Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Why ESPN Sucks

Corporate Whores-ESPN has an advertisement in every section of Sportscenter. Coors Light Six Pack of Questions, Budweiser Hot Seat, Bud Light Freeze Frame, Gatorade Ultimate Highlight. All these segments are garbage anyways and are manipulated on what is supposed to be a news show for the sake of corporate sponsors.

Neil Everett- The guy has an irritating voice. 2-1 the troll still can't get any even though he's on TV.

Flavor in broadcasts- Yes, Dan Patrick and Keith Oberman did it very well. But show us a goal, TD, basket, point, or homer without a "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" once, and we will send you a shiny dollar in the mail. Everyone tries to be like the originals, but instead come off as jackasses. Hat tip Mgoblog

Sideline reporters - For some reason they have been deemed useful but rarely do they even add anything to the game. Sure Erin Andrews shes hot blah blah. I don't care. I prefer my sex appeal and sports separate. You know church and state.

Pam Ward- If there is someone who is a worse announcer on national TV, let me know. Otherwise the bashing continues. She should be doing WNBA games permanently.

Women's basketball doesn't equal men's basketball. I don't need Uconn women's basketball in primetime. I'm not watching ESPN to glory in the equality of women. Apparently ESPN doesn't realize that they don't have to adhere to Title IX.

Skip Bayless- The guy would yell at a toddler and accuse him of being lazy. He has been a mainstay on ESPN in the afternoon for talking louder than you.

ESPN Original Entertainment- Two minute drill was cool. Season on the Brink, Junction Boys, Beg, Barrow, and Deal, and so on suck.

Mike Golic-"I don't think he is qualified to read the morning announcements, let alone co-host a radio show"HT: EDSBS. It's amazing that Bob (Saved by the Bell College Years) and Mike Golic broke into the entertainment industry.

Synergy- Promo the games you have the rights to while barely mentioning the big games on in other places, no matter how important they might be. Push your product over THE GAME. Vile corporate entertainment thinking that yields little but viewer disgust. HT:EDSBS

Sportstainment! The concept of the idea that sports isn't entertainment all by itself. Consider them pieces of evidence in one long indictment of Disney's attempt to force ESPN into becoming the story, not the medium.

E! Television. See Tiger Woods. ESPN has become like every other crap gossip show.

ESPN the Magazine: Although I hear its in two ply now

ESPN Insider- I am curious to hear who actually pays for this. Is Merril Hodge's insight into the Bills-Jags game that important.

Experts- Everyone with a microphone is an expert. Experts pick. Let's here what the experts have to say. Fuck that.

PTI- Not for the show itself, but for its shambolic impact on ESPN programming, which now features argumentative elements in even the least confrontational formats. HT: mgoblog.com

Mel Kiper Jr- His expert analysis on quarterbacks consists of saying he can throw the football. Gee Mel thanks that's dynamite. The guy is so arrogant and often infuriates me.

Mark Shapiro- He's currently running Six Flags into the ground as CEO. He previously derailed ESPN. He is largely responsible for the garbage TV you see today like Around the Horn.

ESPN Hollywood: Do we really care where the show is done? Does it add value to the broadcast?

Surely you can think of more but this is starting to take too long.

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