. We were a dynamic duo on the air but Andre blocked my phone number in the offseason. I decided to send him a Christmas card anyways in which I encouraged him to make a comeback at pro football. His biggest issue in the pros was playing under center so I offered to help him out. I also told him I would make an excellent wide receiver. I sent him the same nude photo as everyone else but for some reason he didn't respond. Ray Ray was also a tremendous partner as well but just my luck he decided to go sailing across the world in the offseason. He said he sent me a message in a bottle and that I should keep my eye out for it. The beaches are cold in the winter but I make sure to look everyday.

KG: Who can expect you to work with in the future?

PW: I applied for a job as a production assistant for the MLB Network to keep me busy in the offseason. I have always wanted to work with Peter Gammons because I respect him so much. Harold Reynolds works there as well and I hear he is quite friendly.

KG: Why not work with ESPN on Baseball Tonight?

PW: Well I had a potential contact on the show that was going to recommend me but unfortunately he was fired for having a sex addiction. Having heard this I'm very unhappy I never got a chance to meet him, and now hes in rehab. Story of my life.

KG: I heard he checked out of rehab.

Phone Clicks....