Monday, April 12, 2010

I Lost 50 Pounds!

Go ahead and ask me how I did it! 
Nutrisystem?  No.  Jenny Craig? No. Weight Watchers? No.  Diet and Exercise? No.  I give up. How?
I carefully crafted every picture on my profile to hide my fat.  I took headshots and posted them as my profile pic to deceive you. I carefully crafted other side angle pictures to distort my weight and even then I'll never show my whole body. Head shot, side angle head shot, tilted camera angles, dim lighting, taking pictures with multiple friends to hide my weight. I'll make a kissing face to hide the way I look too.  I tricked you by wearing sweat pants and my hoodie. See I can have that piece of chocolate cake.

I don't think you should.

You know the situation.  Girl says I have this friend you should meet.  First thought in your head is probably what does she look like? She's really pretty I'll show you her picture. The girl looks cute enough so you decide to go meet here. Turns out that picture was from a couple of years ago, or a few pounds ago, or not even really them (laugh now for those who know where this is going).  How can you misrepresent yourself so badly? Don't girls realize this only leads to disappointment when they are seen full body.  You are not who you said you were. Sure it got me in the door, but it makes me more likely to leave.  So girls, try being a little more real with your profile pics, your girlfriends looks, and maybe we can be pleasantly surprised at some point. You are not fooling us anymore.

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