Friday, October 15, 2010

Trapped In the Closet with Bad Music

Sometime back in high school someone was explaining a radio stunt to me.  The radio station had a contest to see who won a trailer.  The person who statyed in the trailer the longest would be the winner.  The catch was that that song "Eye of the Tiger" would be blaring on repeat the whole time.  It was a novel concept and and an interesting twist to a radio contest.  I present to you 5 songs I couldn't not listen to on repeat without purposely destroying me eardrums.  If you really hate yourself today watch and listen to every song.

Gwen Stefani "Hollaback Girl" 
This song is incrediably painful and seems like a teenage version of a kindergarten song.  Really your going to spell out B-A-N-A-N-A-S?  Gwen Stefini became snatch non grata after this song because it is so unbearable.  Why do singers became more annoying when they break away from a band and start a singles career?

Missy Elliot  "Work It"
I have no idea what she is saying in the chorus of this song. It's more obscure then ebonics and gibberish.  It's like she could rhyme or come up with anything good so she fumbled her words on purpose.

Black Eyed Peas "Pump It"

You could put anything they have ever done in here and you would be right.  However, this one seems like it would be the worse on repeat.  Just imagine the sheer terror of hearing Pump It....Pump It over and over again.  That is the definition of hell.

On second thought, this is probably worse on repeat.

Yea that is definitely worse.  This is your weekly reminder not to associate yourself with people who like the Black Eyed Peas.  If we have any dangerous space missions, I volunteer them.

Kelis "Milkshake"
I had no idea who even sung this song, but no I know who exactly to hate.  This girl isn't even mildy attractive, and yet she is signing a sexual song.  What gives?  The lyrics in this song are preposterous under any cirmcustances and really reminds me why I refused to listen to pop music for so many years.

Train "Soul Sister"

I know this will strike a chord with a few readers who like this song but I can't stand it.  The guy singing just comes off like such a pansy I can't take it.  I won't rip on all sappy love songs, but man is this one I can't get behind.  I think it's even on a few commericals which makes it worse.

If I were trapped inside the trailer listening to these songs and others I'm certainly blessed to be forgetting at the moment, something tells me I would be acting like this.

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