Thursday, January 28, 2010

Why I Can't Watch the News

I like to stay up on current events and such, so I read online. With the internet, I pick what an issue that interests me, I read it, end of story. What I don't need is some excessively bubbly anchor trying to be my friend. Don't be my friend, I don't know you, and I don't like you. Just give me the news. Yet, this proves to be a challenging task. The programmers for these shows include so much irrelevant crap that I could not care less about. For example, take when a bad snowstorm dumps a large amount of snow on the area. The press is out there covering this thing like it's the damn moon landing. And they always have those helpful "tips" from "experts". These are my favorite. They find experts on anything and everything. "When shoveling snow, lift with your legs, not with your back. Try to shovel every few hours to avoid doing it all at once. Put salt down to melt the ice". Really? Gee TV news, thanks for the advice. If it weren't for my news anchors, who knows where I would be with this catastrophic weather event. I really would not have figured this out. Even the average moron knows how to handle this. Stop assuming how dumb the average person is. Granted, the average yokel out there is pretty damn stupid. But the news somehow decides its interesting to offer obvious advice. They also love to sensationalize shit by allowing the average idiot that is out and about to utter the spoken word on air about the situation. Its really not interesting to hear how people are handling the snow. I mean come on, enough already with the everyday people interviews.

Anchor: How are you handling the snow, sir? Idiot: Oh well Im out here shoveling. The kids are out sledding, they're thrilled not to have school. I can't wait to get inside and have some hot cocoa. My wife doesn't like to come out in the snow so I'm stuck, haha.

Well, that was riveting. Fascinating, other people have to deal with the snow, wow. What outstanding f***ing journalism. Walter Cronkite eat your heart out. The magnitude of your work in Vietnam, the moon landing, Watergate and so on simply pales in comparison to Joe Nobody's heroic snow shoveling. And I can't stand to hear people bitch about the weather in the Northeast whenever its cold or we get a snowstorm. Move then. Leave. No one is keeping you here. Do you understand you live in the Northeast? Have you noticed how the climate changes miraculously in synchronization with the changes in season? The cold weather tends to range from barely tolerable to unspeakably cold from November to March here. DEAL WITH IT! Put on a jacket and stop your bitching. Unless you work outside, stop complaining. These are the same people that complain about crowded malls during the holidays. Nobody cares what you think. Yet, the news loves asking common morons to comment on matters they know little of. Obviously, the news is trying to engage the average moron viewer. Typically, the topic of discussion is something inherently negative by nature.

This brings me to my next point. The news can be intensely depressing and emotionally draining. Nonstop weeping mothers of fire victims, rape, murder, robbery, the economy, the Eagles, and anything else negative that can be harped on. As a result of the nonstop negativity, I just cant watch daily TV news in the morning or any time for that matter. Its too draining. I'm too spent to devote any emotional calories to these people. I don;t like seeing people suffer in pain, anguish, or grief. I care about what happens, therefor I am indifferent becuase I choose not to acknowledge what the problem is. It is estimated that 146,000 people die give any 24 hour period. The vast majority of the time, it won;t affect me. I don't need the emotionally draining murder and destruction updates from the news. I wake up, go downstairs and throw on sportscenter. I want to get my day off on the right foot. Do I really care who died in a robbery overnight? No. Unless I knew the person, then I'll invest emotionally in the situation. I acknowledge mine and my family's health and such, but I don't need to share in the misery of life events that occur to total strangers. It's cold, but life is too short to constantly feel grief. Thats too much for me to handle. So please, scale back the pull-at-my-heart-strings bullsh*t. People are intrigued by death and destruction. Im not. I choose not to be. Thank you.

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