Monday, February 1, 2010

On Notice: It Begins Again

I would imagine that many of you loyal readers have seen the segment on the Colbert Report called On Notice. For those of you who have not, it is basically a list of people, places, or things that Colbert has a problem with. I discovered how to create my own awhile back and would post new ones each week and post them as my wallpaper at school. They shall now continue on this blog, although not on a weekly basis. Without further ado, I present On Notice (Ok so I can't get the picture down the page) . FYI, there is no order to this.
1. Living at Home- It's getting to me and not just on the weekends. I am a fairly independent person but when you don't really have people your age around you at work things get rather annoying. Not to mention my commutes are generally terrible.
2. Sheep- They are at the mall all the time to get the latest fashions and electronics. They buy shit they don't need. They have no souls. This people will do what TV and magazines tell them to do. They are obsessed with reality TV and watch Access Hollywood like it's their job. They have an iPhone, watch American Idol, wear multicolored scarfs, and move with the masses. Nothing they do breaks the mold.
3. Dancing Sober- I don't dance because I don't enjoy it. I also suck at it. I have to be hammered to attempt it because it does not help my chances with the ladies. This weekend was odd because we found ourselves dancing unwillingly quite a bit.
4. Flo- This Progressive bitch has been discussed quite a bit, further down the page.
5. Sarah Mclachlan- This one may seem random, but she does those animal advocacy ads on TV that are 3 minutes long. Her music "Angel" is being played while dogs who look sad are shown and your supposed to donate money to help them. Listening to the music "in the arms of an angel" does not make make it me want to help dogs. It makes me want to snuff it like Alex DeLarge. For you see my brothers, special interest groups are intolerable.
6. Tim Tebow- I like Tim Tebow. I really do. It's the media that I am hating here because they paint him in a light that not event he most biased Florida Fans would. The latest instance was the Senior Bowl, where the entire highlight package and game stories discussed Tebow and barely mentioned anything else. If you saw the game MVP, you might know why I'm bitter.
7. Perpetual Road Construction- It never ends. They are not really working. They are just moving cones around and are slowing my commute. Surely every one has uttered these words or had similar thoughts. It seems no matter what major roadway I enter, there is some construction that causes lane shifts and reduced speeds. How long does this shit take?
8. Year of Infinite Pain- 2009-2010 has been quite possibly the worst sports year for my teams in my lifetime. As it stands right now this year will be the first year since 1962-63 that all three major sports at Michigan failed to reach either a Bowl game, the NCAA tournament in Basketball, or the NCAA Tournament in Hockey. Don Draper was a pimp then. My parents were in diapers. Not to mention the fact that the Raiders sucked again, and La Salle has failed to live up to even the most modest expectations.

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