From NAGAYT Wire Reports
Charlie Weis has been given a 5 year contract extension after the Kansas City Chiefs started the season 2-0. Weis was so excited about the extension he was able to stand up with the assistance of crutches. "I came here with the goal in mind to fix the quarterback situation. I believe it's pretty clear that I have done that while providing my team with a decided schematic advantage." Matt Cassel is blowing up right now and Weis has clearly fixed the QB situation. Cassel a QB rating of 55.8 and has yet to throw a touchdown pass.
Many respected colleagues have credited Charlie Weis with making Tom Brady a star. "As you can see Tom has been slipping a little lately. He was the MVP in the NFL when I left him."
Columnists and talking heads are comparing the premature extension to the 10 yr extension he received at Notre Dame following the famous "Bush Push". "Well first of all I'm certain USC cheated in the game, and USC has since vacated all wins from that season so that's one less loss I had at Notre Dame. Secondly, you saw how Kelly won the first game this year with my players. Finally, when the Chiefs make the playoffs this year you will know who was the difference maker."
Weis is slated to make $2 million per season, but will be subjected to staying under 450 lbs. He will be allowed to work in any motorized cart but will not receive guaranteed money. The Chiefs have promised to honor the contract no matter how hard Weis is breathing as long as he is.