Friday, April 16, 2010

Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Women's Basketball

This is not a rant against women's sports.  I would argue that tennis, golf, gymnastics, softball are among the women's sports that are worthwhile to watch (in between innings, during halftime, intermission or commercials of men's sports).  Tennis is face paced enough and in an enclosed area.  It is the sport played by women in which the women's version most resembles the men's version.  Additionally, any man would be lying if they did not admit the possibility of an upskirt.  Come on, it's more harmless than watching NASCAR and hoping for a car to do cartwheels at 200 mph (quoted George Carlin there).   As for golf, I can only hope that some day my game even resembles that of the ladies on the LPGA.  I understand there isn't the same drama and sex appeal as tennis, but give credit where credit is due.  Although women's golf does not quite stack up as a spectator sport.  Gymnastics, softball, figure skating, swimming etc all require mastery of a  skill.  The Olympics makes these womens sports worthy of being an afterthought every 4 years.  The point is, watching women play the sports mentioned is not worst thing in the world.  Compared to watching women play basketball, viewing the other sports noted is definitely tolerable.

Women's basketball at any level is simply unbearable.  The game is slow, they can't shoot for shit, there is no action, and the basketball is not fundamentally sound.  It's awful television. Even little Alex could not snuff out the sick feeling all down in his guttiwuts as he viddied a bit of the old ultra-boring women's hoops.I found myself pondering the things I would rather do than watch women's basketball.

These activites include such horrible activities such as watching morons talk about the snow on the TV news, watching the 76ers, eating dogshit, walking on broken glass with bare feet like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, playing blackjack with people who hit 15 with the dealer showing a 6, getting a tooth cavity filled, reading the Great Gatsby (f***ing hated that damn book), watching replays of the 2003 NFC Title game when the Eagles wet the bed against the Bucs, being forced to go through high school again, watching the 76ers practice, listening to an Eddie Jordan press conference, making awkward conversation with an acquaintance you don't care to know too well, driving on Street Road during rush hour, listening to women complain, watching cop shows that are not The Wire (and imagine how bad that must be), writing term papers at 6 AM, listening to nails on a chalkboard, hanging out at the DMV, standing behind old people at the grocery store as they go through their coupons, and the list goes on. 


  1. +1 to you for the Street Road reference. I hate that road.