Thursday, January 28, 2010

Simply Sloppy

Sloppy (adj.): marked by a lack of neatness or order; marked by a lack of care or precision
Sloppiness (n): marked by an absence of due or proper care or attention

There’s an ever growing epidemic in this country. It’s everywhere. It’s right in front of us. On television, in restaurants, EVERYWHERE. The places are endless, and so are the waistlines. Americans love to eat. If you don’t understand the definitions stated above, let me make this simple.

Sloppy IS defined as:
a fat, overweight, or obese person PERIOD;
a person who has no regard for how he/she looks; or
someone who doesn’t have their act together

We believe that we are the #1 country in the world, a leader above all. Yet, we carry ourselves like fools. Is it fun when you can’t breathe? It’s not good when a girl turns you down at the bar. Are you trying to look like Joaquin Phoenix? You don’t impress anyone. It’s time to open your eyes (it’s a shame your cheeks are too big).

I have my act together, which doesn’t give you the right to disgrace me with your presence. Do us all a favor and buy a shirt that covers your fat? I shouldn’t be sitting in a PUBLIC library and see the bare bottom of your midsection bounce when you walk by me. Clothes are made to fit your body NOW, not ten years ago. Women are terrible at understanding this, especially heavy high-school girls.

Men have a different problem. Please shower. Please shave or trim your beard, at least. And don’t wear Nike shocks with a suit. People aren’t laughing with you. How does a guy who hasn’t moved from his bed in two years get a show on TLC? What could possibly be so interesting about his life? And others are sitting on the couch watching this mess (in HD). Don’t tell me that I’m too skinny or that I need to beef up. You obviously don't know what's right and what's good. I promise not to criticize you when you come asking questions about how to cure your diabetes.

There’s no excuse for sloppiness. Read a book on nutrition and healthy living. Mix exercise into your daily routine. Basically, DO SOMETHING to avoid embarrassment. Having a great job means very little if you are unhealthy and unhappy.

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