5 for Sunday

Week 17 is no fun to try to handicap at all, but this time a month from now we'd kill to still have this amount of football still to watch, so what the heck. Home teams in CAPS.

NEW ORLEANS (-7.5) over Tampa Bay
The Bucs have had a great year, but what kept them out of the playoffs was their inability to beat good teams (0-5 against teams that are above .500). The Saints are peaking at the right time and have Pierre Thomas back in and with early-season freshness to get them those tough yards that seemed to elude them at times this year. The Saints are playing to secure the 5th spot in the NFC and a date next week with whoever wins the NFC West. I think they'll keep their foot on the gas long enough in this game to cover this number.

HOUSTON (+2.5) over Jacksonville
The Jags have emptied their sack this year, and despite exceeding most people's expectations are entering Week 17 a long shot for the playoffs. Not helping matters is the fact that David Garrard is out and MJD is doubtful. Despite the Houston situation being so bad that they might even resort to Wade Phillips after the inevitable firing of Gary Kubiak, I'll take the 2.5 at home with the Texans in what figures to be their annual "oh wait, maybe these guys are actually pretty decent, I'm going to pick them as a playoff dark horse next year" game.

INDIANAPOLIS (-9.5) over Tennessee
If the Jags-Texans game were at 1:00, I'd never touch this game. The Colts still need a win or a Jacksonville loss to take the AFC South, but there is a strong likelihood that the instant either one of those outcomes becomes imminent that you will see Peyton Manning put the baseball cap on for the rest of this game. In a normal situation, one would be pretty certain that the Colts, who have manufactured something of a running game in recent weeks, should beat the Titans handily. I think the other AFC South game will remain close for long enough that the Colts will be able to make it a double-digit affair.

Chicago (+10) over GREEN BAY
I don't believe the speculation that the Bears will lay down in this game, despite having the #2 seed and first-round bye locked up. Green Bay needs this game to secure a Wild Card spot and Chicago would love to spoil that party. Also, if you saw any of the Bears game with the Jets last week, you took two things away from it going into Week 17. One, the Chicago defense has kinks it needs to work out before the playoffs. Two, the Chicago offense would be ill-advised to let themselves get stale by taking two weeks off. All in all, these teams are pretty fairly matched so give me the 10 points.

St. Louis (-3) over SEATTLE
The feel-good story of the week has been flexed to Sunday Night, and the likelihood that the Seahawks will be turning to Charlie Whitehurst in this game is enough to make me declare this one a nationally-televised Rams party. Seattle has lost 5 of its last 6 games by an average of over 18 points, and the Rams have done a good job this year of beating the teams that they are supposed to beat. As nice as it would be for the Rams to make the playoffs one year removed from 1-15, it would more importantly ensure some semblance of order in the world because they'd be 8-8 and we won't have to see a 7-9 team host a playoff game.

Last Week: 1-4-0
Season: 40-38-2

Cinq Pour Samedi

70 games over the course of 14 weeks were not enough to settle the friendly competition between Kevin and me, and each of us going 4-1 for Championship Weekend at the beginning of this month has the end of our NCAA season resembling the end of Rocky II. We decided our tiebreaking strategy would be to each take 5 games on New Year's weekend and then see where we stood. If we are still tied after that, then we'll take the remaining BCS games and hope it works itself out from there. For fun, and in light of the inordinate proportion of the Rockythons I caught on Versus last weekend, I'm going to draw a parallel between each game I pick and its closest Rocky equivalent. Obviously, all games are neutral sites so there are technically no home teams.

Notre Dame (+3) over Miami (Sun Bowl, Friday)
-Rocky counterpart: Rocky II
Rocky II was tagged "The Rematch of the Century," and this Notre Dame-Miami game is the first meeting between the two programs since both were perennial powers 20 years ago. Also in that movie, Rocky Balboa was forced to switch up and fight right-handed in order to avoid further damage to his right eye that he'd sustained fighting Apollo Creed lefty the first time around. In this game, Notre Dame would be well-served to switch up their offensive thinking, which for most of this year has consisted of living and dying by the over-the-top passing game. However, the Irish aren't potent enough to beat Miami's stellar pass defense but should be able to find running lanes against the Hurricanes, who gave up - this is not a misprint - 231 yards per game on the ground in their last three games of the regular season. The long layoff before bowl games has been known to be a momentum-stopper, but I can't ignore the disparity between how these two teams played toward the end of the season.

Michigan State (+10) over Alabama (Capital One Bowl, Saturday)
-Rocky counterpart: Rocky IV
You know if I'm comparing a game to Rocky IV, then I expect it to be entertaining. Alabama reminds me a bit of Ivan Drago in that has killed its overmatched opponents this year but seemingly has had everything else handed to them on reputation. Even though the Crimson Tide's running game can be powerful like Drago's 1,850-Psi punch, their offense can sometimes be one-dimensional. Michigan State represents the Big Ten in the arms race against the SEC (yes I did just compare the SEC to communist Russia but let's just go with it) and boasts an offense that can wear you down if you let them get too close, which is just what Alabama's defense had happen to it against Auburn and LSU. All Rocky set out to do was take everything Drago had and be left standing at the end, and all the Spartans have to do is be standing at the end of this one. There's no reason they can't keep it close. Now all we have to do is invent a drinking game to go with this.

Penn State (+7) over Florida (Outback Bowl, Saturday)
-Rocky counterpart: Rocky Balboa
This might have been the easiest bowl game to compare to a Rocky movie, just because seeing 84-year-old Joe Paterno on the sidelines conjures the same "isn't he way too old for this?" thought that seeing 60-year-old Rocky Balboa in the ring did. On the field, the only real edge that Florida has over Penn State is (you guessed it!) speed, and the Nittany Lions' best chance to win would be with good old fashioned blunt-force trauma, namely Evan Royster and his 4.9 yards per carry. The Gators didn't show nearly enough in their last few games to make you feel confident in laying anything more than 2-3 points.

TCU (-3) over Wisconsin (Rose Bowl, Saturday)

-Rocky counterpart: Rocky III
Try to tell me that Rocky's run of 10 title defenses in the beginning of Rocky III doesn't remind you of TCU running the table this year over its relatively mediocre competition. And try to tell me that Wisconsin, with their nuts-and-bolts, beat-the-hell-out-of-you-the-old-fashioned-way style and their status as a slight underdog from the Midwest doesn't make you think of Clubber Lang a little bit. The Horned Frogs are out to show that they are no paper champion and a BCS bowl victory before they bolt for the Big East would accomplish that. I must admit I'm not crazy about this pick, especially when the line is begging you to take Wisconsin, but my prevailing thought is to take the team with the better defense since the long pre-bowl layoffs can put rust on even the best offenses for a quarter or so. If TCU is up to the challenge presented by the Badgers' three-headed backfield monster (and more importantly, the five-headed offensive line monster), then I like their chances in the Granddaddy of Them All.

Oklahoma (-16.5) over Connecticut (Fiesta Bowl, Saturday)
-Rocky counterpart: Rocky
The long-established power Oklahoma goes up against a relative upstart (UConn is in just their 9th season as a Division I-A, I mean FCS, team) whose mere presence in the game is questioned by many (we don't need to delve any further into the matter of the Big East's automatic bid this year). Sound a little bit like Apollo Creed giving the unknown Rocky Balboa a shot at the title, for little reason beyond Rocky a.) living in Philly, and b.) having a cool nickname? Unfortunately for the Huskies, the similarities between the 2011 Fiesta Bowl and the original Rocky pretty much end there. UConn has zero passing game and will be in big trouble if they get behind by two scores or more. This Oklahoma team showed me enough in the late part of the season (especially against Oklahoma State and Nebraska) for me to ignore some of the deuces that Bob Stoops' teams have dropped in BCS games in recent years. I echo Kevin's sentiment - Sooners by 3 TD's or more.

Two things of note. One, I know I chose not to include Rocky V in my bowl game comparisons. That is because Rocky V represents about 75% of the bowl season altogether - barely watchable and unnecessary. Two, in the first time all year that Kevin and I have taken the same five games, we are different on the Sun Bowl and on the Rose Bowl, so provided there are no pushes, someone is winning this thing by two games or else we'll see you back here next week.

Last Week: 4-1-0
Season: 38-28-4

Sites of Future Bowl Games: Yemen

When: December 30 or 31th, it depends on atmospheric conditions (i.e. artillery flying through the air, grenades)

Who: A stodgy Big Ten team (three yards in a cloud of dust has a whole new meaning)  vs. Kentucky or another team sure to be 6-6.

What: We're Safer than Somalia Bowl.  Sponsored by Gatorade (because you have no H2O)

Where: San'a', Yemen.  Specifically the Ali Muhesen Stadium (Capacity 25,000).  San'a' is the largest city in Yemen but yet the first to run out of water.  When checking through airport security make sure you bring plenty of your own water.  O yeah you can't do that, but it's Yemen so there are not real strict on WMDs so there's that.

If You Go: 

• Pretend your are Muslim, and act like you hate all world powers.  Cozy up with some warlords and enjoy some of the finest dining and house you can find.
• There is no rail system so use mini buses to transport your way around the city.  They usually hold about 10 people.
• The average temperature is 68 degrees in December so you should be comfortable, weather wise at least
• The beach is just about everywhere so ladies will enjoy the trip.  Where else can women get a tan, and men shop for guns in the same place?
• Bowl activities include praying five times a day, occasionally running for your life, sleeping with one eye open, and cowering in a corner while civilians are terrorized
• You are a real fan of exhibition football if you are brave enough to attend this game, and will be rewarded with 500 virgins if you do not return.

5 for the Mythical National Title

Lou and I finished in a virtual dead heat.  We were 10 games over .500.  I was 39-29-2 and he was 38-28-4. Lou suggested that we pick some new years day games to sort out a winner and hey were trying to get to 300 posts for the year so why not?  In reality we both did very well picking for the season and should consider gambling for real.  Anyone know a good bookie?

Outback Bowl: Penn State (+7) @ Florida.

A virtual home game for the Gators but seriously how are they touchdown favorites?  Urban Meyer's last game blah blah blah.  Penn State has been stellar in bowl games recently and I think the case will be the same here.  I expect PSU to win outright but will gladly take the 7 points.

Capital One Bowl: Alabama vs. Michigan State (+10)

I know I have a Big Ten Bias, but I could see Michigan State keeping this game close. Yes they are clearly the 3rd best team in the conference but Alabama is not going to run circles around you offensively.  If Michigan State can keep their tailbacks active and work play action they will hang around.

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma(-16.5) vs. UConn

Remember when Big Game Bob was Big Game Bob.  I think this game will remind you why Bob Stoops was so highly touted 5 years ago.  Oklahoma should torch a weak UConn secondary forcing UConn to open things up with Zach Frazier.  I don't like the Huskies chances if they can't pound Jordan Todman 40 times in this game.  Oklahoma by 3 touchdowns.

Sun Bowl: Miami (-3) vs. Notre Dame

This is a virtual toss up but me thinks Notre Dame has been lucky to have finished the season so strong.  Its so easy for me to root against Notre Dame and I will be sitting at home watching this one so I'll root for Miami.

Rose Bowl:  Wisconsin (+3) vs. TCU

I feel really confident about this pick which could be bad news.  Wisconsin has been the best team in the Big Ten for my money.  Gary Patterson is a good defensive mind who has figured out ways to shut down spread teams where other coaches fail.  I could get into X's and O's here but basically TCU loves them some undersized ends who can do multiple things.  One thing they won't be able to do, stop Wisconsin from running student body right, student body left, and running right down there throat.  I like the over in this game because I think TCU will get theirs too.  However, Wisconsin should win this one and take their 4th straight Rose Bowl, something the entire Big Ten is envious about.

I Like A Da YouTubes, Volume IV

This is what you do when you're outside shoveling snow and your iPod battery dies and you have no choice but to come back inside and charge it. Hope you enjoy.

I caught wind of this one a few weeks ago. Men and women alike will find this funny as hell.


Many of you have seen this before and may even remember it making Sportscenter back in 1994 when it happened. It's an unbelievable comeback in a Texas high school state championship game, only to be followed by...well, you'll find out.


I came across the last video for this installment about a month or so ago. Some of my favorite finds on YouTube are great moments in sporting events filmed from a person's seat. They're fairly prevalent now with the rise in phone-camera quality, but back in 2001 that wasn't the case. We've all seen the famous Derek Jeter flip play in Oakland a million times, but starting around the 1:00 mark, here's a look at the play from seats right behind the action.

NAGAYT's Official Unofficial Post-Christmas List

Now that the wrapping paper has been thrown away, the 24 hours of A Christmas Story have passed, and the sounds of Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis, and Andy Williams are giving way to normal music again, allow me, on behalf of all of us here at NotAsGoodAsYouThink, to wish our followers the best for the remainder of this holiday season. And now I'm going to tell you a bunch of stuff that we'd all like to see in the coming year. Consider it an unofficial post-Christmas list.

-A definitive, authentic, well-written, compelling, authoritative movie made about Babe Ruth. The Babe starring John Goodman was terrible, and 1948's The Babe Ruth Story is only remembered today for how cheap and tacky it was. The technology is there, the expanded knowledge of the man's life is there thanks to new biographies and documentaries that have come out in the past decade-plus, and the void for a solid baseball movie is certainly there. Obviously the thing won't go from tee to green in a year, but to even hear that the wheels are in motion for such a project would be great. Who's with me?
-Jon Gruden to do us all a favor and step out of the Monday Night Football broadcast booth and back onto the sidelines. Maybe even in Dallas.
-NFL Network to find a way to get Gus Johnson onto its broadcast team. It may make their coverage borderline watchable.
-The St. Louis Rams to get to 8-8 and win the NFC West, if for no other reason than the country has already had enough of the "REVAMP THE NFL PLAYOFF SYSTEM!" outcry from every corner of the media. Think the overtime debate of the past few years, and multiply it by 10. No thanks.
-The Miami Heat to lose in the first round of the playoffs.
-Keep the baseball playoffs the way they are. This idea of adding a second wild card team is idiotic. You have 162 games to assert yourself as one of the top four teams in your league - that's more than enough of a sample size.
-A Super Bowl that goes to overtime. We've come close to seeing one several times in the recent past. Come on, wouldn't that be fun?
-For once and for all, anyone who ever, ever, ever talks about the Super Bowl in written form uses it as two words. It's the "Super Bowl." It is not the "Superbowl." Get it right. It's not that hard; bloody Toby could do it.
-A one-way plane ticket to Tonga for A.J. Burnett.
-On that same token, one more year for Andy Pettitte.
-The Arrested Development movie. Please.
-If a sequel to The Hangover does come out, please let it not be an embarrassment to the first one.
-For those of us who have become Chris Lilley fans over the course of 2010 (and that includes all of our contributors and a good amount of our followers), we would want nothing more than for his new series Angry Boys, due to air on HBO in March, to include Phil Olivetti as a main character. This really needs to happen.
-The Northeast to finally learn how not to overreact to a snowstorm.

5 for Sunday

If it weren't for the easiest betting decision of the year last week (Bears-Vikings on Monday Night) I'd have thrown up a donut. So much for being able to coast in with an assured over-.500 season. Home teams in CAPS.

Dallas (-6.5) over ARIZONA (Saturday Night)
I've avoided going too Dallas-heavy this year in this space, but I had trouble finding a fifth game and couldn't come up with enough funny foot puns about Rex Ryan to put together an adequate writeup on the Jets-Bears game, so to the old default I'll go on Christmas Night. Dallas has been terrible on defense lately but has found an identity on offense since Jon Kitna got comfortable and Jason Garrett quit trying to be outsmart everyone and started playing to the team's strengths. The Cardinals are the perfect antidote for the Cowboys' defensive problems - they have rookie John Skelton playing quarterback and have averaged less than 150 yards passing per game in their last three. On a side note, does anyone else find it funny how you haven't heard the usual outcry this year from people who can't get NFL Network? Their slate of games has been beyond putrid.

Detroit (+3.5) over MIAMI
The Dolphins have been terrible at home this year and their offense has thrown up three straight stinkers. The Lions won their first road game since 2007 last week at Tampa Bay and are probably as scary as a 4-10 team could possibly be right now. As a result of having Drew Stanton start at quarterback, Detroit has rushed for 168 yards per game in the last three weeks in victories over the Bucs, Packers, and a near miss against the Bears. I like the Lions' chances of making it two road wins in a row this week.

NY Giants (+3) over GREEN BAY
This game is an example of why you can't put too much stock in last week. Yes, the Giants put together a monumental collapse against the Eagles. And yes, the Packers had the Patriots on the ropes in Foxboro until Matt Flynn showed that he's a graduate of the Les Miles School of Clock Management in a game where many didn't give them a chance (my hand is raised). So now that Aaron Rodgers is likely to return for Green Bay, conventional wisdom would tell you to take the Packers at home. After watching both games, I saw a Giants team that moved the ball at will and rushed the quarterback very well for 52 minutes. I've seen a lot of the Packers this year and their ineffective running game often hamstrings their offense - before you go crazy about the 27 they put up against the Pats, remember that is still one of the worst pass defenses in the league. The Giants have a good chance to win the game in any weather.

San Diego (-8) over CINCINNATI
Very Good Team, say hello to Very Bad Team. Oh, and don't worry about having to go on the road - their stadium won't be close to full. This game should be gift-wrapped for the Chargers, and if the weather is remotely manageable Vincent Jackson is likely to eat the depleted Bengal defense for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Bolts by at least 10.

ATLANTA (-2.5) over New Orleans (Monday Night)
The Falcons seem to be getting all the same types of breaks that the Saints were getting last year, and are very very tough to bet against at home. If you need more than Matt Ryan's 19-1 home record, then consider the already-suspect Saints run defense was worn down for 208 yards last week and the Falcons run it as well as anyone. Giving less than a FG with a 12-2 team that's undefeated at home this year seems logical enough to me.

Last Week: 1-4-0
Season: 39-34-2

Make an Appointment Dr. Jack: Colin Cowherd

Colin Cowherd has his own radio show on ESPN radio from 10 AM -1 PM.  He is also on a show called Sportsnation on ESPN.  Somehow he is scheduled to have a series made based on his life that will air on CBS.  He is clearly spreading worse than the bed bug epidemic.  Sometimes good things happen to bad people in life. It's approriate that the post beneath this is about the wonderlic test.  The same wonderlic test questions were read aloud on his radio show a few years back.  That had to have been a thrill for MZone right?  Well you see Cowherd read the questions without giving any retribution.  Yea the guy is plagaristic dickhead.

If you have ever heard Colin Cowherd's radio program you would know how much he likes to create controversy and unsubstantiated rumors. Just ask A.J. Burnett who is suing him. 

Cowherd attributed said struggles of A.J. Burnett last season were due to “the worst divorce in the history of divorces.”  Hours later, Burnett’s agent, Darek Braunecker, said, “Colin Cowherd has no idea what he’s talking about … not in the process nor was he ever in the process of getting a divorce.” (via Big Lead)

Ask Cliff Lee who was a recent victim of Cowherd's lies.

After being told of Cowherd's ridiculous accusations - namely that he "doesn't like Texas," "doesn't care about Texas," and "mails it in" against bad teams - Lee responded with comments on the local ESPN website and in the Star-Telegram's morning edition:
"It's a lie," Lee was quoted as saying. "Write that. Are you writing? Write that it's a lie. I did not say that and nobody close to me would say that. Either say who the source is or shut up because I am saying it is not true."

Anyone remember what he said about Sean Taylor?

"Sean Taylor, great player, has a history of really really bad judgment, really REALLY bad judgment. Cops, assault, spitting, DUI. I'm supposed to believe his judgment got significantly better in two years, from horrible to fantastic? 'But Colin he cleaned up his act.' Well yeah, just because you clean the rug doesn't mean you get everything out. Sometimes you've got stains, stuff so deep it never ever leaves....They were after a guy, not stuff....I think you have to be naive to think it's random. " (via D.C. Sports Blog)

Yea he was wrong about that and never apologized.

Cowherd also like to pick on the little guy.  Just ask the website the Big Lead.  Cowherd encourged listeners of his syndicated show to flood the sports blog called The Big Lead, which got so many hits that the Web site went offline for about 48 hours.  He along with others in the main stream media are becoming more desperate to create news and be more controversial because sports fans are turning to blogs for more reputable information.

ESPN can continue to apologize for the guy's behavior and lack of ethics but they keep writing his checks.  They continue to give him more airtime with shows like Sportsnation and segments on Sportscenter.  ESPN approves of stirring the pot because they want ratings.  You should have your TV and radio off before you tune into Cowherd.  We hope Colin Cowherd makes appointment with the good doctor, we promise he will be quick and painless.

NFL Wonderlic Test

I got this idea from the MZone's Wonderlic Test http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2006/03/m-zone-wonderlic-test.html

In my attempt to appeal to the audience that watches the NFL more frequently, I have created at NFL Wonderlic for future NFL Draft prospects to study from. Roger Goodell has been stepping up the punishments so a great deal of questions revolve around his new enforcement.

1. You get caught video taping your opponents practice, what are the consequences?

A. You get fined $50,000 because you didn't actually use the tape
B. Suspended for 1 game
C. You have to coach from the press box
D. You wear over sized hoodies with cut off sleeves and are immune to punishment

2. Which of the numbers in the group is the largest?

A. 12 x 6 x 9
B. 723+25-213
C. Rex Ryan's Cholesterol Level
D. 527

3. You spend were involved in a dog fighting ring and were responsible for killing dogs.  How quickly will Eagles fans forgive you?

A. As soon as you sign with them
B. After you score your first touchdown
C. You never had to apologize
D. When you become the starting QB

4. If you watch a Brett Farve game on TV, which adjective will be used the most to describe him?

A. Legend
B. Tough
C. Sexter

5. How many relevant games will the NFL Network broadcast per year?

A. All are relevant silly
B. 1, but only if you team is playing
C. Do replays of games count?

6. Who will spend more time in jail, a man who drunkenly killed a man with his car, or a man who accidentally shot himself in the thigh?

7. You're watching NFL Today on CBS, how long before Shannon Sharpe puts a sentence together?

A. Within 5 minutes of the start of the show
B. By the Picks segment
C. Before the end of the show
D. Has he ever put a sentence together?

8. If you watch ESPN Monday Night football, how many times will a John Gruden comment be proven wrong by replay?

A. 2
B. 0
C. 5
D. 7

9. If you are drafted by the Washington Redskins, what will the amount of your first check be?

A.3,000
B. 15,000
C. 250,000
D. Fill in the Blank, write the amount you feel you deserve

10.  The Lions are projected to make the post season by the main stream media.  How long until those dreams are dashed?

A. Week 1, Screwed out of victory
B. Week 3, QB out for season
C. Week 15, not good enough
D. Barry Sanders walks through that door, Wild Card!

My Sports Moment of the Year

I am an American.  I love sports.  Rooting for United States Men's National Team (USMNT) is natural.  Next to rooting for Michigan, it's the only thing I feel that I was born into.  Supporting the United States soccer team is different from supporting the U.S. in the Olympics.  Outside of US Men's hockey, the Olympics rarely suffice when because they don't seem competitive and they are largely individual.  You know Michael Phelps is going to dominate before you watch.  The US Softball team will destroy teams, and the medal count feels like a forced tally that largely people don't care about.  The US Men's basketball team is so good but they rarely bring their best players and anything less than Gold is unacceptable.  This is why I enjoy US Soccer so much.  The team is good, but rooting for them doesn't feel like jumping on the bandwagon.  I'll rock a Claudio Reyna or Clint Dempsey jersey any day of the week and scoff at Americans that wear a jersey of a country they have never been to.

The USMNT is America in its infancy.  They haven't quite reached world dominance but you want to be there when they do.  It will probably feel something like the 1980 US Hockey team defeating USSR in the Olympics.  I want to be there to watch the team grow into that and deliver a moment we will never forget.  2010 South Africa was a start.

The team was minutes away from heading out of the World Cup in what would have been failure.  Then suddenly, it's Howard to Donovan to Altidore to Dempsey, and Donovan for the goal.  Success, jjubilation, relief, top of the group.  It was ugly, but it was done the American way with hard work, belief, and desire.    For me, this was the sports moment of the year and well worth scheduling a "doctors appointment" months in advance to watch this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbn3rOPmR9w  US Reaction
http://mgoblog.com/content/get-kids   The Goal

What was you favorite sports moment of the year?  Roy Halladay no hitter in playoffs? Eagles score 28 points in 7 minutes to beat Giants? The Flyers chase for the cup? Auburn's comeback against Bama? Something else?